Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Insecure Writer's Group with Dr. Phil!

Because writers might on occasion grapple with insecurities, Alex J. Cavanaugh founded an Insecure Writer’s Support Group for bloggers. We’re posting monthly, exposing our insecurities and/or offering support. Please check out Alex’s link to visit others’ posts. It’s a huge group of exceptional writers, authors and fun folks. Some are all three.  

Several of you have remarked that I don’t seem insecure. Thank you. That feedback helped me to realize there’s a huge difference between me and my writer’s voice. It’s a gap so great that only an expert could help us find common ground.  So I asked Dr. Phil to facilitate an intervention. He agreed; he likes a challenge. Please enjoy today’s show.
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RWV (Robyn’s Writer’s Voice): Welcome, Dr. Phil. Thanks for making the trip.

Dr. Phil: Sure thing. Now what seems to be the problem? I said, what seems to be the problem?

RWV (Pointing at a corner of the room): The problem? Look at her Dr. Phil! Robyn cowers in the corner. A stone-cold look of fear across her face, she slowly nibbles dark chocolate covered edamame. I do all the work. I’m the assertive, articulate, (winking and thumbing her neckline to expose a teaser of cleavage) sexy, edgy woman. She’s the wimpy, people-pleasing, shlumpy klutz.  (Nudging Dr. Phil) It ain’t hard to figure out why she’s still single. Huh? I express all her emotions for her too, while she sits there getting fat munching ho-hos.
Robyn: It’s edamame, you dumb –
Dr. Phil (interrupting): Come closer to us and let’s talk, Robyn.
Robyn (meekly): W, w, why?

Dr. Phil: Because you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. I said, you cannot change what you don’t acknowledge.

Robyn moves shyly to the middle of the stage, plopping down an arm’s distance from Dr. Phil and her Writer’s Voice.

Dr. Phil: That’s better. Now, what is it you’re so scared of?

Robyn: I, well, it’s, I don’t know. I’m shy. I don’t think I have, uh, anything important to say so I get quiet when I to start to (whispering) express myself in real life. I leave it all to her.  

Dr. Phil: Tell ya what. I’ve hired the experts of The Insecure People Attached to Secure Writers’ Voices Foundation for a 26-day intensive in Fortworth, Texas. These folks are the best of the best. But it’s not gonna be easy. You’re gonna have to work real hard to come to a meeting of the minds. Now are you willing to do this? I said, are you willing to do this work?

RWV: That depends, will there be any single men there who aren’t idiots, freaks or weirdoes?

Robyn to RWV: Shh, I can’t believe you said that. to Dr. Phil: Uh, will there be chocolate?

Dr. Phil: Okay, listen; I’ve hired the best of the best. I can’t promise men or chocolate, but there’s a private jet waiting just outside the stage doors to take you there.

RWV: A pilot? I bet he’s cute! She skips off fingering her mile-high frequent flyer club card.

Robyn strolls behind, nervously, clinging to her container of edamame.

Dr. Phil: We’ll follow up with these two some other time. Ya’all have a great evening!

Dr. Phil walks up to his wife, Robin, and escorts her off-stage. There, he starts to unbutton her blouse, but she stops him when she notices the camera’s still rolling.

-Commercial break-

39 comments:

  1. oh Robyn, confidence is so hard to find and even harder to keep but this was super fun to read...you always entertain!

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  2. haha at least confidence leads you to Dr. Phil, he surely was a delight to read at your hill.

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  3. Great post, again. I think lots of writers feel exactly the same - I know I do. Will Dr Phil visit us all, do you think?

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  4. Fantastic post - very creative and entertaining.

    As a Brit - what exactly is edamame? If its chocolate I need to know about it.

    Happy 2012
    Emma

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  5. Will there be chocolate and single men? You crack me up, Robyn! Another great entry.

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  6. I love this so much Robyn. Doctor Phil is hilarious in here, thanks for such an enjoyable read.

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  7. Great Robynism!!! Dr. Phil is the strong, assertive, always accurate man is he? If you find him in real life, ask if he has a twin, hell a clone would be better....I loved RWV, she is as spunky as I let my muse be. Whereas the real me will give Clark Kent a superiority complex.

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  8. You always make me laugh so much, Robyn. This is such a creative post! And, I can totally relate to the insecure Robyn, I felt like I was reading about myself. Especially the part about getting fat munching ho-hos LOL. :D

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  9. A great format to poke fun at yourself. I've heard it said that art is born from insecurity. Probably true. It just might be that your insecurities are a blessing.

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  10. When Dr Phil is done boosting up your confidence would you send him round to my place?

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  11. What a creative imagination you have. Quite a concept. Thanks for this fun read!

    Maybe Dr Phil will get to read this!

    Happy 2012 to you!

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  12. Hi Robyn, nice to meet you. I love it. Don't we all have one voice on paper and another in person.

    BTW - I always thought that about Dr. Phil.

    Hey,I'll be back.

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  13. Sometimes you just have to blurt it out. See who is receptive and see who isn't. Always stay in your own comfort zone. Even if it isn't comfortable to others. You gotta be true to yourself. And when you do, the right people will follow you.
    That was AWV speaking. Ames doesn't endorse anything she says about me. Have a nice day. Power to Chocolate!~Ames

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  14. Oh, this made my day. I love the handsy Dr. Phil. Thanks for sharing - new follower :)

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  15. I appreciate all your comments and, especially, knowing that others feel the same about their writer's vs real-life personas.

    Emma, good question. It's a green soybean usually served in its shell and with salt. They're pretty addicting and we Americans tend to munch them with sushi or other Japanese dishes. But we can also find it covered in chocolate. It doesn't sound good, but it does taste good.

    Ames, yes, power to chocolate. And to you & AWV. Thank you.

    Stephen, such nice sentiment. Thank you.

    Thanks to my new followers! I'm honored, and I feel indebted to Dr. Phil.

    xoRobyn

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  16. I just Love you. Period!!!!!

    LYMI,

    J

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  17. You truly do rock Robin!!! This was creatively hilarious!!!

    I'm rollin' her girl!

    Don't leave us hangin' long...a pilot with chocolates involved here.

    God bless and have yourself a magnificent 2012!!!

    Woohoo....bring it on! :o)

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  18. I get insecure about a lot of things. When I get in that groove, I can't do anything.

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  19. I'm glad that you brought Dr. Phil over. I also liked how you managed to slip my new addiction (dark chocolate edamame) into the story! It was smart that Robin Mc Graw, showed up to make sure that he didn't try to take off with the other Robyns! Julie

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  20. Robyn, you have an excellent writer's voice, even if you do say you are shy and lack confidence. One would never know that unless you pointed it out. It's even harder to imagine that it could possibly be true, considering how openly you write. Girl, I can't even do that. I'm much more mouthy and open in my real life and can never find words to write, for fear of scaring the snot out of people.

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  21. That's hilarious. Dr Phil was in true form. I feel the same way, sometimes...

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  22. MsA, it's helped so much that you all are so kind! Little by little, I've poured more of myself into my writing and now my life is practically an open blog. But this blog is a lot bolder than I am, generally, in person. I guess that's neither good or bad.

    EmptyNest, yes, I had to. It was the best of the chocolate items I recently sampled. Was is the key word. They were gone quickly. Yours too?

    Nezzy, it's always great to have you come over here with a holler. Be well.

    John, I love you too. And the rest of my followers.

    Thanks,
    xoRobyn

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  23. PS oops, I meant neither good Nor bad (as if anyone but me - I mean my writer's voice- caught that one).

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  24. This would be a great romance. A private jet, good looking pilot with a not-so-good looking co pilot who opts to fly while pilot is busy with one of the Robyns playing hide the chocolate edamame. Delicious. But I'm leaving Dr. Phil on the ground.

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  25. I love how you turned this into a talk show with Dr. Phil. Brilliant and hilarious!

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  26. I wouldn't mind a sit down with Dr Phil myself :)

    .......dhole

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  27. He should have tempted you with chocolate before unbuttoning...
    Good one Robyn!
    Two bags of edamame sitting and waiting for us in the freezer...

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  28. You should have started smacking that other Robyn around. She is just so perfect.

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  29. LOL That was great!

    I found you from Alex's blog and am your newest follower. It's nice to "meet" you!

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  30. Haha - funny and yet disturbing.. Dr Phil and the promise of sex makes me ill, yet I was enjoying it to the end.. You have the man downpat, I said downpat..

    Yo'all come back now ya hear?

    ;)

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  31. Anthony, someone's been watchin too much Dr. Phil. I said someone's been watching-- well, 2 someone's (me and you).

    Julie, I'd leave him on the ground with Robin too. He uses his powers for good and not for evil, which I admire, but his ego is a bit inflated. He seems to think everything he says bears repeating and repeating again.

    Cal, she is irritatingly perfect, witty, gorgeous, and - well - yeah, I just b*tch slapped her.

    Thanks, Nicole!

    Thanks, all. Glad you enjoyed this. It was fun to write. Dr. Phil's an easy one. I'm guessing Robin agrees.

    xoRobyn

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  32. lol Another creative post from Chocolate Girl. You are a GREAT writer keep it up :)

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  33. Very funny post. I for one think that the relationship between you and your RWV is hilarious.

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  34. That was terrific! Thanks for the smile.

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  35. That's hilarious. I'm so glad to meet you as I am on the Insecure Linky list as well. Your title (mentioning chocolate) lured me in.

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  36. LOL!!!!! You crack me up! He does sound a bit like the foghorn rooster character from looney tunes! This was awesome as always.
    Blessings, Joanne

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  37. Thanks lot for this useful article, nice post

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