As 2012 comes to a close, Life by Chocolate proudly (or, in this case, shamefully) presents a series of the year's Top 10. Today, we're looking back at the best of the worst dating ad snippets. I hope this brings laughter.
In reverse order, here they are:
10) I,m well grounded
And so is your apostrophe.
9)
I am attending the local junior collage in town.
Keep attending, babe. Keep
attending.
8) New in town and ready to get
in!! Sounds sexual. Judging from your
shirtless photo and delightfully chiseled abs, I’d like to invite you to do so.
I mean -
clearing throat and composing self - good
luck to you, sir. Have a nice day.
7)
what does a guy got to do to get a gril Save
$100. Visit Walmart’s Patio and Garden department. They should be able to
assist you from there.
6) for
leisure; i like to go for walks at the park i also like to ride my bike there
on the bike baths or just have a nice panic by the lake.
Sounds lovely, darling, but I prefer
to have nice panics in private.
5) I'm distrustful of gnomes.
I’m distrustful of men who are
distrustful of gnomes.
4) You can call me Jim (no it's not MY name) but, it's only
fair since I call everyone "Jim"
3) Lets play in traffic
Okay, you go first!
2) pork
No thanks, I’m Jewish.
THE CLEAR WINNER:
This one, I'm not touching.
1) I'm a Clyde looking for my Boney
CONGRATULATIONS, Mr. Clyde! We’d
like to offer you your Boney, but we can’t do that here. Good luck on
your search.
While I love all of these the tenth and last ones are both my favourites although the tenth one is only so good due to your hilarious "so is your comma," line while the first is funny because of the sheer idiocy of spelling Bonnie as "Boney," great post Robyn, I love this.
ReplyDeleteSomeone should tell grill guy that a grill is much cheaper to maintain than a girl anyway.
ReplyDeleteI remember most of those. How scary is that?
These are always so funny! I love the well grounded best still.
ReplyDeleteLOL what a flock you always find, many seem to have less than half a mind
ReplyDeleteReminds me of that song from Urban Cowboy, Lookin' for Love in All the Wrong Places
ReplyDeleteho ho - I had to chuckle big time at the guy looking for a gril xo
ReplyDeleteI remember these and your comments make them ALL great!
ReplyDeleteYou're so right not to touch the Boney (which might go off in your hand), but I think you should give the gnome-phobic guy a chance. How much of a sacrifice would it be to avoid gnomes for the rest of your life?
ReplyDeleteLots of funny here. I hope poor Clyde finds his Boney, or at least the spell check button.
ReplyDeleteYW, thank you. Yeah, I'll never forget the sheer idiocy of "Boney."
ReplyDeleteAlex, true. But he probably wouldn't know the difference between a gril and a girl. Sorry for re-posting. It was bad enough the first time.
Terra, thanks.
PatHatt, less, much less.
IT, I think about that song a lot too. Wonder why ?!
David, poor guy will never quite find what he's looking for.
MsA, thanks. They make mockery rather easy.
GB, you are always (or sometimes) very rational. Good point. But gnomes can be cute.
Stephen, I hope he finds spellcheck. He could be dangerous if he finds his Boney.
Thanks, all. Keep a smile.
xoRobyn
I think #10 could use a Verbal Viagra.
ReplyDeleteSo he could get his apostrophe up.
Good one, Al. And if he keeps it up, he might have some luck with the ladies.
ReplyDeletexoRobyn
6- What's a bike bath? Would not the bike rust?
ReplyDeleteBahahahaha! Last one, clearly the winner! Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteYou always liven up these losers with your witty comments! I would've loved to see you interact with Bachelor Ben!
ReplyDeleteJulie
Julie, thank you. I would've taken scissors to that dude's hair. It's awful!
ReplyDeleteYvonne, yeah, it took no time for me to declare a winner.
Ruth, a bike bath is for bikes averse to showering..? Um, I got nothing. Be well.
Keep a smile, friends.
xoRobyn
You know they are arrogant enough to not see the problem with their presentation which is basically "I am Man and I am here." They're probably also thinking "Why don't these grils and bitches want to have sex with me?"
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHA! Going to tweet this, LOL!
ReplyDeleteHilarious but sometimes I can't help but feel sorry for these poor blokes!
ReplyDeleteThose are all still great!! Your number 1 is still out-loud funny. Please keep posting these...I feel so much smarter every time I read one of these lists.
ReplyDeleteHahaha. 8 and 7 were by far my favorites.
ReplyDeleteHaha - missed this one - phew, what a cracker! There's been some great ones all year.
ReplyDeleteThe internet is a wild place, that's for sure. I was never scared of the general populace until now - thanks for that Robyn! lol
xo
Thanks, all. So long as their are men to mock, you can count on me!
ReplyDeletexoRobyn