Thursday, March 24, 2011

On Why I Choose Celibacy, Reasons # 83-89: That Nosy Jumbo Screen



REASON #83: Im easy going kind of guy lots of codling I don't like to fight with my lady, love the outdoors camping camp fire roasting marshmelows. sexy legs, 4x4ing trailing, sexy legs two sets of ‘em? wathing the sun go doen on the beach I feel I'm pretty much a "Down to earth guy" and layed back. Hoping to find some girl the same way. Well isn't that a how do you do? I've got to babble at least 200 characters. I don't want to sound like a tight wad, but if I have to PAY money to talk about myself I'm in the wrong bussiness. Now if someone wants to pay ME to babble about myself, then I'm all mouth, tounge, and lungs. I'll chat your ears off. Is that enough? It’s more than enough, babe. Plenty more.


REASON #84: are u a angle? well if u are u better have some wings.haha:) Drats! You found me out. Okay, okay, I may tend towards obtuse - especially around the mid section, but I wear a tight belt and loose fitting shirts. PS Are you laughing at your “wings” comment, or did something funny actually happen?

REASON #85: Click here for free chocolates! Of course, I responded to this one last week. “Did somebody say free chocolates?” He wrote back “HAHA, what kind do you want?” I suggested any kind would do; I’m easy (when it comes to chocolate). I’m still waiting on my chocolates and another response. Actually, I'm just waiting on the chocolates.

REASON #86: I am looking for a wonderfull woman to move into my room with me in my folks basement if all goes well she (you ) will take care of me and spend all your money on me rather then bills or anything else. after a while I will let my true colors shine through and let you use my crack pipe and take a sip off my 40 (room temp) momma don't let me put it in the ice chest / fridge.

I know that gotcha going. just so you know I have my own place sort of it's me and my kids I would like to meet a nice girl that can also be a lady who can fit on the back of my motorcycle ....no it,s not a hog ITS A HONDA sabre vroom vroom. I think I’d prefer smoking crack in the basement with your momma.

REASON #87: I got friends in low places.. And this is your biggest selling point? Do they smoke crack in the basement with your momma?


REASON #88: Handsome, healthy, happy , looking for someone to pamper, must have positive attitude and love to please your man. Must like outdoor and indoor sports .Still looks good in a bikini. Get real, buster. You are 56 and not a looker.  Still, you insist on a 42-54 year old woman who looks good in a bikini? You know Demi’s taken, right?

REASON #89: I prefer quiet actives, I'm not into nosy things or places. The exception to this would be going to a baseball game from time to time. Yeah, those umpires can really get into your business. And if you shove popcorn into your date's mouth, you’re bound to end up on the Jumbo Screen.

27 comments:

  1. I would only reply to #85--simply because he used correct spelling and grammar. Yes, these qualities ARE sexy. Plus, having chocolate isn't bad, either.

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  2. No 99 is "not into nosy things or places". What does that mean? Do you think he got nightmares after watching Pinocchio when he was a child?

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  3. I still think you are getting these from mine area LMAO just add in loves animal heads on wall LMAO

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  4. codling??? He he--he said cod ling!

    & LOL-- Umpires----? Foul Codling? hey--I'm just trying to make the List!!!!!

    And Cougars in Bikini's--WAIT_ OH--OK--I'll buy that one--but only that one--a guy has his standards.

    You are awesome! Much Love,

    LYMI,

    J

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  5. #84 reminds me:

    So I have wings tattooed on my shoulders. Once I was on a cruise, wearing a dress that showed them off. A really cute waiter came up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder, and asked in a thick accent: "Did it hurt?"
    I had no idea what he was talking about. I think I managed a "huh?"
    And he laid it on me: "Did eet huhrt when you fell from dee heavens?"
    LOL.

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  6. Oh geez...the pool is getting more shallow, dear. LOL. Love the comic relief...not seeing any good prospects in there. Can I hook you up with a hot fireman?

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  7. Dear Momma Fargo,

    I'll answer for her. Of course you can hook her up with a hot fireman!!!

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  8. Noelle, thank you! xo

    MommaFargo, please see my response to Noelle and Noelle's response to your question. Thanks. ;0)

    CakeB, his comment is what hurts! Oy. xo

    John, do you think cod ling has to do with fish? I can't make sense of it otherwise. LYMI xo {~;

    KD, now I'm on the lookout for the animal- head-on-wall fetish. I'll keep you posted. Thanks for dropping by again. xo

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  9. GB, I don't know, but I like nosy things and places. Who wouldn't? =o)

    MsA, thanks. xo

    OT, always glad to make you laugh. [-:

    Shan, he was my favorite too, of course. Alas, a man with no follow-through. xo

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  10. Holy crap! A Honda Sabre. Not just any dude owns one of those. It takes a special man.

    I think he's your best bet of this bunch. I bet he has very well behaved children.

    Why can't these guys spell Angel? What the heck?

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  11. Dear goodness those are bad! I'd choose celibacy too!

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  12. To answer Cheeseboy's qs...maybe Angel was their exGF who stopped one when she saw their colours as #86 (even momma can't stand me, locked in the basement) pointed out....and the burn is still paining down there...
    #83 I would pay money to the dating site to delete his sexy legged account
    #88 is definitely a younger Howard Marshall
    #89 has got his adverbs and packaged water mixed up
    all in all hilarious...have a good weekend with mojo only tearing your shoes.:)

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  13. I really get a kick out of these "personal" ads. These men sound like throwbacks to the 60's!!

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  14. When will you be publishing a book with all of your posts on this subject in it? You really oughta!
    Have a great weekend Robyn!

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  15. are u a angle? - err did this guy miss out on an education. these guy are too funny, Robyn

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  16. What is it with dudes not being able to spell "angel" (much less anything else)?!!!

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  17. What hope have I got now that I'm looking again??? I'm now very afraid...

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  18. glad the gut with friends in low places isn't the same guy with the free cholocates, you never know what you'd get there

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  19. There are lots of extremely nice fellas, and girls, at your local animal SPCA or rescue group.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4fVsSejI4Q

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  20. Cheeseboy and Marlene, I'm not sure. Didn't they learn how to sound it out in 1st grade? You do teach your kids that, right Abe? xo

    Beth, thanks for the validation. :->

    Rek, your comment is amusing and appropriate, as always. Thanks. xo

    Judie, they sure are throwbacks! [0:

    Pat, that means a lot, coming from you. I'm sitting with that one. I just need to figure out a way to add some - uh - substance to a book like that. Thanks! xo

    Lisa, it really is. Thanks friend. =o)

    David, idiocy is always laughable. Thanks. xo

    Ca88, no, no. These are No Cal men. You're fishing in the Australian waters with the Great Barrier Reef and all. No worries. (Gulp.) [-:

    Baygirl, good point. That's one guy whose chocolate offering I wouldn't accept. xo

    Daisy, you sweet dog, thanks for popping by. You're right. There are countless adorable boys and girls at the SPCA. We should all pay a visit. =ob

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  21. Love #84!!

    Have a great Sunday!

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  22. Robyn these were the best ones yet!! OMG.

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  23. #85 and #88 are hilarious! And the jumbo moment--ugh, that was during the Super Bowl, right? Cowboys' Stadium has one MASSIVE screen, too. Yikes!

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  24. Codling and actives? I think those two are dangerous...

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