Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Insecure Writer's Group and Judge Judy

Because writers might on occasion grapple with insecurities, Alex J. Cavanaugh founded an Insecure Writer’s Support Group for bloggers. We’re posting monthly, exposing our insecurities and/or offering support. Please check out Alex’s link to visit others’ posts. It’s a group of exceptional writers, authors and fun folks. 

Heated tensions continue between my confident writer's voice and my insecure self. As you may recall, Dr. Phil sent us on a 26-day intensive sponsored by the Foundation for Insecure People Attached to Secure Writers’ Voices. Yet my voice and I remain at odds. In fact, my insecure self slapped my secure writer’s voice with a lawsuit. Appalled by such treatment, I solicited the help of the harshest of harsh officials: Judge Judy. Let’s watch…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Judge Judy (Glaring at Insecure Robyn): I’ve read your claim and it appears to be a bunch of bologna! What exactly are you suing for? Or are you just here to waste my time?

Insecure Robyn (pointing at Robyn’s Secure Writer’s Voice): Um, I, sh, she broke my trust. She told a secret. She wasn't supposed to tell yet.

Judge Judy: What secret are you talking about?

Insecure Robyn: Well, uh, she told some people that I, we, I mean, she’s writing a book.

Judge Judy: You’ve gotta be kidding! Do you even have half a brain lady? That’s why you’re suing? What’s wrong with that?

RSWV (Robyn’s Secure Writer’s Voice) flips her hair back with a smarmy smirk.

Insecure Robyn (shaking): I, um, I’m just, I'm not a real writer. Real writers publish like three or nineteen books and I’ll be lucky to do one before I, like, die and stuff. And I don’t have money for publication and I’m not famous like Snooki. She’s published, you know? Girl can’t read and she’s published! Anyway, I do have 26 cents saved for publication, but I hear that’s not enough. And my book might be funny but it’s gonna be a little sad too. And they'll be disappointed because nobody likes sadness. (Robyn starts to cry. Sniffling and tearful): And some people –for example, really moronic men- might get mad at me when they see their really moronic personal ads in my book.

Judge Judy (Rolling her eyes): This is sounding more and more twisted. (Looking at RSWV): What would you like to say in your own defense?

RSWV: Well they posted their moronic ads and some of them even wanted to date her. Look at her! She points at Insecure Robyn, who blows her nose loudly into her sleeve. They deserve it! But they’re not exactly literate anyway, so what the *bleep* is she worried about?

Judge Judy: I can’t argue with that. (Glaring at Insecure Robyn): Your case has no merit! I offend people all the time. You think that’s a bad thing? Think again and check my show ratings while you’re at it sister. Now, you’ve wasted enough of my time! She stands up and exits the courtroom.

RWV flips her hair back again and walks off proudly.

Insecure Robyn hides her face in her mucous-filled sleeve and trudges behind her, dodging the cameras.
**
Post-script: True, I’ve started a book and have felt too insecure to make this semi-official announcement until now. I’m excited, though.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PPS THANKS FOR TUNING IN. HAPPY WEDNESDAY AND FEBRUARY.

45 comments:

  1. Care to tease us with a blurb on what your book is about?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love reading these! You are hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hope to be one of the elite to get a signed copy...even electronic signature would do...just hope it won't burn my pockets like the dating ads will blow up on those red faced men.
    Thanks for reminder to post my own. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good luck with the book!

    I'd hate to be judged by Judy, although the few times I've watched her... I'm usually in total agreement with her opinions.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So it's going to be a book about your dating experiences? Great subject matter, but you may need to change a few words in those ads, otherwise those illiterate suitors might sue you for plagiarism!

    ReplyDelete
  6. That's great news Robyn! I know your book will make us laugh one minute, cry the next, and crave chocolate throughout! I'm so excited for you! Julie

    ReplyDelete
  7. Judge Judy does offend - and it's funny!
    Yes, you let some of us in on your secret - no turning back now. No suing. You must go forward!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I actually find Judge Judy really funny so naturally I find this funny too. Awesome stuff Robyn, I look forward to reading your book, I'm sure it will be awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Judge Judy sure holds nothing back and goes on the attack, glad you got away without a scratch or maybe your insecure side got a batch. But that just makes her more tough and she can now play a bit more rough.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Stephen, it's like a blend of my Woman on the Verge and Celibacy series'.

    Thanks, all. Judge Judy is direct and entertaining. I didn't like when she sent a woman/plaintiff away because her opponent/defendant was clearly drugged out. She should've just awarded the women what she asked for. But she was too annoyed.

    Happy Wednesday.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  11. You goofy woman you. :-)

    You ARE a writer, have you not noticed?!

    Now come over here so I can give you a firm swat on the behind and then get back to work!!

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
  12. What a fun(ny!) way to make an announcement! Love this creative post and wish you the best with your book!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I’m with Judge Judy and Robyn’s Secure Writing Voice – you’ve got the talent! Go for it!
    And keep that excitement…

    ReplyDelete
  14. You go, baby! Follow your dreams and get out of your own way!

    ReplyDelete
  15. This raised a good question though: Are those ads copy righted? Is it legal as long as you don't use their real names?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Please don't tell me I'll end up on Judge Judy, but since you never responded to my email for a baby photo, I took one! Check my blog tomorrow to find out why.

    ReplyDelete
  17. That was funny! Good luck with your book. Keep at it!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Very cute. Bring on the moronic ads! I agree with Judge Judy - so just assume somebody WILL be offended and be okay w/ that. Very exciting news about starting your book. Have fun!

    ReplyDelete
  19. This is a great post. I try to meet a new blogger each month and I hit your random button today! I'm glad I did. Now you get going and write that book and forget that snarky Judge Judy. With your humour it'll rock in! Someone may even double the 26 cents you have to outlay, lol!

    Denise

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks, all.

    Sarah, I'm leaving no grounds for a lawsuit based on defamation of character, since I'm removing all identifying info. I don't think the ads are copy righted; I'll get legal input before it goes to the press.

    Nicki, good advice. Thanks.

    Denise and Shiela, great to meet you. Thank you for stopping by.

    Thanks, all. You are wonderful.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  21. That was funny! And hey, you're writing a book! How wonderful! That's kind of why we're ALL here.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I swear if it were between Judge Judy and an Army Sargent barking at me...I'd choose the sarge...The Judge would have me in tears at "Hello". Good luck with the book!
    Blessings, Joanne

    ReplyDelete
  23. all i can say is that you're a brilliant writer and an awesome person, robyn!

    your sense of humour...priceless!!


    good luck with the book!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I feel so special because you and I, we are Facebok friends and buds and I already KNEW this. Haha.

    " I, um, I’m just, I'm not a real writer. Real writers publish like three or nineteen books and I’ll be lucky to do one before I, like, die and stuff. " - NONSENSE!!

    Write on. Love ya, girl.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Put me down for one now- and like Rex--I want it signed!!! That is--If you can write in Real Writing!

    Love ya mean it!

    J

    ReplyDelete
  26. hello thanks you for the helpful information

    ReplyDelete
  27. I love that you go to court with yourself. I look forward to seeing the bad personal ads you're going to offend people with :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Gosh, I feel so special. I've actually read some of the promised best seller. Keep rockin, Robyn

    ReplyDelete
  29. Ha ha ha.. that's brilliant.. one of your best ones Robyn.. and a great way to share the news...

    I especially loved the snot filled sleeve.. lol.
    and that Snooki can't read but she's published.. there's the whole damn problem right there! The famous just keep on getting more famous and the rest of us sink into the dust...

    Here's to you rising up girl! And conquering all!

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  30. Why in the world would you be part of the insecure writers club? Girl you are one good writer! Look at all your followers and all the comments you get. You make an impression!

    Rock on!

    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  31. Thanks, Nancy!

    Joanne, yeah, the sight of her makes me cower in the corner.

    Betty, you're so sweet. Thank you kindly.

    Thanks, Jerzey.

    Dawn, you are special and I love ya too.

    John, will do. I hope to get it done before my -- well, when I can still sign my name. LYMI.

    Busana, thanks for your visits and comments.

    Emily, I will post another batch soon. Thanks for the follow.

    Teri, I'm so grateful for our real-life and virtual connection.

    Anthony, you always make me laugh and thanks for the compliments. Yeah, Snooki's published, leaving the rest of us to make sense of it all. It's just wrong.

    Lisa, my friend, you're sweet. Thanks for your kindness.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  32. Woohoo girl, I've got a feelin' this is gonna be great!!!

    God bless ya and have a marvelous weekend.

    You go girl!!! :o)

    ReplyDelete
  33. 'Smarmy.'
    I love 'smarmy.'
    Kinda like I like 'snarky.'
    And, it should go without saying....'pie.'
    You thought I was going to say (well, technically, write) 'sex', didn't you?
    Well, that's cool, too.
    After pie.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hooray, I'm so excited that you've started a book! That's awesome. I already know I'll love it, especially if it contains some of those personal ads LOL.

    I always love Secure and Insecure Robyn's adventures, and Judge Judy is perfect! :D

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'm cracking up. I know those girls, I am those girls. I love compliments, but don't trust em. People are too nice and though one moment I'm confident, the next I'm a puddle of insecure ooze.
    So ... post a tidbit and we'll send chocolate.

    ReplyDelete
  36. LMAO! Came over from Judie's where she had your picture. Had to come see who you are and so glad I did. Now I'm one of the multitude's following...Gotta go read some more of you now. I'll for sure read anything you write. Later!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Confused about what to gift to your loved ones on Valentines Day?? I think gifting a chocolate will be good this time: For delivery any where in india for customised photo chocolates Contact Chocolate Hut:9246217112 (or) info@ChocolateHut.in

    ReplyDelete
  38. Dear Best Chocolates Person,

    I don't do commercialism. Your chocolate doesn't appear to be fair trade. If you go fair trade, check in with me about advertising; I'd love to talk then.

    Further, I find Valentine's Day offensive.

    For all these reasons, you're more than welcome to visit and comment but please do not advertise here again. Thank you.

    Vicki/Jake, thank you very much. Gotta love that Judie.

    GenePool, oh yes. We understand each other - all 4 of us. Thank you!

    Julie, thanks for your support. I really appreciate it.

    Nezzy, you are so great to give a shout over here every now and again. Thank you. Have a fabulous weekend in the Ozarks.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  39. I am excited for you! I can't wait till you share more about it!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Gosh, how many times I've heard that dialogue in my own head!

    If you've started a book, you can finish it! Chocolate will help! Where there's chocolate, there's a way :)

    ReplyDelete
  41. Yay!! I would love, love to read a book by you. I love coming here so much because you always make laugh and think outside myself.

    This was a terrific case before my fave tv judge. Jusy rocks! A very original post as always. :)

    ReplyDelete
  42. Ooooh!! Exciting!! That's awesome that you're writing a book. :)

    ReplyDelete