A life by chocolate entails finding sweetness in the light and dark. Moreso, it's about addiction to cocoa. An insatiable sweet tooth doesn't hurt. Well, not until the yucky tartar buildup and stuff. To the point, I strive to entertain with topics such as the utter hilarity and cuteness of children; the challenges of dating, my related rationale for celibacy; and chocolate as a precious remedy for it all. Thanks for sampling Life by Chocolate. I hope you keep coming back for more.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Top 10 Dating Ads from 2012

                                        a perplexed Bachelor Ben courtesy of google images

As 2012 comes to a close, Life by Chocolate proudly (or, in this case, shamefully) presents a series of the year's Top 10.  Today, we're looking back at the best of the worst dating ad snippets. I hope this brings laughter.  

In reverse order, here they are:



10) I,m well grounded
And so is your apostrophe.

9) I am attending the local junior collage in town.
Keep attending, babe. Keep attending.

8) New in town and ready to get in!! Sounds sexual. Judging from your shirtless photo and delightfully chiseled abs, I’d like to invite you to do so. I mean - clearing throat and composing self -  good luck to you, sir. Have a nice day.

7)  what does a guy got to do to get a gril Save $100. Visit Walmart’s Patio and Garden department. They should be able to assist you from there.

6) for leisure; i like to go for walks at the park i also like to ride my bike there on the bike baths or just have a nice panic by the lake.
Sounds lovely, darling, but I prefer to have nice panics in private.

 5) I'm distrustful of gnomes.
I’m distrustful of men who are distrustful of gnomes.

4) You can call me Jim (no it's not MY name) but, it's only fair since I call everyone "Jim"

3) Lets play in traffic
Okay, you go first!

2) pork  
No thanks, I’m Jewish.


THE CLEAR WINNER:

This one, I'm not touching.

1) I'm a Clyde looking for my Boney

CONGRATULATIONS, Mr. Clyde! We’d like to offer you your Boney, but we can’t do that here. Good luck on your search.

23 comments:

YeamieWaffles said...

While I love all of these the tenth and last ones are both my favourites although the tenth one is only so good due to your hilarious "so is your comma," line while the first is funny because of the sheer idiocy of spelling Bonnie as "Boney," great post Robyn, I love this.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Someone should tell grill guy that a grill is much cheaper to maintain than a girl anyway.
I remember most of those. How scary is that?

Terra said...

These are always so funny! I love the well grounded best still.

Pat Hatt said...

LOL what a flock you always find, many seem to have less than half a mind

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

Reminds me of that song from Urban Cowboy, Lookin' for Love in All the Wrong Places

David Macaulay said...

ho ho - I had to chuckle big time at the guy looking for a gril xo

Ms. A said...

I remember these and your comments make them ALL great!

Gorilla Bananas said...

You're so right not to touch the Boney (which might go off in your hand), but I think you should give the gnome-phobic guy a chance. How much of a sacrifice would it be to avoid gnomes for the rest of your life?

Stephen Hayes said...

Lots of funny here. I hope poor Clyde finds his Boney, or at least the spell check button.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

YW, thank you. Yeah, I'll never forget the sheer idiocy of "Boney."

Alex, true. But he probably wouldn't know the difference between a gril and a girl. Sorry for re-posting. It was bad enough the first time.

Terra, thanks.

PatHatt, less, much less.

IT, I think about that song a lot too. Wonder why ?!

David, poor guy will never quite find what he's looking for.

MsA, thanks. They make mockery rather easy.

GB, you are always (or sometimes) very rational. Good point. But gnomes can be cute.

Stephen, I hope he finds spellcheck. He could be dangerous if he finds his Boney.

Thanks, all. Keep a smile.
xoRobyn

Al Penwasser said...

I think #10 could use a Verbal Viagra.
So he could get his apostrophe up.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Good one, Al. And if he keeps it up, he might have some luck with the ladies.

xoRobyn

Ruth said...

6- What's a bike bath? Would not the bike rust?

Yvonne said...

Bahahahaha! Last one, clearly the winner! Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving!

Empty Nest Insider said...

You always liven up these losers with your witty comments! I would've loved to see you interact with Bachelor Ben!
Julie

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Julie, thank you. I would've taken scissors to that dude's hair. It's awful!

Yvonne, yeah, it took no time for me to declare a winner.

Ruth, a bike bath is for bikes averse to showering..? Um, I got nothing. Be well.

Keep a smile, friends.
xoRobyn

Melissa Bradley said...

You know they are arrogant enough to not see the problem with their presentation which is basically "I am Man and I am here." They're probably also thinking "Why don't these grils and bitches want to have sex with me?"

lbdiamond said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Going to tweet this, LOL!

Rosalind Adam said...

Hilarious but sometimes I can't help but feel sorry for these poor blokes!

Chuck said...

Those are all still great!! Your number 1 is still out-loud funny. Please keep posting these...I feel so much smarter every time I read one of these lists.

Baby Sister said...

Hahaha. 8 and 7 were by far my favorites.

Anthony J. Langford said...

Haha - missed this one - phew, what a cracker! There's been some great ones all year.
The internet is a wild place, that's for sure. I was never scared of the general populace until now - thanks for that Robyn! lol
xo

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Thanks, all. So long as their are men to mock, you can count on me!

xoRobyn