And I Wrote This Book.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Interview with Ben Affleck: IWSG's 2 Year Anniversary!

First Wed of Every Month 
CELEBRATING TWO YEARS!
THANK YOU, ALEX!

On the first Wednesday of every month, we express our insecurities and offer each other encouragement. Join us, if you haven't jumped aboard. All that's required is an insecurity or two-hundred. 
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 Robyn: Ladies and gentlemen, today, we welcome one of the biggest names in the business. He's a screenwriter, actor, and director with an Oscar to his name, and he's best known for having broken off his engagement to Jennifer Lopez! Let's give a warm welcome to Ben Affleck! 

The camera zooms in on Matt Damon, giving a big "thumbs up" to buddy Ben, and Jennifer Garner, clapping lovingly for her husband. The other 200 audience members fell asleep when Robyn announced today's guest.

Robyn remains seated in her comfy chocolate-colored fabric chair, as Ben strolls in wearing blue sweats, gray Nikes, and a white T-shirt. He approaches the front of the stage, and stops at a wheelchair.  Robyn giggles. I'm sorry, Ben. When I told the stage crew you were doing today's show, they said something about you being too old to play the caped crusader and rolled this out here for you. I think it's funny because, well, you're not THAT old. I mean, you're 41, younger than me. Just more boring. Anyway, have a seat. Ben shrugs and sits in the wheelchair.

Robyn: Thanks for being here.

Ben Affleck: Sure thing, Robin. Trouble ahead, Robin. To the bat cave with me, Robin. He chuckles, amused by himself. Just practicing.

Robyn: Yeah, funny. So there's a great amount of harsh criticism. Even Richard Dreyfuss is upset that you were picked. Nobody's happy, really, except Snooki. I've gotta admit, Ben, I'm not either. My problem with you being chosen to play Batman is that you're boring. 

The cameraman shifts the camera towards the audience. Matt and Jennifer are now asleep. We re-focus on Ben, who appears to be reading a book that he has propped up on his lap. He scratches his head. The camera zooms in on the book's title:"How to Get a Personality When You're an Over-Aged Pretty Frat Boy Who's a Mediocre Actor and - Ok - a Good Director With a Chiseled Chin But No Other Redeeming Traits But You've Been Chosen to Play Batman and Everybody's Mad as Hell About it Except Snooki for Dummies, Part I".

Robyn: So, Ben -

Ben: Yeah, what's up? He tosses the book aside.

Robyn: Today's the second anniversary of the IWSG. I want to talk to you about being multi-dimensional, because you're not. But I'm coming out with some pretty dark stuff about my past and all. I even did an interview for a local radio show today on depression and suicide. It doesn't get more intense. And I'm writing a piece for a local newspaper on that topic too. But I feel  insecure about going so dark, when I want to continue to make people laugh. So, I figured you'd present a good contrast to the multi-dimensional thing.

Ben is now devouring spoonfuls of a pint of ice-cream labeled "Ben and Jenny's Plain Old Boring Vanilla".

Robyn: Well, listen, it's been...um, see ya. Robyn points Ben towards the back exit.

Ben nods, places the ice-cream container between his knees, and wheels himself off the stage.

Robyn yawns. Folks, I just want to say something that you already know. Maybe it's just something I need to remind myself of. It's good to have more than one smidgen of a dimension. Boring is bad. Don't hesitate to write anything and everything that comes out of you, from humor to horror, so long as you don't bore. Human beings are complex entities. At least, all but one of us is. 

If you do pay money to see Ben as Batman, buy some Junior Mints or, if you're Alex, Hot Tamales, to stay awake during his speaking and acting parts.

Thanks for tuning in!
Excuse me while I go home and take a nap now.

45 comments:

  1. I also can't see Ben Affleck as Batman. Congrats for speaking out on such a difficult topic on the radio. I admire your courage, and can honestly say that you are never boring. Have a happy and healthy New Year Robyn!

    Julie

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  2. I can't say anything about him being boring since I'm sure I've got him beat in the boring department.

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  3. Poor Ben. He's probably a pretty nice guy, but stellar actor he is not. I don't really care if he plays Batman since I never watch them. I loved the 60s TV version though. Those were awesome! :-)

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  4. I'll get two boxes.
    Although I don't mind him playing Batman.
    Don't be afraid to go dark. Your humor will balance it out.
    Congratulations on the interview, although I'm sure it was challenging.

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  5. Those who have never felt pain cannot truly treasure the gift of laughter. You are multi-dimensional, Ben? Not so much, even vanilla outshines him.

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  6. You gotta watch out for those "boring" ones. Maybe he and Jennifer have a secret red room of pain.

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  7. Ha this is a riot. Of course it totally makes sense that Robin would interview the latest Batman!

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  8. Poor Ben!

    It takes guts to push ourselves to that point, but we have to. To feel truly alive, one must take risks.

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  9. Who can forget Bennifer? I remember when they broke up and he did a skit on SNL with all the t-shirts and their nicknames on them. Hilarious, just like this!

    I love to challenge myself and write all different genres.

    Elsie

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  10. He'll be fine as Batman because the bat cowl will cover most of his face and no one will see that his expression never changes no matter what emotion he's allegedly trying to portray. It's when he's Bruce Wayne that it will be unbearable because then we'll have to actually look at him.

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  11. I agree with Ms. A's comment. I, too am a boring person so I really shouldn't judge. I am holding out hope he does well as Batman just to prove himself. He seems like a nice enough guy. I like the idea of a person not in the tabloids being outrageous but being a good dad and husband. Yay!!!

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  12. Robyn,

    I absolutely love your interviews and look forward to them. This one was no different. "Ben and Jenny's Vanilla" was too much. You had me chuckling the entire time.

    And we are multi-dimensional, aren't we? Especially those of us with MPD.

    Great post!

    M.L. Swift, Writer

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  13. I had no idea he was chosen to play batman. But isn't Batman kind of boring? I mean once you get past all the caped crusader stuff, he's just a rich kid trying to deal with childhood issues. ;)

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  14. LOL! I can't believe all the hating going on over Ben being picked to play Batman!

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  15. Can go anywhere at my lair, the cat has no fear. And yeah he seems like a meh batman. But it can't get much worse than Batman and Robin.

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  16. Shanah Tovah, Julie! Thanks so much.

    MsA, I don't believe you.

    Lexa, I love the old ones too, grew up on them. "Holy cow, Batman!"

    Alex, thank you. I appreciate it. Enjoy the Hot Tamales.

    Jacque, you said that so well. Thank you. I've been thinking about that sentiment, and may need to quote you - couldn't articulate it better.

    JustKeepinIt, I wouldn't be surprised.

    Dee, thank you. I always liked Robin better, if only because of his name.

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  17. "Just practicing" <----That seriously cracked me up!!!!

    Robyn, you are too awesome. What an entertaining post. Gosh, I need to come here more often with celebrity guests! ;-)

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  18. I won't be among those climbing out onto a ledge because Ben Affleck is gonna play Batman.

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  19. I kinda like Ben. I probably wouldn't have a problem with him playing Batman, but wasn't he already Daredevil? There needs to be a limit there. Only one superhero per actor please.

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  20. Robyn you are so funny. Just remember, talent isn't everything if you look good. Some movies are worth watching for their eye candy value.

    That being said, your more serious note was very well taken. I agree-- allowing our different sides to show is what adds depth to our writing, heck to our humanity. Sometimes the underbelly of our hearts ain't pretty, but it's a part of us.

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  21. Do you think he was more interesting when he was engaged to Jennifer Lopez? At least he appeared in South Park as the goof who fell in love with Cartman's hand puppet.

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  22. Great post - and it's encouraged me to be more daring on my blog too.

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  23. The thing about Ben Affleck is that he seems like a really nice guy but he is so boring, his relationship with Jennifer Garner is just so perfect and while I guess that's a good thing nothing ever seems to happen in their lives. Sad that he's had such backlash for the Batman thing but really it's sad they picked him in the first place, he's just too boring to be Batman, he really is.

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  24. Hahaha...I love your sense of humour!

    I don't think he was the right person for this part, but he might surprise us. Probably not, but we'll see.

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  25. This post had me chuckling all the way through.

    Now, on to the "meat"... Yes, a good story isn't afraid to explore all sorts of ground.

    Love it!

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  26. OMG, an instant classic! Love ya Robyn!!!

    JBoy

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  27. Ben Yawnfleck will not be getting a single dollar from me, especially as Batman.

    Don't hesitate to write anything and everything that comes out of you, from humor to horror, so long as you don't bore.

    It sounds like this post was meant for us, as that's exactly what we're doing with our new horror book next week. You spying on us again?

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  28. I'm glad I'm late to comment so no one will read this except maybe you Robyn. I like Ben. He's boring? I don't know because I never follow actor's lives.

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  29. They say the people who have been through the most pain in life are the funniest. :)
    You can always come back to the jesters. We will still be here! :)

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  30. Ben didn't do so well with that Daredevil thing, so I'm skeptical. Then again, I never would have thought that Heath Ledger would make such a great Joker. OMG, what am I doing? My inner nerd is showing.
    I better go surf for porn, STAT!

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  31. Morgan, I appreciate your awesomeness too. Thank you.

    Theresa, yeah. He was Daredevil.

    David, it's good that you and David (and possibly Stephen) like him. He needs some folks cheering him on.

    Thanks, Julie. Beautiful words.

    Deborah, great to meet you.

    YW, yes. Exactly. Thanks for agreeing and making me laugh.

    Thanks, Martha and Robin. Yes, no vegetarianism around here.

    John, love backatcha now and always. Wink.

    BnB, no. I just like the alliterative and ironic factors to "humor and horror". I wish my life were so exciting that I was spying on you.

    Dawn, aw, thank you. It means a lot.

    Al P, too nerdy indeed. How was the surfing? Did you get all wet? (Eww, sorry. Bad joke. You're rubbing off on me. Eww again..Quit it, Al!)

    xoRobyn

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  32. PS Dee, I can't figure out how to comment on your blog, even when I try registering with Disqus. Can you give the option of commenting as a guest??

    PPS, All, I always attempt to comment on everyone's blogs when they've visited mine, but I'm computer-challenged and don't understand all the google+, Disqus, etc. weirdness. I'm appreciative of everyone who makes it easy to comment simply by typing and posting a comment, without having to subscribe or register for something.

    Thank you! =)

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  33. Yo Robyn!

    Ah Batman and "Robyn", what a dynamic duo. Holy interview!

    Ben Af**k, um Ben Affleck, was seen in South Africa getting his Batman costume. Somebody told him he had to buy his clothes in Cape Town.

    And Robyn, my homie and I, da dawg, had every faith in you with your interview. To challenge yourself, to work through the pain, to speak from the heart, took courage and many will be touched by your transparency. High paws to you, my human friend.

    Stay chillin',

    Snoop Bloggy Dog in da Gangsta's Pawadise! x

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  34. Oy, Deborah, I meant you and David. David, I meant you and Deborah. LOL.

    GB, yes. When he was with JLo, there was one spicy personality between them.

    Snoop and your Homie, thanks. You're pawsitively the best.

    Thanks, all.
    Keep a smile.

    xoRobyn

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  35. Hahahaha... Poor Ben. you really raked him over the coals.

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  36. Boring is bad. And Ben bores me too. And his nose bugs me. It's so pinched.

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  37. I won't admit what happened after I surfed. But, I DID place a yellow stickie on my computer monitor's camera just in case the NSA was spying on me.
    Oh...my...I said 'stickie.'

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  38. How stickie is the stickie, Al, and how did you make it stick? I can't believe I asked you that. Never mind. Go about your private business in private. ;-)

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  39. This was the bomb, Robyn..or Robin. I, too, think Ben is boring and I am quite upset that Christian Bale has been replaced so soon. I rather favored him as a sexy and very HOT Batman. No drooling here over Batman Ben. Ugh.

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  40. I just sick of all the redos or remakes or reboots or whatever they want to call them. Let some years go by before having a new person in the role. Isn't it odd how in Daredevil he was blind and had bat like abilities so he knew where things were and now he will be Batman and can see?

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  41. I'm not going to give him any crap until I see him in the movie. I figure that's fair. He's married to a kick-a girl!! He better do it right...

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  42. I really don't mind him playing Batman, but really, how many movies are the going to make?

    Good one Robyn!

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