Monday, August 17, 2015
Reasons for Celibacy #351-359, The Smartas and the Assman
It's time again to check the unfiltered, germ-infested waters of the dating pool and thereby affirm my reasons for celibacy. Here are said reasons, #s 351 through 359. Please enjoy. Keep a smile and a stash of chocolate.
REASON #351: what does a guy got to do to get a gril
Depends what kind of gril you want, babe. If you’re looking for the kind with a motorized rotisserie, for thoroughly heating meaty breasts and thighs, try Home Depot. But if you want a standard cheap and easy, warm-‘er-up-and-plop-it-into-a-bun model, Walmart’s a sure thing.
REASON #352: Do you think my tractors sexy
Judging from the fact that I can’t see it at all, and I don’t have a microscope handy, I’m going to go with a solid “no.”
REASON #353: Im a smartas...
Smart as what, buddy?
REASON #354: Hi their
REASON #355: If you are out there? I am here…
Sorry, honey. I am here, and you're way out there.
REASON #356: Let there be cake!!!!!!
Now we’re talking!
REASON #357: headlines dont work.????
Such clever ones too.????
Alas, a man with a good sense of humor:
REASON #358: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
Note: He appears easy on the eyes, and he’s younger than me (that would be a refreshing change), but he wants kids AND nothing serious. Talk about an (oxy) moron.
REASON #359: Don't half ass two things...whole ass one thing
Write more later
I think you just half assed one thing, assman.