Tuesday, November 5, 2013

An Open Letter to Martha Stewart: IWSG


First Wed of Every Month

Alex J. Cavanaugh founded the IWSG to provide a safe venue for expressing our vulnerabilities and offering each other support. We're posting on the first Wednesday of every month. Please check out Alex’s blog to visit others’ posts. It’s an inspiring, fun group. Join us, if you haven't already! All that's required is an insecurity or two hundred.

In case you hadn’t heard, on October 13, when asked during an interview [here] if she thinks the social media is “a bit in poor taste,” Ms. Stewart replied that she has a “gripe” about that because "‘Who are these bloggers?’ They're not trained editors and writers at Vogue magazine. I mean, there are bloggers writing recipes that aren't tested, that aren't necessarily very good or are copies of everything that really good editors have created and done. Bloggers create kind of a popularity. But they are not the experts and we have to understand that."

My contribution this month is an open letter to Martha Stewart.

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Hey, Martie,

It’s Robyn – the little Jewish lady and schlocky dresser who interviewed you on June 3. We share an affinity for cucumbers, remember? That interview’s here. Anyway, I’m adding my response to the pile of hate you’ve received for your comments about the social media and, specifically, your attack on bloggers.

My gripe with you, aside from that mole protruding from your cheek and the morbidly dark roots sprouting from your ever inflating head, is the hefty gap that you maintain between yourself and humanity.

Who are those bloggers? you ask. Well, Mats, there are an estimated one billion of us. Surely, some of that billion have expertise. In fact, a portion of bloggers are blogging your recipes and craft ideas. Oh, and Martha, I visited your blog. {Psst, you’re one of those bloggers.} I suggest changing the title of your “Quintessential Autumn” post. Nobody has used the word “quintessential” since Jane Austen. She's been dead for a while.

You are correct, however. Many of us do have poor taste. We like it that way. Not to boast, but I’m fairly skilled at potentially offending large segments of the population.  Though I wish I was as savvy at exhibiting poor taste as some very popular blog friends, like Bryan Pedas at A Beer for the Shower, whose posts make anyone with a sense of humor spew bodily fluids that would propel you into cardiac arrest. Or Pat Hatt, whose creative and tactless rhymes have his following soaring well above 2000. There are also smaller bloggers like AlPenwasser, one of my favorites. He does offensive like nobody’s business. And,..I could go on.

Alex's Insecure Writer’s Support Group is over 300 strong. Alex knows, as do the rest of us, that the social media is about a give-and-take. It’s about connecting. We do this by acknowledging our lack of expertise, because being human means accepting our vulnerabilites. It also means laughing at absurdity and, well, people like you. Ultimately, though, it's about heart.

Despite his exceptional success as an author and blogger, Alex will readily say that he has no expertise. He’s just one of us. Whatever our individual strengths and weaknesses, my network of bloggers and I support each other through it all. That’s why we blog and keep blogging, and why we’ve formed a presence in cyberspace so strong that you’re threatened by us. We do it because we care about each other. We do it because we aren't experts of the upper echelon who spend weekends abroad riding horses in Northern France.

Though we wouldn’t mind a smidgen of your vast riches, Marts, we won’t sell out for any of it. We don’t care what we wear or if we can afford to buy an ounce of Ralph Lauren cologne. We’re just good people who boost each other through the struggles of writing and living in the real world. We're nothing like you, and proudly so. You, Ms. Stewart, have to understand that.

43 comments:

  1. So funny - and so true. I've never quite understood the attraction of people who follow "stars" or anyone with a supercilious attitude around like dogs in heat. We're all just people; each have our own talents and everyone's poop stinks. ;)

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  2. Most of us can manage our lives very well without Martha's input. In fact most of us can do it and stay out of prison which is more than I can say for Martha.

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  3. I would love her to read this Robyn because it really shows her, I love how just because she doesn't know bloggers she's able to tar them all with the same brush. The beauty of the internet is that for bad or for good it allows all people to have a voice and that is never a bad thing.

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  4. Cheers, Robyn!! That is the most awesome thing you've ever written here. You told her! That's right Mart, we aren't the experts - but we are the masses. Be very afraid...

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  5. I do not like that woman or her shoddy craft products that are taking over Michael's Crafts and pushing out all the old brands. I've looked at her blog and her recipes and I'm sorry, they're just not that good.

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  6. Your post freakin' rocked girl!!! And I agree with David, if Martha was such an expert she wouldn't have spent time in the stony lonesome.

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  7. This was fantastic, Robyn. You truly took the meaning of IWSG and ran with it. This post wasn't just funny, it was inspirational. It was one of your best!!! I love it!

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  8. I never thought I'd live to see the day when "Martha Stewart" and "A Beer for the Shower" would be mentioned in the same breath. Isn't that one of the signs of the Apocalypse?

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  9. Oh and incidentally, I used the word "quintessential" just last week (*supercilious sniff*).

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  10. haha put her in her place. And yeah screw all the fancy clothes and smelly crap, even if I had her money I still wouldn't buy that garbage

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  11. Smack down on Martha! She doesn't realize the power of bloggers.

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  12. Bam! Obviously, her own personal (ahem) setbacks didn't reap a harvest of humility for her. Sigh-- it's all about the karma. ;)

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  13. Well, Mrs. Penwasser has poor taste in men.
    I still don't get it.

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  14. Like anything there are good bloggers, bad bloggers, and bloggers nobody knows about because nobody reads them. It takes all kinds to make a world. Just like all media. Anymore I find blogs to be as credible and have as much quality as anything other media platform.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  15. The thing is....the way these "stuck up as tampons" effete snobs did things is becoming as relevant as typewriters.
    Mrs. Penwasser still has poor taste, though. And may be a little insane.

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  16. Martha needs to be rushed to the burn ward because you really zapped her.

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  17. So where do we sign your letter so we can send it to Marty? Like a petition. Yeah...not too thrilled with MS (even though we have the same initials).

    This was wonderful, Robyn. Thanks for the rant!

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  18. Awesome post Robyn. Martha is a bitch. Plain and Simple. And her products suck. Poor quality and cheaply made. And I highly doubt she comes up with ever single craft idea and recipe from her books and magazines herself. Pot, meet kettle.

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  19. Hey, don't forget Brandon Meyers. I'm only half of this mess of spewing bodily fluids.

    Wait... that sounds awful...

    Anyways, a great post and a great point. We don't claim to be experts either, but you don't have to be experts to be entertaining. Just like you don't have to be experts to be a good cook or craftmaker. FYI Martha, as a guy who's been cooking for 12 years and prides himself on his dishes, I can promise you that the best recipes are always from recipe blogs or mommy blogs. Foodnetwork.com and marthastewart.com recipes are usually bland and tasteless. My advice? Stick to shooting glitter out of your va-jay-jay.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uzNOQUlCdM

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  20. Fantastic! I hope you linked this to her on Twitter :)

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  21. Martha's riding around on her high horse again. Good for you to knock her off of there. :)

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  22. LOL... You go girl! And we bloggers stick together. Who is she anyway....

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  23. Well, that tells her, doesn't it? Thank goodness for bloggers, I say. Makes for an interesting world!

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  24. Who is Martha Stewart? If I knew who she was, I might be bothered to insult her.

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  25. Sorry, Brandon. You're an awesome half of the Beer4theShower team! Great advice, guys, for Martie.

    Theresa, straight to the point. I agree.

    Debra, I need to look up "supercilious."

    David and JustKeepinIt, why is it that the public discards the fact that she's a known criminal? Those or us who are enlightened do not.

    Alex, thanks so much. Glad you liked it.

    GB, she wouldn't ever lower herself to visit the jungle, so I'm not surprised you don't know her. Ignorance is bliss in this case.

    Thank you all.
    You're the best, and I love ya.
    xoRobyn

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  26. That was quite the smackdown. hahahaha.

    Since she has a blog of her own, a person would think she's appreciate the forum. However, I suspect her blogging is not two-way. I am sure she doesn't have time to read anything not written by Herself. So, she really isn't a blogger at all. She just has website that engages in self promotion. Totally different thang. It's why she doesn't get it...

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  27. Exactly, Robin. She closes off comments on her blog, thus it isn't a real blog.

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  28. Well. I guess you told HER! (Yay, you!) Well said, kiddo.

    However, I DO like the word "quintessential"...

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  29. I honestly have tears (of laughter) in my eyes!!
    Thank you so much for defending all of us little (and bigger ;) guys.

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  30. Amazing letter. I hope she does read it.

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  31. Down with Stewart and Austen!

    Just because others never made it to the mainstream doesn't mean shit - it just means they didn't know a publisher or agent or weren't related to them..(or sucked dick)

    The more I research this ridiculous industry, the more I realise that many talented people never ever make it, and idiots do, because of aforementioned accessibility. Especially when they come out with crap like that - i htink they really beleive it.

    The older I get, the more I believe in expressing oneself regardless of exposure (had to think this way) and forums like this allow - afterall - how would i know the wonderful Robyn!

    and yeah, there are many crazy talentless fuckers out there.. but not all...

    Fuck that bitch.. sorry, but they really piss me off... some ppl are better selling themselves than others.. and talent oft has naught to do with it... two seperate talents...

    You have taste dear - and ability - otherwise you wouldn't have so many supporters after all this time. Your posts are brilliant.
    Never met you but love you to death.
    xo


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  32. OK, you had me at "Hey, Martie"
    BRILLIANT post! When I saw the interview...well, I was not at all shocked. She has always had a blatant air of indignation against any poor shlub who dared think they were on HER HIGHNESSES level and that of her Hoidy Toidy compadres. I've have had a bone to pick with her ever since My Martha Stewart Blanket (a gift) DISINERGRATED in my dryer! It took me days to clear the vents. Puh on you Martha, PUH!
    Blessings, Joanne

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  33. This is so funny, but also very true. At least the bloggers are being authentic. Perhaps she could learn something.

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  34. Love it......and You, my friend. Another great BLOG post!

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  35. I'm sure after reading this Martha would face an unfamiliar dilemma... she'd be speechless! Does your toast go better with red or white wine?!

    Julie

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  36. you know being non American I have never really 'got' the Martha Stewart thing. What does he do bake crappy cakes or something. That is when she isn't banged up in jail.

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  37. This is a very well written post. Bravo to you!

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

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  38. What an elitist bitch she is. Sadly she thinks having money makes her classy. I would say a having a little integrity and humility would serve her well.

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  39. There was a pic circulating on Facebook of Martha Stewart with guest Snoop Dog. The caption read: One of these two celebreties is a convicted felon. I had to laugh at that.

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  40. I came by hoping for one if your famous interviews, BUT this was so much better. Way to go, telling the Queen of Whatever just how it is. Real people are into connecting.

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  41. love it! great post, robyn!
    ouch, and i posted a link to her blog today about a tortillas soup!

    big hugs~
    xx

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  42. Seriously? She said that?? That was the perfect response, Robyn. Very well put.

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