1) She excuses herself to go powder her nose for the next 3 weeks.
2) Curiously, every time you dial the number she gave you, a piercing FAX machine noise shatters your eardrums.
3) She says she hasn’t felt this way since she was stuck with cousin Morty as her prom date.
4) She tells you she wants to wait for the right moment to have sex...with someone else.
5) She cancels a date to watch The Jerry Springer Show in syndication (alone).
6) She cancels a date to watch The Jerry Springer Show in syndication (with Jerry Springer).
7) She introduces you as "Um, what's your name again, dumb ass?"
8) She drop-kicks you across the room, shouting, “Get lost! My ex-boyfriend is here!”
9) She says, “It’s not you, it’s me.”
10) She says, “It’s not me, it’s you.”
LOL!
ReplyDeleteThat list is hysterical. I love number 7.
This put a huge smile on my face!!!
ReplyDeleteI loved this! I can really relate to it!
ReplyDeleteHow about: all phone messages are replied to with texts? (I ashamedly have done this)
ReplyDeleteThanks TS, I hope these never happen to you, especially #7.
ReplyDeleteGlad to make you smile, Ca88 and Alice.
Life, yes, texting is - or should be - a clear sign, dude!
Cheers,
Robyn
lol! love #4!!
ReplyDeleteI never had these problems. As soon as I ever snagged a woman, I chained her to my bedpost. Gotta show her who's boss from the outset, you know?
ReplyDelete;)
I've never had these problems um either. Yeah, that's the ticket.
ReplyDeleteOMG----a road map to me kicking dirt bags to the curb----where you been all my life? This coulda' saved me a lot of problems a few months back..Jiminey Crickets maybe I am too nice!!
ReplyDelete#4 is mine.....alllllll mine....evil grin
Too bad ten was the limit.
ReplyDeleteThere's the one who answers the phone, tells you she's her sister and that the other one's gone off to become a nun in a cloistered convent.
A cold, hard, direct, honest approach to relationship. Next time don't sugar coat it.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, I love 9 and 10!! And I agree with all of the signs you've mentioned here ;)
ReplyDeleteThese are great! Too funny. Can you even believe Springer is still on? Sorry about the tangent there.
ReplyDeleteTales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing
Sarah, #4 is frequently applicable, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteOh Ian, and I still thought you were nice Jewish boy - even after seeing the photos. Now, I must say, I'm impressed, dude. BTW, did you unchain your poor wife yet?
Copyboy, can I still believe in you as a nice Jewish boy? Ian's fallen from the ranks.
IS, #4 is yours, hon. I'm claiming #8 myself.
IT, yes, there are so many more signs, like the phone fraudulence game. Thanks for giving that one a plug.
Yes, KW, the direct approach is best. I'll enjoy the sugar on my own.
Thanks Sarah.
Ally, I know. It's rather disturbing. Isn't it? That show is as bad as it gets.
Chocolate kisses,
Robyn
- She talks openly about bodily functions.
ReplyDelete- She’s really busy with school/work/feeding her goldfish.
Guys, take note!
Ahh Robyn.. If I can make it on to such a list then I've done my job well!! :)
ReplyDeletePeace and Love to you :D
Signed: The "Perpetual" Bachelor, Aion
Good list, o wise one of chocolate.
ReplyDeleteLuckily none of those ever happened to me, naturally. Ahem
Good additions, DDG!
ReplyDeletePeace and love back to you, Aion. Keep enjoying the singles life for all of us singletons.
Ahem, naturally, Uber. Thanks. :)
Chocolate kisses,
Robyn
Another, if it's not too late, courtesy of The Checkout Girl (via Twitter):
ReplyDelete"It's not you. It's my ridiculously high standards."
Wow! I've never had any of those things happen...
ReplyDelete