And I Wrote This Book.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

After the Fallen Matzo Ball / Halloween Reminder


Alas, back to me and George...I'd let the matzo ball slip out. Though momentarily terrorized, George quickly composed himself and acted as though nothing happened. I played "Let's pretend" too. But after a wonderful trip to Tahoe, I couldn't control my tears. We sat on his sofa for a talk...
George Costanza | Mockingbird
I faced the door, eyes down, ready to make a grand escape if he said the wrong thing or - more likely - didn't say the right thing. Slowly, I began explaining that I was worried I had stronger feelings for him than he did for me.

"Well," George paused, "When you said you love me, did you mean it? Don't you think it's too soon?" 

Gulp. "Well, I mean, I do say I love you to the postman, but" --my voice dropped-- "I'm starting to fall in love with you, yes." 

George held me somewhat warmly, somewhat tentatively. I nervously eyed the distance between us and his front door. 

"I can't take any more hurt," I shared. "I can't tell you how painful the whole thing was with my ex-husband." I looked directly at George. "I'm getting really scared that I care more about you than you do about me. You never say anything."

He sat quietly. Sh*t! I thought, starting to wriggle away. "I'm going to just go now."

"Why?"

"Because you're not saying anything now either. Why would I stay involved when I have feelings that you don't?"

"Yeah, I probably could be more expressive." The mood shifted. "I'm starting to feel that way," George confessed. "Just give it some time." George rubbed his hand up and down my back. "Have faith," he whispered.

I leaned against his chest, wiped a tear, and said "okay."

-to be continued.
 ----------------------On a completely different note, my annual Halloween reminder: 
PLEASE BOYCOTT HERSHEY'S!! Hershey's gets its chocolate from the West African Ivory Coast, where children are exploited and tortured on cocoa plantations. Hershey's is well informed of this, yet it continues to do business there. This monstrous company monopolizes almost all of the standard cheap candies too. So boycotting them means boycotting Mars, Brachs, Godiva, etc. etc. My best suggestions: (1) Give out mandarins, and kids will never visit you again; (2) Buy fair trade candies, more expensive but you'll sleep easier; or (3) shut out the lights so nobody comes knocking. 
Thank you! Take care, and have a sweet week.

41 comments:

  1. Robyn, my beautiful intelligent daughter once told me women have 4 times the emotional range of men. That means 75% of the time we have no idea what women are feeling and it's often a bit of a shock when we find out. We do fall in love --sometimes even when nobody's around, which confuses us and we say, "dang, I got the goldurn emotions."-- but yes, given time, we eventually figure it out. When George asked for some time, I suspect "Okay" was the perfect reply. You're a lovable person, Robyn, and a kind one.

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    1. Well, thank you. My kind, lovable friend.
      You know, we can spell it out, pronounce each syllable, and give thorough comprehensive power-point presentations, but the male species remains clueless to this day. It's how you survive, right?

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  2. Sigh.
    Heartfelt hugs and oceans of caring.
    And hooray for Fair Trade chocolate.

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  3. Dang it, George wanted you to have faith, yet I have no faith 'cause the back hair on George Costanza will now haunt my dreams.

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  4. I am unfortunately giving away Nestle products, despite the fact I despise their CEO who thinks water shouldn't be a right but a privilege. Ugh. Since you and George are no longer, I have a feeling the last chapter is going to be sad.

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  5. Option 3, check, got it. That had to have been an uncomfortable conversation, but you navigated those choppy waters adeptly and with class. When my spouse and I wanted to declare love, we were both so reluctant because of our mutual fear of abandonment that we had a rationalized conversation about if we were in love and decided very logically, that yes, we could consider this to be love. We have yet to be so logical since and it has been a beautiful ride.

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  6. OK. No Hershey's or Hershey's-related brands. No trick-or-treaters here, but still NO HERSHEY'S ANYMORE. As for George, I'm pleased with his reaction but look forward to how YOU dropped his sorry ass anyway (it's all about his social conscience).

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  7. I have to figure that faith was misplaced since George hit the curb, unless you are hiding him in the basement or something. With that back hair I can't say I'd blame you lol

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  8. Good question, Pat! Are you hiding George in the basement? Is that his punishment for fumbling the I love you?

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  9. Ugh. Relationships are one landmine after another, aren't they? That's a rhetorical question, of course.

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  10. gotta have faith - that's a George MIchael song and look how that's turned out for him. What is it about the name George? You are telling your story well, if that helps. As for Halloween - I eat all the candy myself and turn out the lights. I'm a twizzler gal - hope they are okay. Boo to you for the week (evil laugh), and not boo hoo. Take care

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  11. I'm a "turn off the lights and ignore the children" kind of guy, but I still don't buy Hershey's after you mentioned that the first time. Plus, as I always say, the quality just sucks compared to the upscale stuff.

    Also, the I love yous - the wife said it first. I said it right back. I've learned not to be so guarded with my emotions or scared of feeling things. That, and women HATE when they pour their hearts out and you say nothing. That has just never worked in any man's favor ever.

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    1. Never. It's practically ensured the extinction of the male species. Good thing lots of men have learned this - if only by realizing it's the better option than having to endure hours of hysteria.

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  12. George is tough. I would have caved at the first sign of a tear and would be putty in your hands. I just don't do cold and aloof very well even when I try.
    I'm on board for Hershey's sins. Luckily we are so far out in the boonies we rarely get Halloweeners, but get plenty of chocolate just in case.

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  13. Why do we always fall in love first and so easily?

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  14. Give the guy a little time.....he's not a communicator....could be he's had some hurt himself that is holding him back. Patience.....

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  15. I have often said "I Love you" first and could hear crickets. men get all weird because they then think you are Glenn Close with a rabbit. Later, I thought, screw you men! If a man can't show those emotions and goes all squirrely then you can piss up a tree as my dad used to say:) My hubby told me in about 1.5 months that he loved me. I liked that and said the same-now we both said this over an answering machine but we said it and meant it. I did not know this about Hershey's and that is disgusting. I am going to find out which chocolates and candies they don't deal with and go from there

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  16. Relationships can be so complicated. And I really understand about being hurt. I hope you never experience pain again. *hugs*

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  17. I turn off the lights and hide in the back of the house on Halloween. I don't have any Hershey's in my house. What brands of chocolate are okay to buy? I don't have a lot of time to read because of my editing, but I am reading your book. It's great.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. It's so migraine inducing to research this, Janie. It always comes down to the fact that there are very, very few candies in the US that are safe to buy. But some of the bigger companies, though not entirely fair-trade, do have fair trade items. This includes Hershey's. They have a fair trade Dove chocolate, which isn't easy to find. Cadbury has a fair trade, Dagoba is all safe, Black and White is. Divine - maybe. If you find a "Fair trade" label, it's good.

      Thanks so much for reading. I hope you find it worth your time, Janie. xo

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  18. "Give it some time" is basically admitting the bells aren't quite going off. Comfortable with not much possibility of growing. As you know, I have read the book, and I don't blame you for having "relationship PTSD". And I don't blame you for having that trigger it. And maybe if George wasn't just fine with comfortable, he'd have realized what it was doing to you and been a man about it.

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    1. Have I ever told you that you're awesome and I luv ya, CW? You're awesome and I luv ya! Thank you!

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    2. Aww... You just say that 'cause it's true ;)

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    3. Haha. Glad you know I speak and write the truth.

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  19. I don't give out chocolate on Halloween because I'd be tempted to eat it all.

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  20. Being in the same place at the same time as another in a relationship is often a difficult task. I can understand your sadness and reluctance to continue seeing someone who isn't reciprocating with the same feelings.
    As for Halloween, we leave the lights off and don't pass out candy anymore. Very few kids go around in our neighborhood anyway.

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  21. That conversation sounds quite a bit more promising than I expected. And as for Halloween, there is almost no trick or treating in New Zealand, so no worries from us. We do the turn out the light option.

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  22. Give out mandarins?
    GREAT GOOGLI MOOGLI, do you know how expensive Chinese bureaucrats can be?
    I'll hand out pennies or ketchup packets, instead.

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    1. Oy vey, Al? More pricey than rabbis?
      Can you spare a few ketchup packets?

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  23. The thing is, when it's right, you both know it. You don't have to question or anything like you. You just know, like you know about a good melon.

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    1. Thing is, Spooky, I've mis-judged many a melon. I lift it, feel it all around, squeeze, inspect the color, and decide it's the perfect melon only to learn upon slicing it open that it's rotten.

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    2. You decide after much inspection. But what I'm talking about is instinct, but be fair, I was raised to believe that when I met my husband, that I would just know.

      Either way, you are a brilliant catch and if this guy isn't the right one, then I believe you will find the right one. And it won't be about guessing games or who likes/loves the other more.

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  24. Since I know how this ends, this installment just makes me sad. Kind of like CW said, I wish he'd just spent a bit of time looking inside himself to know his own heart. Or maybe he did and didn't want to admit what he already knew. But to tell you to have "have faith" seems particularly misleading.

    Reading this made me think of two separate scenes in two different TV shows. Did you watch the pilot for Mad About You? I'm going to assume you did. So, Paul ran into Jamie at the newsstand, she dropped her dry cleaning ticket, he picked up the clothes, and brought them to her office. In the course of that, they both realized there was *something* there. That brings you to the place of do I jump or not. She decides to jump, but says, "This had better work out because I just can't take being hurt again." Fortunately, Paul went easy on her heart and it did work out. You, my friend, need a Paul.

    The other scene/show that came to mind was Grey's Anatomy. I think it was Season 2. George was in love with Meredith, but dating a nurse. Of course, he and Meredith were never going to work out because she was in love with Derek (and he with her). But, even so, George knew this nurse was really falling for him, so he broke it off. What he said was this: "I really like you, but I just don't like you enough." And there it is. You can't make yourself love someone because they are super nice. Super cute. Or super anything. You either do or don't and it has be an all in sort of feeling. And if it isn't, it is your obligation to tell them you like them, but not enough. That stings for a while, but you get over it. It's the hanging on for something that's never gonna happen that really hurts.

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  25. I did see the Mad About You pilot, Robin. It's been ages, so I appreciate the reminder.

    You said it - either you're in love or not. Some people (e.g., George) try so hard to be in control of everything, including their emotions, that they're not able to clearly access their feelings or are simply scared to. Stay tuned. There's a lot more to the story, though it doesn't last much longer.

    I appreciate your thoughtful response.

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  26. That's a great reason for me to quit fighting with the Milky Ways at the checkout counter! Thanks for the FYI.

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  27. Sorry things didn't work out between you and George. The word Love can scare many guys.
    Ah I remember the Hershey's boycott. Thankfully we don't have them here. However, no doubt some other exploitative product next on the shelf.

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  28. I would say that this is a good sign if I didn't know the end story. I'm nervous to find out what happens after this...

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