Wednesday, May 23, 2012

A Higher Calling


-A repost from 6.1.10

One must be of very high caliber to land a job nowadays.

Consider this ad for a job in San Francisco (source: craigslist.org):

Marijuana Educators Needed-

New Cannabis Educational Company is looking for highly knowledgeable Marijuana Educators. Cannabis Industry Attorneys, Doctors that do recommendations, Cannabis Chefs, Cannabis Horticulturists, Cannabis Herbalists, Dispensary Owners/Employees, Delivery Service Owners needed to speak to students. Must be comfortable speaking in front of crowds. This is an educational company only. You must be a passionate, up-to-date, knowledgeable Cannabis Industry expert in one or more of the needed areas. Weekend Only work. Part-time. Please send resume. Marijuana, Cannabis, 420, Medical Marijuana, Ganja

·Compensation: D.O.E.
·This is a part-time job.
·Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
·Please, no phone calls about this job!
·Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m working on my cover letter. Here’s what I’ve got so far. Feel free to add suggestions. 

Dear Highering Committee,
You should higher me. Here’s why:

1) I believe strongly that all brownies are “special brownies.”
2) I graduated from High School.
3) I’m routinely asked, “What the hell are you on?”
4) I get ravenously hungry when I haven’t eaten in 12 minutes.
5) I once listened to the Doobie Brothers, accidentally. (I thought they were the Bee Gees.)
6) I made a tie-dye shirt at summer camp 32 years ago.

Reefers available upon request, if you ask the right person. Hint: that would not be me.
Peace out!

27 comments:

  1. Number five should land you the job immediately!

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  2. You should absolutely be higher-ed.

    :-)

    Pearl

    p.s. Don't forget to add that you believe in Puff-Puff-Give.

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  3. Nice “do.” :)

    I suggest adding the following to your cover/reefer letter:

    I “toke” a course on the medical benefits of marijuana

    I finally figured out how a bong works.

    My electricity bills are REALLY REALLY high. (I have a green thumb…)

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  4. I always thought you were saving yourself for a higher purpose, just be "blunt" and ask for the job!

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  5. Back in the day I knew people that were very qualified for this job! Wonder what ever happened to them? Perhaps a higher calling.

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  6. That's a tough look to pull off: pubic hair on your head.

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  7. LOL hmmm and hmm some more. I guess the job market is pretty tough.

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  8. Alex, thanks. I actually did/do get those groups mixed up, no offense to the Bee Gees.

    Pearl, I'll work the Puff-Puff-Give angle. Great suggestion. Thanks!

    Beth, I'm in stitches. Great additions. I wouldn't have a clue how to work a bong, but a gal can fake it.

    Chuck, you think so? I'll offer them brownies first.

    MsA, I know plenty of those types now. Yes, I think they're still answering the higher calling.

    Al, it really was challenging. I nailed it, didn't I? Wink.

    Pat, you don't see ads like this in Canada, do you? Yes, our job market is pretty tough and very odd.

    xoRobyn

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  9. So is it legal in California now? About time too! I think your application would annoy them - these be serious pot people.

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  10. "I get ravenously hungry when I haven't eaten in 12 minutes." That sounds like me, and I don't even drink anything stronger than chocolate skim milk. So glad you reefered back to this classic from your early blogging daze! Julie

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  11. lol! great list. it could be mine!
    fantastic image btw.

    big hugs!

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  12. This application really made me laugh Robyn, thinking the Doobie Brothers were the Bee Gees actually made me cackle with laughter, you'd be awesome if you got this job, so awesome haha!

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  13. Thanks, Beth.

    GB, it's still only legal for "medicinal" purposes.

    Julie, my chocolate milk's made with fat free milk. Cheers to us.

    Betty, thanks. Glad you like it. Hugs back to you.

    YW, the bong industry would plummet but chocolate brownies would be everywhere. I'd guarantee it.

    xoRobyn

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  14. This ad is hilarious. Your response is perfect. You SHOULD be highered!

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  15. LOL! I'd add that you can "I'm so wasted" in five languages.

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  16. hahaha That is awesome. I'm going to be so disappointed if you don't get the job. You sound like the perfect candidate!

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  17. Perfect! You don't have to add a thing!!!!LOL!
    Blessings, Joanne

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  18. Robyn~This is the first post I have read of yours and it is so charming! Made me laugh out load! I am so glad I found your blog! That was a wonderful read..Thanks for sharing.. Luv lou

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  19. haha - I don't think I saw this one originally. Very funny though in true Robyn fashion..

    Bee Gees *sniff*

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  20. Sandy, thanks for your support. I'm still awaiting word from the highering committee.

    L.Diane, I like that. They'd probably believe it, but I'll do the research in case I need to prove it.

    David, send a "higher me" letter to the highering committee. Don't worry about hurrying. This highering committee moves slowly.

    Geek's Par, thanks for your support and the follow.

    Joanne, thanks. I'm sending it right away. After another "special brownie."

    Lou, thanks so much. Great to meet you!

    Anthony, thanks. Yes, very sad about the Bee Gees. Their music is timeless.

    xoRobyn

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  21. I gotta get out o this Joint!!!!

    LOVE YOU ROBYN!!!!!!

    Rock and ROLL forever!

    LYMI,

    John Boy

    Does the Universe Matriculate in a certain pattern attracting Cretins to my doorstep? Please excuse the prior Brownie Written words.

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  22. Oh Robyn you so funny!

    Love all the funny comments too!

    Been thinking of you! Sorry I am such a big bloggie flake!
    Darn kids always needing stuff, lol!

    lots of love
    gi gi

    ReplyDelete
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