And I Wrote This Book.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

A Splash of Celibacy and Suburbia: Don't Worry, This Isn't Another Quality Book to Add to Your Reading List!

I judge a book by its cover. If an author puts zero effort into a book cover, I put zero effort into reading it. But if an author, say for example, gets drunk on chocolate for the sake of a memorable if not embarrassing book cover, by all means, everyone who can laugh should make the purchase. Hypothetically speaking. Say, for example, it's only a few bucks for the e-book and less than ten for the paperback.  And you'll laugh until you cry, for example. 
                       Cover art by my friend and Graphic Designer Helen Duval.
Paperback here. Ebook here. 
I'm told they'll marry and be on same page (as if marriage works that way) this week.

Celibacy and Suburbia is NOT another relevant book to add to your growing pile of literary brilliance. No, this 78 pager provides countless typos by single men seeking "nteligent womans;" Author Engel's brazen and failed attempts to seduce Taylor Swift and other famed hotties half her age and twice her height; Queen Elizabeth II's shockingly disturbing horse fetish; and to alas end this run-on-and-on sentence, poetic erotica for every month of the year. Oh BIG Santa, take me on your sleigh.

A friend said this one makes for good bathroom reading. Not that kind of bathroom reading, Al!* Well, whatever works for you. But it's not that long. I mean, the book. Oy vey, look what you started, Al

Extra thanks to Bryan Pedas, Janie Junebug, and Captain Alex for helping me put out. Geeze, Al, quit it. I meant: extra thanks for helping me put out Celibacy and Suburbia.

*I tease Al Penwasser because I love him, and he's the best at commenting on my comments about my commenters' comments. And Al's written a number of excellent hilarious and heartfelt books. I highly recommend you buy, read, and review them.

Please also have fun reading, laughing and sharing my third one: Celibacy and Suburbia!

Thank you kindly and lovingly, my dear sillies.

78 comments:

  1. Big congratulations, Robyn! Honored I got to read it before the deranged public, some of whom may or may not catch the typos. (Not Al though - he will catch them.)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thank you, Alex. Your help is instrumental.
      Al might catch them. But would he know they're typos? Gosh, I hope Al is the good sport I'm banking on. I love you, Al. Still friends?

      Delete
    2. I pulled my own finger.
      I need to change now.

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    3. Kindly do not publicly pull other body parts, Al.

      Delete
  2. Congratulations on your new publication, Robyn! It sounds like a goldmine of laughs. :)

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  3. Congrats on the new book. I'll be ordering mine shortly.

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  4. Ooooo, nice action shot on the cover, Robyn!

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    1. I never expected to have such a great time doing a photo shoot, Debra. It was awesome.

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  5. So I finally got around to getting 50 Shades of Penwasser while getting your book ordered. I figure one of you might be a good read. JUST KIDDING! Do you ship chocolate with any orders?

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    1. I can be bribed, CW.
      And between mine and Ken's books, you're sure to shout many a "WTF"?!!

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    2. No hookers in 50 Shades.
      No chocolate, either, though.
      Yeah. WTF?!!

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    3. Toilets? Lampshades? Whips and chains?

      Delete
  6. Congrats, Robyn. I love your take on those personal ads. I know there's someone for everyone, but some of those make me wonder.

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    1. I still keep wondering that myself, Diane. But I also wonder if the weird ones have an easier time finding their match.

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  7. Just got it. Now I know what I will be doing tonight! ;-)

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    1. Woohoo! Thank you, Wilma. I hope you thoroughly enjoy the read.

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  8. I'll bet that cheap suck-up Al was just trying to get a free copy. I'll bet that he wanted you to PAY for his books. Am I right? Then he perverted your mind for his own jollies. He has that effect on people. Since I've read all of his and yours I guess I'm the big loser here. You've both gotten to me.

    For that I am grateful to you both for all the fun!

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    Replies
    1. I think Al and I already had perverted minds, Jono. We lower the bar in that way. Come to think of it, though, I wasn't perverted until I met Al Penwasser in blogland. Coincidence? Not likely.
      PS I'm grateful to you too. I can't speak for Al, though.

      Delete
    2. Wait. I have to pay?
      Well, okay.

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    3. No worries, Al. I'm cheap and easy. Wink.

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  9. I'm sorry the thing with you and Miss Not So Swift did not work out. In the end, I am sure it would have made for a great song.

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    1. Thanks, Ruth. I bet the lyrics would've included "We're never ever ever ever ever..."

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  10. What else can you expect from a guy that uses the loo on the sidewalk? lol

    Congrats indeed at your feed. Sure going to be a fun one to pick up.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, what's that crap about?

      Thank you, Pat. It was fun to write and pull together.

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    2. There's no line for that toilet, either.

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    3. That's 'cuz you never get off the pot and give someone a chance, Al.

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  11. Cheers and congratulations! I can't wait to check the paperback out in person. I hope it comes with real life chocolate stains (if not, I'm sure I can add some coffee stains via open-mouthed laughter).

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, thank you, Bryan. I'm glad it won't be that pricey fake stuff from Starbucks. It's not good to pay $5 for coffee, only to laugh it out.

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  12. Yea! And you're welcome. The pleasure was all mine. That's because Willy Dunne Wooters was here yesterday.

    Love,
    Janie

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  13. Huge congratulations.
    I am going to call you on a teensy lie though. I suspect your getting drunk on chocolate wasn't ONLY for the sake of a memorable photo.

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    Replies
    1. Well, it was incredibly difficult to hold onto chocolate without being able to sample it - so I'd have it all for the photo shoot. Was I able to? Of course not.
      And thank you kindly, EC.

      Delete
  14. It's a pity you had to spoil a nice dress to get that cover picture, Robyn. Doesn't chocolate looks nicer on bare skin? But cover aside, I'd like to know whether you censored the non-celibate episodes which you've written about. ;)

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    Replies
    1. In Woman on the Verge, I censored nothing, GB. In this one, I also censored nothing. In real life, I have nothing to censor. Smiles.

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  15. Since laughter is the best medicine you probably deserve a medical degree for this book.

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  16. Congratulations--it sounds like a funny book, and maybe a little sad as you make fun of my gender.

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    1. Over the years, Sage, I've asked male friends for sample ads by females. There are plenty of bad ones, but they don't provide the level of humor men's ads do. The laughter far outweighs the sadness, by my estimation. Besides, these are illiterate men - not well educated gentlemen like yourself. I'm doubtful you'd find it at all sad.

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    2. There is hope in that I have fooled you into thinking that I'm a gentleman and educated :).

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    3. So long as there's hope, Sage. It's all good. Smiles.

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  17. Congrats on your new book! These ads can't be imagined and it's sad they actually exist. Looking forward to this book and it would be cool if one could scratch and sniff the chocolate....but no other scratch and sniff.

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    1. Yeah, that would be great if I could add some real chocolate, or at least a teaser of scratch and sniff, to the book. Sorry that my tech skills are so limited, Birgit. Smiles.
      Thank you!

      Delete
  18. HUGE Congratulations and hugs to you, friend! I can't to read it!

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    1. Ok ok, it was after midnight when I posted that reply and here it is just after midnight again and I'm re-reading what I wrote. Oopsie! I meant to say "I can't WAIT t read it!" ;)

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    2. Silly girlie. I do the same thing and catch all sorts of typos. But I didn't even catch yours. No worries. Thanks for coming back, though.
      Cheers and hugs.

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  19. Congratulations!

    I thought I'm the only one who bases picking up a new book I haven't heard of with its cover. :P I'm not alone!

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    Replies
    1. Definitely not alone. People are afraid to admit it. But we SHOULD judge a book by its cover, Lux.

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  20. LOL! Fun from cover to cover. Oh my. It sounds like a riot!

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    1. I still have fun re-reading it time and again, Crystal. It's a pick-me-up, though it's not for the humorless.

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  21. Embarrassing myself for laughs? Yeah, that's kinda what I do.

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  22. Ordered! Now if I can only get that hobo off the toilet in front of my house. I'll need to do some reading in a few days.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much, Al! Good luck with the hobo. I've never seen him leave that spot.

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  23. It makes a great coffee table book for sure!

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    1. And if you spill chocolate on it, nobody will notice. Thanks Sarah! =)

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  24. Congrats Robyn and I can tell this cover had a lot of humor and love put into it. :)

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    1. Thanks for your support here and on LinkedIn, Sheena-kay. I appreciate you.

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  25. Congrats. I shall purchase when back from travels. Big thumbs up to you

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  26. Robyn - I'm impressed that you still fit into your wedding dress! You must keep it in the freezer so you can snack on it during photo shoots. Love the cover, title and especially the model! I can't wait to read about all of the Jerry Springer rejects who got away! Julie

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    1. Thank you, Julie. I doubt I could fit into it now. Thankfully I don't have to try. I like your idea of snacking on it, though I did a victory dance after tossing it in the garbage bin when I got home that day. It is now feeding the landfill, which could use a sweetener.

      Delete
  27. Just got it! Can't wait to see what my poor friend has had to put up with in the dating world. Oy vey! Love ya, babe!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, darlin. Oy vey is right.
      Love you too.

      Delete
  28. Oh i cant wait to get it. So excited for you to have another publication.

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    1. I appreciate your cheer, Holli. It's a fun one. Weird too.

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  29. Can't wait to get it!!!!! Congratulations Robyn!

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    1. I'm smiling so much right now. Thank you, JoJo!

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  30. Congratulations! I'm sure this one will be as entertaining as your last!

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    1. Sherry, thank you. It's very different from my last, and not a story book yet hopefully more entertaining because that's its sole purpose. =)

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  31. That top left picture with the moving eyes had me cracking up for like 5 whole minutes.

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    1. Isn't it phenomenal?! Bryan Pedas is a magician. And he's one of the nicest people I know too. I couldn't begin to understand how he made that happen. I still laugh too, everytime I open my blog and see me/it.

      Thanks greatly for the follow. I'm honored to reciprocate.

      Delete
  32. Congratulations! That's awesome! I'll have to download it. :)

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