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REASON #268: Single as a Pringle
Judging
from your photo, you’re Macho as a Nacho.
Might
you also be Free-to Lay tonight?
REASON #269: The one word that was not on the personality
list that suits me is - Renaissance, or versatile, or flexible.
The
one response I have that suits you is this-
(1) You
spell good, but
(2) A
woman wants a man who knows the difference between 1 and 3. (Hint: It’s 2.)
REASON #270: I GOT THE
INTERNET GOING NUTS! & IM
A VIRGIN
Interesting. Your bio says you
were in a 10 year relationship. Does he/she know about this?
REASON #271: I am me and
no one else...
Be
glad you’re not me, honey, because if you were, you’d be running away from
yourself.
REASON #272: Sunglasses indoors. Is
that not cool?
Yes.
It is not cool.
REASON #273: Searching
for a woman with low standards
I have blue eyes and a big nose, gsoh and very honest.
She might just be right under
your nose, by gsoh. You just can’t see her. Try stepping back, hold your gaze,
and move your head from side to side. If that doesn’t work after 18 hours, snort out a ginormous booger and give up.
REASON #274: A real lady
who is seen and not heard
Hm, can you see the finger I’m
silently flashing while mouthing the statement: “You’re a misogynistic pig, you
f*kn bastard!”?
REASON #275: DISCLAIMER:
No cats, dogs, goldfish, chickens, insects, bacteria, minerals, illegal aliens
or vegetables were harmed, maimed, mistreated or tickled in the making of this
profile
What do you think of, say, a
woman who has a strong affinity for cucumbers and bananas (typically, one at a
time)? Just wondering.
REASON #276: I've
come to the interruptation
that finding a girlfriend off this website is unrealistic.
Public
interruptation is not advisable for those who wish to find a girlfriend in
this lifetime on the Internet or in this universe.
#275 might have actually gotten me to give him a chance. I do love a man with a sense of humor... which is why I married the guy who put on his dating profile "Why? I figured it's what Eddie Money would do"
ReplyDeleteSingle as a Pringle?
ReplyDeleteBetter to go with Lays.
They have ridges for her enjoyment.
Hilarious, simply hilarious.
ReplyDeleteoh god. so horrible. *shaking a little*
ReplyDeleteThat last one is sad.
ReplyDeleteAnd what the heck is a gsoh?
Hahahahha... love this one.
ReplyDeleteREASON #271: I am me and no one else...
Be glad you’re not me, honey, because if you were, you’d be running away from yourself.
You should sell your witty chip remarks to Pringles -- they could build a whole advertising campaign around them!
ReplyDeleteOh Al, Ruffles have ridges!
ReplyDeleteYep. More than enough reasons here for why I'm (blissfully) single! :)
ReplyDeleteLOL you know if he was a light pringle you better avoid, they have something in them that causes anal leakage
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA They are pretty bad aren't they? lol
ReplyDeleteVery funny. I'm off to eat some chocolate and think about this.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. This is, once again, hilarious and overwhelmingly depressing.
ReplyDeleteOooo it's so hard to just choose one of them. Gsoh what's a woman to do?!
ReplyDeletethe booger line was a bit of a pant wetter xox
ReplyDeleteHey Robyn,
ReplyDeleteYes, it's me, the dude who is in every time zone but the one he evidently lives in.
Your thinking is definitely lateral, Robyn. And no, not like lateral, as in lateral the ball or balls. Then again.
A cucumber on the pillow. A banana might be a peeling. Must go now and watch a banana split while slicing a cucumber.
Gary :) x
Oh my gosh. I'm still laughing.
ReplyDeleteAs for 274...hello? Can you hear me cracking up over that statement? Here, have a blow up Barbie doll. Should be perfect for you. Have fun.
Cute, Robin.
Sia McKye Over Coffee
These are all a hoot, especially after you add your comments to them. But, hey! Not a single French model in the bunch! (Bone jure.)
ReplyDeletesay what???? that was crazy good!
ReplyDeleteI thought you started the list with the worst one and then...I read on. YIKES!
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Joanne
I don't know pringles stick together.
ReplyDeleteThey need some space
Single as a pringle... bahaha! Where do these weirdos come up with this!??? Hahaha!
ReplyDeleteThe big-nosed guy doesn't sound too bad for a woman who doesn't mind big noses. Maybe he looks like Barry Manilow. There seem to be words missing after "very honest" though. I think he forget to add "pet raccoons".
ReplyDeleteYou had me at "free-to-lay!" I remember collecting Frito Bandito erasers when I was a kid, but that was probably before your time.
ReplyDeleteJulie
Love this as usual Robyn, hilarious stuff. The guy who said a really lady should be seen and not heard is an idiot though, just moronic!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha...yes, reasons for celibacy! Your remarks about the 'nose' one had me roaring with laughter! Hahaha...
ReplyDeleteI kinda want to meet the guy with the interruptation, cuz I had one once and it was nuts getting rid of it.
ReplyDeletePearl
I've come to the interruption that these ads (and your reaction to them) are hilarious. Celibacy seems the only logical reaction after reading those. Geesh.
ReplyDeleteOh-oh...my blog profile picture shows me wearing sunglasses. Glad I'm not on the dating scene anymore. Too much of a hassle.
ReplyDeleteLee
Tossing It Out
Miley, that's a good one and so is he. I'm glad you got each other.
ReplyDeleteAl, men don't need ridges, huh? See KeepinItReal's comment. She knows her chips.
Pat, eww. I believe it.
Alex, gsoh, I don't know.
Debra, if only I liked Pringles.
David, glad you liked it. Hope you did laundry.
Gary, all that talk about a peeling cucumbers and bananas and pillows is driving me nuts. Nuts. Did I say nuts?
Adam, true, else his headline makes no sense. And that cannot be. Right?
ReplyDeleteGB, he is kind of endearing. Barry Manilow, that is. Went to his concert many years ago. I was in love.
Julie, surely it wasn't before my time. I don't remember them, though.
Pearl, I'm sorry to hear you were inflicted with chronic interruptation. I hear treatment involves applying the right mix of punctuatation.
Arlee, yes they are not cool. But you are.
Thanks, all, for adding to my laughter.
You are very fun and silly.
Keep a smile.
xoRobyn
Oh my! It's definitely scary out in the dating world. Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteLOL gave me quite the laugh :)
ReplyDeleteOhMyGosh, I'm still laughing :)) I can't believe people really put this stuff out there!!!! And the commentary is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI am really hoping against all odds that this isn't a true representation of what is "out there" to pick from. If it is...I would think celibacy is a gift.
ReplyDelete#272 might be Corey Hart. He wears them at night, why not indoors?
ReplyDeleteI seriously think men get worse and worse every time. What does gsoh even stand for? ;) I would be flipping off number 274 as well. And a lot of other not so nice things. Get with the times, this is the 21st century.
ReplyDelete