And I Wrote This Book.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Top 10 Signs The Dude's Just Not Into You

1) He says he's interested.

2) He ends the date at 8:30pm, to get some sleep (alone).

3) When you call, he shouts, "Gotta go. I have laryngitis! I'll call you when I'm cured!"

4) In the heat of passion, he stops to read the Bible.

5) When you return to the table, he’s still rambling about his foot fungus.

6) When the dinner bill comes, he nonchalantly pushes it with his elbow to your side of the table - directing your attention to the delightful view out the window.

7) When you start to move in for a peck, he points upwards and says, “Look over there! Hee hee, monkeys always look.”

8) When the lights go down in the movie theater he finally makes a move – but it’s with the person taking tickets at the door.

9) He claims he can’t kiss you because he might be coming down with juvenile diabetes.

10 ) He says you remind him of his great aunt Bertha in Milwaukee. She's a bit plump and plain, but she's always there when you need her.

16 comments:

  1. Have these personally happened to you? ;)

    http://lifebeginsat30ty.blogspot.com

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  2. My husband was the worst. On our second date he made us split the bill saying that in NJ the girls pay for themselves. I was from NY and lived in NYC. I now live here in NJ and everyone laughs at that story. He ended our dates early to go hang out with his friends and I was left home by 9 on a Friday or Saturday because I thought I had plans with him for the entire night??? The list goes on and somehow we're now married and he's grown up a lot, yet after 8 years together, I still think, "He's just not that into me." But secretly, I think he is :)

    Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing

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  3. BAH! Giving a guys a bad rap today, eh? That's ok. It's a good thing I like you :)

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  4. foot fungus? thank gawd he's not into you! eew!!

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  5. I've been accused of 5, 6 & part of 9. Very funny!!!

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  6. Just the sort of things that guys do! I was just reading that they are not fully adult until they at 40!
    Sorry, guys, it looks like it's just not your day!

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  7. Funny!!

    It's your first date, he excuses himself to go to the rest room and never comes back.
    Yes I did!

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  8. Hahahaha oh wow, Robyn, you made me laugh so much on those ones!! Oh, the number 5 was priceless, and what's there to say about 9?! I'm still laughing!

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  9. @Alice - Who says 40? They haven't got out enough. I'll never see 40 again and for certain there's a long way to go before maturity.
    Oh! You don't mean ripe. Okay, I'll let it slide this time.

    @ Robyn - Foot fungus is original. #9 is a classic. Can't say that I ever felt the necessity to go to any of the extremes you mention. Been awhile since I dated. I will have to file these in case some time I am ever asked about extrication methods.

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  10. Who knew---I believed them every time!! Slapping forehead with palm,,,,,oye

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  11. #4- I've actually had women to stop reading their Bible to have sex with me. True

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  12. I'm not sure about the Bible thing. Reading about the smiting and begetting might help some men to get it up.

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  13. Thanks M.Snack. I'm always thrilled to have visitors.

    Life, there is truth to every joke of mine. Unfortunately.

    Ally, cute! It just goes to show that what we women perceive as a lack of interest might instead be blatant cluelessness.

    Ian, no worries. I'm turning the tables with next post. I like you too.

    Sarah, good point. Foot fungus is not all that endearing.

    Copyboy, thanx. Which part of 9 - the juvenile or the diabetes?

    Alice and IT, I agree with IT: the 40 year mark is being too kind - by decades.

    Thanks Sarah. I'm always happy to make you laugh.

    Pat, I'd like to high-five you on that one (assuming she deserved it)!

    That was a great comment, IS. Don't hit yourself too hard, though. They are the idiots.

    Blase, that is because you are a god. Who needs the Bible when they can have you?

    Good point, GB. It's a rather lustful, scandalous piece of literature.

    Kristy, glad to make you laugh.

    Chocolate kisses,
    Robyn

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  14. hahaha! What a loser. Get rid of the bum

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