And I Wrote This Book.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

On Being Tied Up: Woman on the Verge of Paradise

Hi, friends. I hope your week is going well. I'm sorry I'm extra slow at making blog-rounds these days. I'm scrambling to finish the first draft of my novel, Woman on The Verge of Paradise. It's raining over here, but I can see the light; I'm almost there. But they all say that editing is the hardest part. Crap. I hope they're all liars. Anyway, enjoy a short snippet. Be well.
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      Phil and I met through a mutual friend in the late 90s. A warm, gentle soul, he endeared me immediately.
     As we rolled lustfully across my living room carpet one evening, I invited Phil to spend the night.
     “Sure, yeah, but we won’t have sex,” he responded.
     “Okay, not tonight...Or do you mean not ever?”
     “I don’t know.” He sat up, breathed heavily, and looked down towards his lap. “My last girlfriend,...she tied me up. I just, it was scary.”
     “Okay, it’s okay. We won’t use rope. Don’t worry.” I stroked his face lovingly. “Do you want to talk about it?”
      Stupefied, he didn’t respond. After a seemingly endless bout of quiet, I gave him a hug. He slowly departed, looking down at his shoes. I recoiled into a familiar state of confused relief, and called it quits —with apologies— the next day.

April 2, 1999 

Dear Diary, Shit! Am I the only adult virgin left in this world besides Gary Coleman?[1] I’m scared of sex, but I’m more scared of not having sex. Not ever. That I’ll die first. What’s wrong with these men? What’s wrong with me?


[1] Gary Coleman had announced his virginity to the world back then. Poor guy. He was such an adorable talented child actor. Gary's fate is too despairing for a footnote here. At least he didn't die a virgin (I assume). May he rest in peace.

39 comments:

  1. She tied him up? Literally? And that was a problem? Wait, did I say that out loud...?
    Poor Gary Coleman.
    And editing is the easy part.

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  2. No one should be tied up as part of a sex game unless they want to be, and even then only with someone you know exceptionally well and trust completely. As for editing, it might be hard but for me it's the most enjoyable part of writing, like sanding a rough piece of wood or adding frosting to a cake.

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  3. This novel is going to be hilarious. When you start getting into sex stories... hilarity ensues. She tied him up and now he might never have sex again.... hahahaha.

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  4. What you talkin bout, Robyn! LOL!

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  5. No comment. Every comment I've put down I've had to delete. I laughed at Alex's response. .

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  6. I dunno if I followed this post entirely, but all I do know is when a blog title has chocolate in it and then there is a reference to tying up, I'm quite sure this is like the Pleasure Palace of blogging.

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  7. You are really good with dialogue and conflict. I bet your novel is a page turner! Best of luck and stay with it. No worries about our blogs. You've written many good comments in the past and they are not forgotten.

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  8. Sounds steamy, Robyn, and funny, too. How do you manage that? Haha...

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  9. Geez, all she did was tie him up? If she brought out a whip, than maybe lol

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  10. I'll be in line to read this novel when you release it into the world!

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  11. Hmmm, I sense a lot of hotness to come. Tie me up, Tie me down! -I loved that movie. :)

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  12. Your comments make me laugh. Thanks, everyone.

    Alex, LOL. I really didn't understand his trauma. But he was very much traumatized and, yes, not wanting to ever have sex again. Thanks for telling me editing is the easy part. I've been desperately wanting to get to the editing phase.

    Stephen, good point, and sensitive of you too. Thanks for your input on editing.

    Robin, it certainly didn't endear me to him.

    MsA, I loved his pudgy little face when he said "What you talkin bout Willis?" Thanks for the smiles.

    DG, no need to censor yourself around here, but I understand. I often delete my comments and/or writing. Thanks for visiting.

    Julie, you're good for my ego. I'd gladly claim this spot as the Pleasure Palace of blogging. But I'd need to go x-rated.

    Thanks so much, David.

    Martha, I just write the truth about my pathetic sex (er, celibate) life.

    Pat, yeah, the only thing he confessed to was string. I don't know about any other toys or tools.

    Deb, thank you.

    Yvonne, no, you'll have to read 50 Shades or another book for hotness. Well, I do have one hot scene.

    Be well, friends. I really appreciate your feedback.

    xoRobyn

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  13. I am running late on reading too, also working my first draft for NaNoWriMo. I love humor, can't wait to read more. And I hope Alex is right about editing being easy.

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  14. LOL well I think there MUST have been more to the story that he wasn't telling.

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  15. Hi Robyn,

    Never apologise about making the blog rounds. As long as you comment on mine, who cares about the rest of them. Oops, I'm kidding. I think I'm kidding! LOL

    A bit of a rope and a "WIP", perhaps. I regained my virginity.

    "Whatcha talkin bout Willis?" Then again, maybe Gary, as in Gary Coleman, not this Gary, had "Diff'rent Strokes"....

    I think I'd better go now.

    Gary, as in this Gary :) x

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  16. Oh Lord, I don't know if I'm laughing harder at the Gary Coleman reference or Alex's comment. I definitely want to read this story.

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  17. The Ninja Captain has such a quick wit too. I'm honored to have brought it out of him a time or two.

    xoRobyn

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  18. Head desk. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Love it!

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  19. Amazing extract Robyn, I really want to buy your novel as soon as possible, the diary entry really made me laugh.

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  20. I'd assume Gary Coleman died not a virgin too, lucky bloke!

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  21. Well, now I want to read more! Good luck with the writing and editing! :D

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  22. A bit funny and a bit sad. I wonder how long he stayed tied up and if he had to gnaw his way out.

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  23. Really? I am one day late reading and everyone one already here.

    As for the editing...how bad can it be? You are an excellent writer so there shouldn't be much anyone would want to change.

    I can hardly wait for the book. Call me skeptical but a guy that is rolling around on the floor with a girl, is made an offer of staying and he rejects it...RED FLAG...MAJOR RED FLAG.

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  24. It would be fun if you hosted a "Where Are They Now" party to see what happened to these men from your past. I also can't wait to read your book Robyn!

    Julie

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  25. Writing is always a valid excuse for not making rounds. Always.

    Also, I always find it amusing when people take out their past relationship/sexual problems on new partners. Without getting graphic, I once dated a girl who, when about to approach that topic, stopped and said, "Okay, here's a list of things I won't do. I won't do this because my last boyfriend made me feel bad about it. I won't do this position because I once dated a guy who could only get off that way and I felt degraded. And I won't do this angle because a guy once told me I look weird from that perspective."

    So I was like, "Okay, here's a list of things I won't do. You." And never talked to her again. Sorry, but that sounded like way more hassle than it was worth.

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  26. Well, I'd say its a good thing she found out early on that he is a wimp in the bedroom. You certainly don't want to get stuck with someone who can't stand to be tied up every now and again, eh? Where's the adventure in that!?

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  27. Your comments are classic. Thank you! I'm still laughing at BnB's and Theresa's. Pat T, too...all of you. You're the best band of followers. Thank you!

    xoRobyn

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  28. Ropes? I can't see it.
    Bungee cords, perhaps.

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  29. That very special episode of Diff'rent Strokes about bondage during sex was very powerful.

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  30. Yeah, I'm with DG on this one...

    Bless you!!!

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  31. A very intriguing snippet! (Your novel has a great title, by the way.) I think the heroine should thank her stars that she and Phil didn't do the rumpy-humpy, I mean make love. What if she became pregnant and passed on his sissy genes? She deserves better. With you as her fiery godmother I know she will find better.

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  32. You're doing great with your draft, and I'm sure you'll be finished in no time. Revising may be hard, but it's way easier than creating a whole story on a blank screen. Be proud of yourself for doing that, rest a little, and then dive into the wonderful world of revising! :-)

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  33. RIP Gary - such a shame.

    Anyway, editing is the fun part! Embrace it - it's long lol

    Is this the shortened version? Feels a bit rushed. I wanted to know more! God I hope there's a happy ending to this novel..
    Get it...
    Happy Ending?

    haahaha

    xo

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  34. Oh I am SOOO excited to read this novel. That guy...he sounds like he's gonna be single for life. Good luck with the editing!!

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