On Why I Choose Celibacy, Reasons # 83-89: That Nosy Jumbo Screen

REASON #83: Im easy going kind of guy lots of codling I don't like to fight with my lady, love the outdoors camping camp fire roasting marshmelows. sexy legs, 4x4ing trailing, sexy legs two sets of ‘em? wathing the sun go doen on the beach I feel I'm pretty much a "Down to earth guy" and layed back. Hoping to find some girl the same way. Well isn't that a how do you do? I've got to babble at least 200 characters. I don't want to sound like a tight wad, but if I have to PAY money to talk about myself I'm in the wrong bussiness. Now if someone wants to pay ME to babble about myself, then I'm all mouth, tounge, and lungs. I'll chat your ears off. Is that enough? It’s more than enough, babe. Plenty more.

REASON #84: are u a angle? well if u are u better have some wings.haha:) Drats! You found me out. Okay, okay, I may tend towards obtuse - especially around the mid section, but I wear a tight belt and loose fitting shirts. PS Are you laughing at your “wings” comment, or did something funny actually happen?

REASON #85: Click here for free chocolates! Of course, I responded to this one last week. “Did somebody say free chocolates?” He wrote back “HAHA, what kind do you want?” I suggested any kind would do; I’m easy (when it comes to chocolate). I’m still waiting on my chocolates and another response. Actually, I'm just waiting on the chocolates.

REASON #86: I am looking for a wonderfull woman to move into my room with me in my folks basement if all goes well she (you ) will take care of me and spend all your money on me rather then bills or anything else. after a while I will let my true colors shine through and let you use my crack pipe and take a sip off my 40 (room temp) momma don't let me put it in the ice chest / fridge.

I know that gotcha going. just so you know I have my own place sort of it's me and my kids I would like to meet a nice girl that can also be a lady who can fit on the back of my motorcycle ....no it,s not a hog ITS A HONDA sabre vroom vroom. I think I’d prefer smoking crack in the basement with your momma.

REASON #87: I got friends in low places.. And this is your biggest selling point? Do they smoke crack in the basement with your momma?


REASON #88: Handsome, healthy, happy , looking for someone to pamper, must have positive attitude and love to please your man. Must like outdoor and indoor sports .Still looks good in a bikini. Get real, buster. You are 56 and not a looker.  Still, you insist on a 42-54 year old woman who looks good in a bikini? You know Demi’s taken, right?

REASON #89: I prefer quiet actives, I'm not into nosy things or places. The exception to this would be going to a baseball game from time to time. Yeah, those umpires can really get into your business. And if you shove popcorn into your date's mouth, you’re bound to end up on the Jumbo Screen.