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Sunday, August 2, 2015

Happily Ever After? Trashing My Wedding Dress!




Wedding Day, 7/1/07

I wrote this bit in 2010, and I've posted it once or twice...

   "As wonderful as things are at this moment," Rabbi Wyse promised, "it will get even better, better than you could ever imagine."
  Touched by these words, I stood teary-eyed with my new husband, an expansive rainbow colored stained glass window accentuating our loving aura. It was indeed a magical day, and a delectable future beckoned entry.

  The months and years to follow, though? Not so much. Okay, when does this happily ever after thing kick in? I wondered, as life plummeted into a miserable abyss. How could a man of the cloth be so off base?
  More recently, however, I learned the wisdom behind those words. The Rabbi was right, after all. It would get even better than I ever dreamed it could be. I just didn't realize it would take so long after the marriage, and the divorce, to find my happily ever after.

 
This is the wedding dress, blemished by my chocolate drunkenness during a book cover photo session. (See previous series.) I never expected it to be so fun. And after a long drive home (with my chocolate wedding dress in a bag and me in more normal clothes), I tossed it into its rightful new home:
 
With my arms out-stretched in a victory "V", I alas had the happy, healing ending to that chapter of my life and book. 


Have a peaceful week, dear sillies, and take care of yourselves.

Posted by Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com
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51 comments:

  1. Elephant's ChildAugust 2, 2015 at 10:57 PM

    The very best and most reliable Happy Ever After arrives when/if we learn to stop looking for someone else to make it happen. Which is not to say that happy ever after is alone, just that we are the driver not the passenger.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 8:01 AM

      I knew you'd word your comment just right. You always do. Thank you, EC.

      Delete
  2. Geo.August 3, 2015 at 12:37 AM

    Peoples' true relatives are scattered all over the universe and don't always number among immediate kin. There is harmony to tend to. From acquaintance with your writings, I believe we are contrapuntal relatives. You have a strength beyond mine and I wish I grew up knowing you. Who knows, maybe by this electronic seance, I am doing just that. All best wishes on your book sales --and how can I get an inscribed copy?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 8:03 AM

      You're so sweet, Geo. I'm not convinced I'm stronger than you. I think we could both kick some tuchas.*

      *Yiddish for butt, but you probably knew this.

      Please email me re a signed copy. I'm honored.
      Rawknrobyn@aol.com. Thank you!

      Delete
  3. Rhonda AlbomAugust 3, 2015 at 12:49 AM

    Now I wonder what ever happened to my wedding dress. Not the one to my current hubby, that one I have, the one to my first husband . . . the one that didn't stick. I never had the fun of making a chocolate mess out of it. Good on you.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 8:05 AM

      This made me wonder, too, about how many brides' wedding dresses lasting longer than the marriage. And why hold onto it?
      Thank you, Rhonda.

      Delete
  4. BlogorattiAugust 3, 2015 at 1:42 AM

    Good on you really, and best wishes to you always!

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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 8:06 AM

      I appreciate your wishes, Blogoratti. The best part is, it wasn't planned. I hadn't thought about what I'd do with the dress, didn't even think I'd add more than one chocolate stain to it. Smiles.

      Delete
  5. Pat HattAugust 3, 2015 at 2:21 AM

    Time for new beginnings and let the past go in the trash

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  6. Jeremy [Retro]August 3, 2015 at 2:54 AM

    Things do get better with time, you can grow... blossom from a wreckage and find the true self. Staring at empty walls, eventually makes way for a new picture or even a mirror... and you find you... all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  7. sageAugust 3, 2015 at 3:40 AM

    A sad story that many of us can relate to... I went back and looked at a piece I wrote in 2009 about my divorce... Sad times, but glad you are doing well and look forward to your book.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 8:09 AM

      Divorce is hell. It seems as though nobody talks about it, yet everyone does it. So you assume it's not too bad. Not so. Sorry you went through it too, Sage.

      Delete
  8. Alex J. CavanaughAugust 3, 2015 at 3:47 AM

    I bet trashing that dress was a release!
    There is a happily ever after, just not always what we expect it to be.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Plowing Through Life (Martha)August 3, 2015 at 4:09 AM

    I can totally relate, Robyn, as you well know. Sometimes the happily ever after goes hand in hand with blessed divorce! Trashing that dress must have been great closure for you. I don't remember what I did with the one from my first marriage, maybe donated it or trashed it. But if I could do it all over again, a bonfire would have been fun :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 8:10 AM

      Oh yes, a bonfire would be great. I'd bring the s'more ingredients.
      Smiles. Thanks, Martha.

      Delete
  10. JoJoAugust 3, 2015 at 5:00 AM

    Sadly, this is the road that I see for my stepdaughter who is getting married in January, unfortunately. And in my case it took 30+ years for my happily ever after to finally show up and tell me how he felt all that time.

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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 8:11 AM

      Your story is very sweet. Sometimes it takes a lifetime of experiences to know that it's worth it to take a chance on something/someone with real potential.

      And it's incredibly frustrating when you know someone is naively walking into a trainwreck. Sorry, JoJo.

      Delete
  11. L. Diane WolfeAugust 3, 2015 at 6:29 AM

    Destroying and throwing away the dress must've been very therapeutic.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 8:12 AM

      The happiest ending I could've put on that chapter. Thanks, Diane.

      Delete
  12. Misha GerrickAugust 3, 2015 at 6:29 AM

    I can sort of relate on my parents' parts. They're both happy. Just not together.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 8:12 AM

      I have a lot of friends with similar situations. The happily often doesn't come until after the divorce. Thanks for stopping by, Misha.

      Delete
  13. JonoAugust 3, 2015 at 10:03 AM

    I started your book yesterday, but only got 1/4 of the way through because I had to spend most of the day mowing pastures. I hope to get through the wedding part tonight.
    So far, I am liking it a lot. I knew I would.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 11:25 AM

      Woohoo! I'm smiling. Thank you, Jono!

      Delete
    2. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 11:25 AM

      PS I'm not smiling about your mowing pastures - just to clarify.

      Delete
    3. JonoAugust 5, 2015 at 8:30 AM

      P.S. You looked beautiful in that dress. :)

      Delete
  14. BirgitAugust 3, 2015 at 10:29 AM

    What a great end to that chapter to you life. You tossed away the old and look forward to the new that, I hope, will still have chocolate...just not on the dress:)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 11:26 AM

      As long as I'm still breathing and don't develop a life-threatening allergy, there will still be chocolate, Birgit. Thank you.

      Delete
  15. Baby SisterAugust 3, 2015 at 12:43 PM

    Good for you! I'm sorry it took so long and that you had to go through so much, but I'm glad you found your happily ever after.

    ReplyDelete
  16. CWMartinAugust 3, 2015 at 2:17 PM

    Men of the cloth like to give the hopeful Schmaltz. It'd be cool if they were required to say what they really thought of the "happy couple".

    And yes, divorce does suck. It's like a crater from an explosion. It gets better when you fill it in, lay a new foundation and build a better house.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 9:29 PM

      Nice symbolism and schmaltz, CW. I like it. You're a wise friend.

      Delete
  17. stephen HayesAugust 3, 2015 at 2:44 PM

    You found a wonderfully symbolic way to put closure on a bad relationship.

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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 9:30 PM

      I hadn't even tried for it. The photo team was the best. Thanks, Stephen.

      Delete
  18. JoanneAugust 3, 2015 at 2:56 PM

    Your book, your words, your blog and blog friends, and your love for life shall keep the happily ever after evolving. You have a zest and a zing!

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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 9:31 PM

      That makes me feel really good, Joanne. Thank you for the praise.

      Delete
  19. BBAugust 3, 2015 at 4:29 PM

    Go you! We have to always look forward. Great things are awaiting us. Now I'm waiting on the lottery!ol

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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 3, 2015 at 9:32 PM

      Me too, Barb. But I guess you can't win the lottery if you never buy a ticket. Is that right? There's always a catch.

      Delete
  20. Theresa MahoneyAugust 3, 2015 at 7:33 PM

    What a freeing feeling that must have been!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Empty Nest InsiderAugust 3, 2015 at 10:49 PM

    Just popping in to say how excited I am for you, Robyn! I'm so sorry that I didn't get here sooner. I love your book cover, and I applaud your bravery in tossing the dress! You've really outdone yourself with this book, Robyn! It really makes me appreciate being a slow reader, because I can savor every page.

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 4, 2015 at 7:54 AM

      Thanks so much, Julie. I know it's hard to read a book on the screen. Plus it's a long one. I appreciate your plowing through. I appreciate your efriendship even more.

      Delete
  22. ConnieAugust 4, 2015 at 12:59 PM

    The end of that dress signifies a new start. Good for you! I have just started your new book and am enjoying it so far. (I knew that I would.) :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 4, 2015 at 1:55 PM

      Thanks so much for buying and reading it, Daisy. May it be an uplifting and meaningful read. =)

      Delete
  23. A Beer for the ShowerAugust 4, 2015 at 1:30 PM

    I love the shot of the wedding dress in the dumpster. I'd like to picture a raccoon now wearing that dress as he nibbles out the chocolate stains, creating his own happily ever after.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 4, 2015 at 1:56 PM

      I'd love to see that, BnB. It could almost fit a big (or medium sized) raccoon.

      Delete
  24. Gorilla BananasAugust 4, 2015 at 2:52 PM

    Wow, Robyn, I think you've just inspired me to smear my old circus pantaloons with chocolate and throw them to the crocodiles! But maybe I'll lick them clean first

    ReplyDelete
  25. AnonymousAugust 4, 2015 at 3:14 PM

    Hah, that's awesome!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anthony J. LangfordAugust 7, 2015 at 12:45 AM

    It's final resting place. Glad you got some extra life out of it.

    xo

    ReplyDelete

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