Robyn / Taylor Swift pretend quotes / Taylor Swift actual quotes
Ladies and gentlemen, and Macaulay Culkin, today we welcome one of the richest, most famous, and most popular singer-songwriters of all time! She dominates the industry, and she dated John Mayer! What more is there to say? Here's Taylor Swift!
Dressed in all white, Taylor steps sexily towards center-stage. The audience roars and whistles, as our camera-man scans the crowd. An all White, young, clean-cut mix of Taylor's exes beckons her return to their arms. Taylor quickly surveys the crowd and bursts into song: "We are never ever ever ever getting back together!" John Mayer stands up, flips her off, and storms out the Emergency Exit.
Robyn turns to Taylor, smiling: Well, who needs him, right? All that 'say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say,' and he never gets to the f*n point. Do you see the irony?
Taylor appears confused. Oh, no. I don't, I don't like to iron. She giggles.
Oh, sweetie. It's a good thing you're so talented and you have beautiful hair and...Robyn eyes Taylor's long sultry legs...Ever consider dating a woman half your height and twice your age?
Slightly shocked but ever-graceful, Taylor composes herself for a response. Well, I'm actually very happy with my current sweetheart, Calvin. She takes a few small steps back, further from Robyn.
No. There's more to life than dating the boy on the football team.
Do you have any words of wisdom for insecure writers, sweetie?
Taylor smiles proudly and looks at the camera. You can write a book about how to ruin someone's perfect day. That seems awfully anti-Taylor Swift of you. I thought you were going to belt out that profound song you wrote. You know, with all kinds of deep, insightful lyrics: 'Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.'
Sure. Taylor smiles, then launches into Shake it off! Shake it off! Shake it off!
The curtains drop, blocking Taylor from view and we cut to a commerical.
Colour Me Swiftly has arrived! With two Amazon reviews and an average rating of 2.5 stars, take a look at this adult coloring book:
We hope all this nonsense makes you more confident in your craft. If not, shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it....