On Why I Choose Celibacy, Reasons #63-70 aka I'll Take the Gawkers

With just 24 days left in the San Francisco Bay Area, and a mere 10 days before Valentine's, I figured it's time to search more intensively. So, here you have it, lifted directly from current on-line dating ads, reasons #63-70 to justify my celibate existence. Enjoy. Someone's got to.

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REASON #63: I like playing my guitar and taking pitchers of nature. This begs the questions: Where do you take these pitchers, and what are they filled with? I love any ting out doors...In the summer I like going to as many Fest as I can, because the music is such a wide verity that I get to meet all kinds of interesting people. PARTY TIME!!!!! You bring the verity of tings in pitchers, and look for me out doors. Keep looking. That’s it. Keep looking.

REASON #64: Im really not very good at telling about myself, what do you say thats not what you ment to say. Say what? What do you men by that?

REASON #65: I would love to be the head of an Abrahamic home which will be characteristic of the 144,000. That’s an awful lotta kids. Have you checked with Kate or the Octomom? The love and respect manifested for each family member toward one another will be a witness to the order and love of heaven. The home I long to be a part of will be despised by Satan, the Gay community and the woman's lib, gay friendly church leaders. Yeah, watch out for those woman’s lib, gay friendly church leaders. They like to gather braless, rearrange the pews and paint them pink…Would you rather wear tight denim jeans that expose the exact shape of your body like a whorish woman or would you rather please God and your husband by wearing the beautiful veil of modesty that brings you peace by hiding your beautiful body from gawking men of the streets that do not have the right to look and lust after your beauty? You think I’m stupid? Option A, hands down. A woman needs her dose of gawking, especially when she can barely squeeze into her jeans anymore. But I can tell you where to stick that beautiful, modest veil in a manner that will bring me peace.

REASON #66: Bad ass mofo from the 313=Detroit. Honestly, this one tempts me. I do value my life, though. Momma Fargo, will you kindly join me (in uniform)? I'm not packing.

REASON #67: I don't have anything else planned today, let's get drunk! No thanks, hon. I’m going in search of the bad ass mofo from the 313. Cheers to you.

REASON #68: I have a broken life. My Motercycle is broken. My boat is broken. My heart has been broken meny times. I am lonly and bored. Could realy use a friend (female) that wants to do things like go to a movie, live show, concert or just go to the park. I like to going camping, fishing, ect. as much as watching a good movie at home. I play games on PS2 as a passtime. I don't go to the nightclubs much but, I love to dance. This is really, really sad. You added an unnecessary comma in that last sentence. Waste brings me down.

REASON #69: Hobbies--- Balloon sculpting , underwater baskit weaving , star trek convention coordinater , standup comedian , rock star stripper. lolololol, No really tho --- um , Hmmm? lets see, I like to makeout . lol  I’m afraid I don’t deserve such a witty man.


REASON #70: So here is my deal I asked Santa for a girlfriend this year, and thinking I was pretty good I thought he would grant my Christmas wish but alas here I am still single and hopelessly looking. So I am now turning my relationship future over to Cupid.hope he dose not fail me too…i have a nice but at least big enough for Cupid's arrow to hit me ouch that would hurt. If that happens I won't be sitting down on our first date…I also feel that I am unique as a man because I am always trying to figure out what a women want's. At this point, a woman’s just looking for a mofo who can write a normal ad or find a friend to write it for him.