Monday, November 25, 2013

The Actual, Original Song of Thanksgivukkah!

Never again in this lifetime will we be able to celebrate the convergence of Thanksgiving and Hanukah. So, in honor of Thanksgivukkah, there are many songs zipping through the Internet. I haven't found one that tells the true story of how Thanksgivukkah came to be, nor have I found one that's sung to the tune of  the Gilligan's Island's theme song. Thus, I created this.I hope it's informative. Enjoy. (?)
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Get fit, not crack, and I’ll spin a tale that’s as wacky as they get. It started when Christopher’s Mother asked, “Why aren’t you married yet?”          Maccabee Chorus: Why aren’t you married yet?

I’m not sure why. I’m nice and all, but I can’t attract a babe.

I’ve tried Jdate and Plenty ’o Fish. Had no luck; I can’t get laid.

Maccabee Chorus: Poor lass, he can’t get laid.

Hush, my son! Don’t speak such things! A Bubbeh[1] I must be. 
So find a gal and marry her. Then next, go spread your seed.

Maccabee Chorus: Then next, go spread your seed.

I searched through Spain and the Promised Land, but nothing seems to work. 
I don’t like bars or techno-raves. 
Mom, I can’t even twerk.

Maccabee Chorus: Poor lass can’t even twerk!

Then build a ship and search the world. Not a corner shall you miss. You’re 45 years old, my son. 
Now come give your Mama a kiss.

Maccabee Chorus: Boy, go give your Mama a kiss.

Columstein sailed with the Pilgrambergs, and dreidle they did play. Within 8 days, they hit Plymouth Rock. 'Twas a miracle! Oy vey![2]

Maccabee Chorus: 'Twas a miracle! Oy vey!
They ate and ate and ate some more. Turkey latkes[3] were first rate. Then Chris winked at Pocahantusky and asked her for a date.

Maccabee Chorus: He asked her for a date.

He IM’d Mama, who said, “Mazel Tov![4]”. You can guess what happened next. 
Columstein and Pocahantusky were sharing risqué texts.

Maccabee Chorus: They were sharing risqué texts.

So we celebrate all miracles, and give thanks for all we’ve got.

Were it not for bold and brave rebels, We’d be one sorry lot.

Maccabee Chorus: We’d be one sorry lot.
 

Now go enjoy Thanksgivukkah. And do your very best 
to make the most of what you need, 
and share all of the rest.

Maccabee Chorus: And share all of the rest.

Happy Thanksgivukkah...There, where-ever you’re smilin’!

[1] Jewish grandma. We all love them. We all need them. I miss my two Bubbehs.
[2] Nothing says “oy vey” like “oy vey.”
[3] Potato pancakes. Traditional Hanukkah food.
[4] Congratulations and good fortune.

I forgot a couple footnotes, and I don't know how to slip them in without messing this all up - as if it's not already messed up (in more ways than one). Truthful info:
The Maccabees were a small band of Jews that fought and won a battle against the Egyptians/Syrians for religious freedom. Dreidles are the spinning tops we play with on Hanukah. Hanukkah begins on Wednesday night.
On both holidays, we celebrate miracles; religious freedom, and all the freedoms and blessings we take for granted in our privileged segment of the world. It's sentiment we can all embrace, so Happy Thanksgivukkah to you!

36 comments:

  1. Tears---Tears of laughter,: Happy Thnksgivuukka! Love you my Friend!

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  2. To the tune of Gilligan's Island - that made it!
    The two combined are awesome though.
    Happy Thanksgivukkah, Robyn.
    You rock.

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  3. Happy Thanksgivukkah to you also! I loved this. Actually think I'm related to the Pilgrambergs. Ha!

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  4. Oh, I like your lyrics so much better than Gilligan's! Hilarious!

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  5. This has to be the earliest Chanukah that I ever remember! Cute song too!

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  6. One of your best ever, and that's saying a latke! Have a wonderful Thanksgivukkah Robyn!

    Julie

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  7. "Mom, I can't even twerk!" Hahahahahaha. Love the Pilgrimburgs too.

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  8. haha that was great, risque texts win in the end

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  9. I laughed all the way through this. It is very funny. I'm picturing a Jewish Columbus and Polish Pocahontas exchanging risque texts. I'm with Pat Hatt on that. It wins.

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  10. Very funny and quite clever. A fun post to read. Take care.

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  11. You are hilarious and creative!! Happy Thanksgivukkah!!

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  12. Very creative! Happy Thanksgivakkuh.

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  13. Oh my gosh! You're crazy funny!!!

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  14. What a masterpiece, will have to share Friday night at my house when I will be celebrating Thanksgivukah with friends!

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  15. Really fun Robyn. Have a fun Thanksgivukkah! Since there's no Thanksgiving in New Zealand, we will only be lighting the candles.

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  16. Oh clever, clever you. I'm in a coffee shop just giggling. May God's love and chocolate surround you this holiday.

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  17. Ahahaha! That was amazing, and so are you! Happy Thanksgivukkah, Robyn. :D

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  18. I still can't believe it's Thanksgivukkah again already. I still haven't taken down my Thanksgivukkah lights from last time.

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  19. So funny and so creative! And who doesn't love that Gilligan's Island tune? Thanks so much for the Thanksgivukkah laughs! :-)

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  20. How marvelous! Chris and Pocah founding a new tribe of Jewish Indians (although Chris isn't a very Jewish name, it must be said). Their first born son might become a Jewish Indian Medicine Man with his own TV comedy show!

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  21. lol
    We don't celebrate ThanksGiving here but i understand enough about it to have a giggle.
    Well done Robyn x

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  22. Just so incredible Robyn, it's amazing how these events both being on the same day will never swing around again for a long long time. PS I have been trying to work out a reply to your lovely email for ages. I just don't have a non loser way to say that I don't have Pay Pal or even know how to get hold of one. If iPad has a Kindle App I could maybe wait until Christmas and download it onto my iPad instead, but yeah like I say I feel like a loser haha. Have a happy Thanksgivukkah!

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  23. “oy vey” After reading and almost singing this, I'm ready for a three hour cruise or be in never ending reruns....

    Gary :) x

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  24. Absolutely hilarious!!!

    Have a great Thanksgivukkah!!

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  25. omg, you're so clever!

    Happy Thanksgivukkah, Robyn!!

    xoxoxo

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  26. Can Hanukkah carolers be far behind?

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  27. Thank you, that gave me a nice little chuckle!

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  28. Thanks for all the holiday cheer. Enjoy the season. Stay safe, warm, and well sated with chocolate.

    love,
    xoRobyn

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  29. ROTFLOL That is so funny. You come up with the craziest stuff. Happy Holidays to you.

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  30. Ahaha - that's brilliant!

    I was right in there, singing along. Very clever Robyn and very funny.

    Oy vey!

    x

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  31. I just popped over from Keith's Optimistic Existentialist blog.
    Love your blog.
    Rick, your latest follower.

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