Monday, October 10, 2011

The Stud Finder

I needed help hanging it. It’s nearly as wide as it is long, so roommate Steven kindly navigated the process. 

“We’ll need a stud finder,” he claimed."I'll get mine."

A stud finder? A stud finder! That’s ingenious! I pictured myself roaming around town clenching a stud finder. I raise it in front of every man I see. If he's a stud, he's blinded by a flashing beam of red light and deafened by incessant beeping. I do a victory dance. Then we live happily ever after.

Alas, the stud finder was somewhat of a disappointment. As Steven slid it along the living-room wall, the light flashed  and annoying beepage ensued when, in fact, there was no stud. It took several false starts to actually locate any studs.

Next, Steven hammered nails into the studs.“This head is too small,” he said. So I found nails with a bigger head. But he’d already hammered in one of the smaller headed nails and the stud would not relinquish the nail, not for a very long time. He finally pulled it out. 

We straightened and re-hung the mirror.

In the end, it’s hung too high. I’m not going to ask him to do it again. It was too hard, and the stud finder is rather impotent.

I’m not sure what all or any of this means but I’d like to acquire a stud finder that actually works.

29 comments:

  1. I think my wife has one that works!
    (Yeah, that was really bold, wasn't it? And yes, that's her laughing in the background.)

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  2. I've never heard of a stud finder before but you're right. That's actually absolute genius! Nice post as usual, keep up the good blogging work.

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  3. Robyn: There was more innuendo here than in an Italian proctologist's office.

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  4. Allowing the innuendo to sail right over my head...if the actual finding of wall studs is something you need to be doing, well, here's another way to do it without the electronic doo-dad!

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  5. We have a stud finder in our house but every time my wife tries to use it she discovers that the batteries are dead. This is no accident; I always replace the batteries with other dead ones. If she had a stud finder that actually worked I might lose her!

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  6. My dad's version of a stud finder was knocking on the walls and listening to the sound. It worked, strangely enough.
    Our stud finder doesn't work because we have an old house with the plaster and slats over the studs. It throws it off. And the studs aren't straight either.
    A good stud finder is priceless.

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  7. I think even Dr. Ruth might blush when reading this post!Rock on!

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  8. Alex, I believe it - that your wife's stud finder works and that she was laughing the the background.

    Yeamie, I hadn't either. Thanks, new friend.

    Beth, anytime.

    Al, I thought you'd have fun with this. An Italian proctologist? Italian? I don't think I want an explanation.

    Jaq, I find it priceless that you recently wrote a practical post on the stud finder. Thanks.

    Stephen, you're a savvy man. Good humored too.

    Ruth, they actually remind me of those gadgets back in the day that were used for detecting gold.

    MsA, I'm happy to spread smiles.

    LaughingMom, that's flattering. Thank you.

    xoRobyn

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  9. PS Alex "in the background" not "the the background." =)

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  10. My kind of stud finder would work on men. Just hold it up and voila!... a handsome stud to give me a massage. ;)

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  11. I don't think much of studs that hide in a lady's wall and need to get nailed. Can't you hang the mirror without them?

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  12. If you find one, email me. ASAP.
    (You possess an incredible talent for the art of innuendo!)

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  13. Forget those devices - they are overrated!! What you need is a 'Reliable Available Contractor ... that works well but cheap' finder. But then again, I don't think I have ever seen one at the hardware store! W.C.C.

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  14. I'd never heard of a stud finder either. I asked Mr A. "Oh you mean timber studs," he said... sensible as ever. May your new year be overflowing with studs... or something like that anyway.

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  15. Oh Robyn that was laugh out loud funny!
    Your the best!
    Hope you weeek is going well!
    Lots of love
    gi gi

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  16. Mel, that's what I'm talking about girlfriend.

    GB, yeah, those kinds of studs are hardly studs at all.

    Beth, thanks much. I'll let you know when I find one.

    WCC, is that contractor single? Studly?

    Rosalind, I'm laughing. Timber studs will do. Thanks.

    Gigi, thanks love.

    xoRobyn

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  17. Brilliant! Love the double entendres!

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  18. I'll lend you my slutty girlfriend..?

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  19. Only you would find a "rather impotent" stud finder and make the process of hanging a mirror entertaining!

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  20. Nothing worse than small head.. lol.. well, bad head isn't good either. haha

    Very funny post Robyn.... and if you could invent one, you'd make a fortune. Just stay clear of parts from WalMart. lol.. never been there of course, but i've seen some scary photos of people who go there. ;)

    xo

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  21. Hi Robyn! My husband has a stud finder. He gets a kick out of holding it up to his face and saying "beep." LOL. They're good for finding a spot on the wall anyway. :) Have a great weekend! :)

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  22. I know what this is and you're too funny :)

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  23. If you find a good stud finder let me know. I could really use one myself!

    Fun post, and I could relate to the mirror hanging difficulties, I am terrible at any kind of "handy work" around the house!

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  24. Those stud finders are out there but the "has a good job, is loyal, and doesn't have mommy issues" finders are almost impossible to find at all!
    Blessings, Joanne

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  25. If you find a stud finder that finds real studs, could you let me know? I could give it to my sister....

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