Friday, January 13, 2012

On Why I Choose Celibacy Reasons #155-166

Dear friends, 


I’ll be having fun with houseguests this weekend and won’t be on-line much. So please enjoy these internet dating ad headlines.  Not only do these guys utilize interesting marketing ploys, they offer me 12 more reasons for celibacy. 



Reason #155:  My password is .................

156.  Not looking for Intimate incounters

157.  my purpose in life requiers a good woman

158.  have job and teeth

159.  LOOKEN FOR SOMONE TO LOVE ME

160.  Iam done with this sight!

161.  Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

162.  please keep arms inside the ride...

163.  Let's Tell People We Met at Wal-Mart

164.  I fallen and I can't get up maybe some

165.  Cling free please

166.  Knight looking for damsel to disdress!


Are you pondering what I'm pondering? That is, it just gets weirder, right? Then again, #163 might be onto (or on) something.

Be well and happy weekend!

33 comments:

  1. I know I am pondering why none of these people seem to have spell check enabled.
    Have a good visit with your guests!

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  2. The last should read Warning *** "knave looking for someone, distressing"
    And #159 may find out the hard way Simone is relaxing under the Tuscan Sun by now.
    Hilarious, thanks for the weekend laughs ...have a great weekend.

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  3. Enjoy your guests. That damsel line is a gem.

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  4. Now "disdress" might be a deliberate attempt at word creation. Maybe he was trying to fuse "undress" with "disrespect".

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  5. I'm quite certain you will find more joy with your house guests, than any of these prospects!

    Have a great weekend!

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  6. 161 - it's a Pinky & the Brain quote

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinky_and_the_Brain

    Pax
    Downunder

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  7. Oh dear, some of these are absolutely horrible. To anybody mature and normal even, blatantly obvious disregard for spelling on something that's supposed to be important can be really off putting!

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  8. lol some were so bad they were funny, easy to see why with these ones reasons for celibacy is right on the money

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  9. These are great. Thanks for the laugh.

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  10. #159..oh how it speaks to me!

    enjoy your guests, and have an awesome weekend!

    big hugs!

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  11. If he has job and teeth, no one will buy that you met at WalMart.

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  12. I'd love to know what goes through their minds when they write this kind of stuff!

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  13. Too funny Robyn! If I was alone, I think I'd make do with a cat!!

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  14. Your comments are hilarious. Thank you!

    Ruth, you and I are pondering the same thing.

    Rek, good points. Be well.

    InBed, Kara, and Farawayeyes, you're very welcome.

    Stephen, thanks. It is a perplexing gem, isn't it?

    GB, or maybe he's a cross-dresser??

    MsA, I'm certain you're right. Thank you.

    Paxford, ah, thanks for the 411. Interesting. I'll check out that link.

    Yeamie, you're right. That's what it comes down to - disregard for something that's supposed to be important. Great point.

    Pat, the bad ones are funny and funny are bad. Yep, that's why I haven't been had. I mean, dating.

    Betty, LOL. Be well.

    Alex, ha ha, that is REALLY GOOD! I like it. Thank you.

    Annalisa, I know. Those brainwaves have gotta be on such a twisted track to think they're going to attract with this stuff.

    Melissa, this is reason for the single lady with 15 cats. If I liked cats more, that would be me.

    xoRobyn

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  15. "Knight looking for damsel to disdress," is my favorite! Thanks for always writing the most thoughtful comments, but I'd still be happy if you just dropped in to say "hi!" Hope you're having a great time with your guests! Julie

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  16. I'm back after a little blogging hiatus and am happy to see that you are still delivering the quality posts I've always known you for!

    Can you pass on to my details to 162 please - he sounds like he'll scream if he wants to go faster!

    Rapunzel x
    *Tales from the Tower*

    ps Like the new look of your blog

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  17. Have job and teeth?
    I guess that rules out Walmart.
    Enjoy your guests. I have house comany, too

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  18. 167, You are mentioned on my Blog!

    No, seriously--you are!

    Love ya Mean it Kiddo!

    J

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  19. Thanks for sharing! These were a total hoot. :) In the spirit of giving, I'll share one of mine with you

    "I love all women. Just not fat ones, ones who are too tall or too short, if they talk too much, have hairy pits, legs or 'staches, if there old, there breasts are too small or sag, and if they don't like sex on the first date." I wonder why he's still single?

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  20. Maybe being married for 32 years gives me a different perspective but I thought that last one was pretty creative!

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  21. i love your blog., great., :D

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  22. Mouth opened in shock
    Furrowed brow
    Empathetic nod
    Chastity belt on back order.
    Blessings, Joanne

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  23. "Reasons Why I'm Glad I'm Married #155-156"
    Thank you for reminding me, my Robyn.
    :)

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  24. lol I enjoyed all the reasons. Thanks

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  25. You need to write about how you want to BREAK your celibacy girl, if you want to get laid.

    However, now that I am dating four men at a time, my life is very complicated.

    very, very complicated.

    xoxo

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  26. Notsosimply, I don't want to get laid by an idiot, freak or weirdo, so I'm good flying solo.

    Jerzey, always glad to bring on laughter.

    DearDawn, drop by anytime the hubs misbehaves.

    Joanne, that is an awesome comment. It almost reads like a haiku. Thank you!

    djawa, thanks for stopping by!

    Beth, well, 32 years is beyond impressive so you're entitled to find creativity where others can't.

    Melissa, oh, thank you for forwarding. I am almost out of words. That idiot has just ruled out the present, past and future gene pool.

    John, I love you too and sorry it's taken so long...I'll be there asap.

    Al, yes, you and Alex are thinking alike. That's a good one and so true.

    Rapunzel, great to see you! Thanks. And I forwarded your contact info. Hope you have strong ear plugs.

    Julie, thanks so much. Time is becoming a bit more limited these days but I always like to leave at least semi-meaningful comments.

    Be well, all.
    xoRobyn

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  27. What in the world is wrong with people? I'm going to think about what my opening line would be...

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  28. After the options that are out there, I would be done with this sight too!! Because #161 is quoting Pinky and the Brain, he must want you to be the Pinky to his Brain. I don't know that I approve of that. You are definitely the Brain...especially compared to these guys. Maybe just pull a Rapunzel and build yourself a tower and wait for a handsome man to come rescue you.

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  29. I absolutely love this on your blog. As a sometime internet dater, I thought I had seen it all. thank you for pointing out the new ones. I hope you have a book about dating within you. My favorites are the ones who say "no drama" or the last book they read was in high school.(No offence to non readers but seriously what would they do when I am stuck in the middle of an exciting book or stressing about my own WIP LOL)

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