Sunday, August 2, 2015

Happily Ever After? Trashing My Wedding Dress!




Wedding Day, 7/1/07

I wrote this bit in 2010, and I've posted it once or twice...

   "As wonderful as things are at this moment," Rabbi Wyse promised, "it will get even better, better than you could ever imagine."
  Touched by these words, I stood teary-eyed with my new husband, an expansive rainbow colored stained glass window accentuating our loving aura. It was indeed a magical day, and a delectable future beckoned entry.

  The months and years to follow, though? Not so much. Okay, when does this happily ever after thing kick in? I wondered, as life plummeted into a miserable abyss. How could a man of the cloth be so off base?
  More recently, however, I learned the wisdom behind those words. The Rabbi was right, after all. It would get even better than I ever dreamed it could be. I just didn't realize it would take so long after the marriage, and the divorce, to find my happily ever after.

 
This is the wedding dress, blemished by my chocolate drunkenness during a book cover photo session. (See previous series.) I never expected it to be so fun. And after a long drive home (with my chocolate wedding dress in a bag and me in more normal clothes), I tossed it into its rightful new home:
 
With my arms out-stretched in a victory "V", I alas had the happy, healing ending to that chapter of my life and book


Have a peaceful week, dear sillies, and take care of yourselves.

54 comments:

  1. The very best and most reliable Happy Ever After arrives when/if we learn to stop looking for someone else to make it happen. Which is not to say that happy ever after is alone, just that we are the driver not the passenger.

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    1. I knew you'd word your comment just right. You always do. Thank you, EC.

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  2. Peoples' true relatives are scattered all over the universe and don't always number among immediate kin. There is harmony to tend to. From acquaintance with your writings, I believe we are contrapuntal relatives. You have a strength beyond mine and I wish I grew up knowing you. Who knows, maybe by this electronic seance, I am doing just that. All best wishes on your book sales --and how can I get an inscribed copy?

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    1. You're so sweet, Geo. I'm not convinced I'm stronger than you. I think we could both kick some tuchas.*

      *Yiddish for butt, but you probably knew this.

      Please email me re a signed copy. I'm honored.
      Rawknrobyn@aol.com. Thank you!

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  3. Now I wonder what ever happened to my wedding dress. Not the one to my current hubby, that one I have, the one to my first husband . . . the one that didn't stick. I never had the fun of making a chocolate mess out of it. Good on you.

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    1. This made me wonder, too, about how many brides' wedding dresses lasting longer than the marriage. And why hold onto it?
      Thank you, Rhonda.

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  4. Good on you really, and best wishes to you always!

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    1. I appreciate your wishes, Blogoratti. The best part is, it wasn't planned. I hadn't thought about what I'd do with the dress, didn't even think I'd add more than one chocolate stain to it. Smiles.

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  5. Time for new beginnings and let the past go in the trash

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  6. Things do get better with time, you can grow... blossom from a wreckage and find the true self. Staring at empty walls, eventually makes way for a new picture or even a mirror... and you find you... all the best.

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  7. A sad story that many of us can relate to... I went back and looked at a piece I wrote in 2009 about my divorce... Sad times, but glad you are doing well and look forward to your book.

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    1. Divorce is hell. It seems as though nobody talks about it, yet everyone does it. So you assume it's not too bad. Not so. Sorry you went through it too, Sage.

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  8. I bet trashing that dress was a release!
    There is a happily ever after, just not always what we expect it to be.

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  9. I can totally relate, Robyn, as you well know. Sometimes the happily ever after goes hand in hand with blessed divorce! Trashing that dress must have been great closure for you. I don't remember what I did with the one from my first marriage, maybe donated it or trashed it. But if I could do it all over again, a bonfire would have been fun :)

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    1. Oh yes, a bonfire would be great. I'd bring the s'more ingredients.
      Smiles. Thanks, Martha.

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  10. Sadly, this is the road that I see for my stepdaughter who is getting married in January, unfortunately. And in my case it took 30+ years for my happily ever after to finally show up and tell me how he felt all that time.

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    1. Your story is very sweet. Sometimes it takes a lifetime of experiences to know that it's worth it to take a chance on something/someone with real potential.

      And it's incredibly frustrating when you know someone is naively walking into a trainwreck. Sorry, JoJo.

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  11. Destroying and throwing away the dress must've been very therapeutic.

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    1. The happiest ending I could've put on that chapter. Thanks, Diane.

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  12. I can sort of relate on my parents' parts. They're both happy. Just not together.

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    1. I have a lot of friends with similar situations. The happily often doesn't come until after the divorce. Thanks for stopping by, Misha.

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  13. I started your book yesterday, but only got 1/4 of the way through because I had to spend most of the day mowing pastures. I hope to get through the wedding part tonight.
    So far, I am liking it a lot. I knew I would.

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    1. Woohoo! I'm smiling. Thank you, Jono!

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    2. PS I'm not smiling about your mowing pastures - just to clarify.

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    3. P.S. You looked beautiful in that dress. :)

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  14. What a great end to that chapter to you life. You tossed away the old and look forward to the new that, I hope, will still have chocolate...just not on the dress:)

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    1. As long as I'm still breathing and don't develop a life-threatening allergy, there will still be chocolate, Birgit. Thank you.

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  15. Good for you! I'm sorry it took so long and that you had to go through so much, but I'm glad you found your happily ever after.

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  16. Men of the cloth like to give the hopeful Schmaltz. It'd be cool if they were required to say what they really thought of the "happy couple".

    And yes, divorce does suck. It's like a crater from an explosion. It gets better when you fill it in, lay a new foundation and build a better house.

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    1. Nice symbolism and schmaltz, CW. I like it. You're a wise friend.

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  17. You found a wonderfully symbolic way to put closure on a bad relationship.

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    1. I hadn't even tried for it. The photo team was the best. Thanks, Stephen.

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  18. Your book, your words, your blog and blog friends, and your love for life shall keep the happily ever after evolving. You have a zest and a zing!

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    1. That makes me feel really good, Joanne. Thank you for the praise.

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  19. Go you! We have to always look forward. Great things are awaiting us. Now I'm waiting on the lottery!ol

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    1. Me too, Barb. But I guess you can't win the lottery if you never buy a ticket. Is that right? There's always a catch.

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  20. What a freeing feeling that must have been!

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  21. Just popping in to say how excited I am for you, Robyn! I'm so sorry that I didn't get here sooner. I love your book cover, and I applaud your bravery in tossing the dress! You've really outdone yourself with this book, Robyn! It really makes me appreciate being a slow reader, because I can savor every page.

    Julie

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    1. Thanks so much, Julie. I know it's hard to read a book on the screen. Plus it's a long one. I appreciate your plowing through. I appreciate your efriendship even more.

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  22. The end of that dress signifies a new start. Good for you! I have just started your new book and am enjoying it so far. (I knew that I would.) :)

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    1. Thanks so much for buying and reading it, Daisy. May it be an uplifting and meaningful read. =)

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  23. I love the shot of the wedding dress in the dumpster. I'd like to picture a raccoon now wearing that dress as he nibbles out the chocolate stains, creating his own happily ever after.

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    1. I'd love to see that, BnB. It could almost fit a big (or medium sized) raccoon.

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  24. Wow, Robyn, I think you've just inspired me to smear my old circus pantaloons with chocolate and throw them to the crocodiles! But maybe I'll lick them clean first

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  25. It's final resting place. Glad you got some extra life out of it.

    xo

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