Dear Silly Ones,
How are you?
I hope this finds you having a decent (or better) day.
I thought I'd bring you a few Celebrity Book Fails. They didn't all get bad reviews, but I reviewed the reviews. From there, I posted amusing comments that did well to capture general sentiment.
Tell me, please. I'm not a big Idol fan. Is that his resting Idol face? Does he ever smile? Could that be why he dances alone? Just curious.
Be well, and be good to yourselves.
Seriously...I'm Kidding by Ellen DeGeneres
Most reviews that were negative included "I love Ellen but..." This is one of them.
Great Book...I'm Kidding February 15, 2013
I
cannot wait to become famous so I can write a "book" of scattered
thoughts and drawings to color so I can have it published and sell
millions of copies. In one chapter she has
fakfjgdifjd with a "whoops, I had my hands on the wrong keys", another
was just drawings to color, which was very annoying since it was the
Kindle addition. There were some amusing things, after all, she is
Ellen. I hope in the end of the book she didn't reveal the secrets
of the universe because I stopped reading.
Heart to Heart by Britney Spears
December 5, 2001
This
book is full of bubble gum talks, come on, can she be sooo nice and
sweet, this book made her look very dume and stupid, very immature and
childlish.
Heart to Heart by Britney Spears
December 5, 2001
Well, reviews reflect the readership drawn to the celebrity. Right?
Billy Idol has a book. See above. Who knew? It seems as though he actually wrote it too. Reviews are mixed but mostly good actually. That said, I'm posting a couple of 3-star comments that I found entertaining.
Dancing With Myself by Billy Idol
Billy likes to bang lots and lots of girls,,, and I guess some other stuff...
November 30, 2014
Billy Idol has a book. See above. Who knew? It seems as though he actually wrote it too. Reviews are mixed but mostly good actually. That said, I'm posting a couple of 3-star comments that I found entertaining.
Dancing With Myself by Billy Idol
Billy likes to bang lots and lots of girls,,, and I guess some other stuff...
November 30, 2014
Perri Lister, his
girlfriend who actually was well known back in the 80s, gets no
development. He says all the time how much he loves her, but why? She
is simply a cipher.
February 26, 2018
February 26, 2018
Billy's
story is drugs, sex, and, in a minor way, rock and roll. Yes, I know
the order is wrong, but that's how it is in this biography. Billy did a
lot of drugs. Congrats, Billy, but it gets boring quickly. The big insight here is that drugs are bad. This is not new.
Sadly I suspect they made bucket loads of money anyway. If only 'real' writers had the same success.
ReplyDeleteMy sentiments exactly. Sigh.
DeleteHugs to you, EC.
The Ellen one is funny, both in the review itself and the coloring book part. Yes, sad they all made a ton of money.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, Billy Idol always looks like that, even when he sold insurance before becoming a rock star. Pretty sure he was on drugs then as well.
HAHA. Thanks for the insights, Alex. They add to the humor. Billy Idol: Embittered Insurance Salesman turns Rockstar Upon Discovering Crank (or something like that).
DeleteMy new favourite word now is "childlish."
ReplyDeleteI knew that word looked wrong, but I didn't even realize why. What the 'l'?! Ha. Thank you for pointing this out, Debra. (I can hear Cindy Brady saying "Stop being childlish!")
DeleteYes, resting sneer face. Some celebrity books are poorly written and not terribly enlightening. I do tend to get celeb books from the library and not pay for them myself. I do like Ellen - I'm going to give her a pass - she's whimsical and just seems like a nice person.
ReplyDeleteHave a good week, and now you know - create a random color book, etc. You could raise the bar!
I love Ellen's wit, and it seems clear to me that she didn't write that book. But she did pay for and approve it. Come on, Ellen. Seriously.
DeleteThanks for your input, Joanne. Glad you won't pay for this stuff. Not sure I wanted to create a coloring book, given Kanye's are out there to compete. Yikes.
I love Ellen- her standup show that she did recently was awesome.
ReplyDeleteI also love Billy Idol with his sneer and all. I always think of him when he had a small part in the Wedding Singer with Adam Sandler. That tells me he has a funny sense of humor.
Not a fan of Britney Spears but i will pass on the book , especially if its dume! LOL
As a general rule, Holli: Bypass what's DUME.
DeleteSmiles.
Thankfully, none of these books are on my TBR pile. BUt I’m surprised by Ellen’s review, but I am not going to read it, so if she holds the secret to the universe, we’ll both miss out.
ReplyDeleteSigh. It's disappointing that Ellen would stoop to this - as if she needs the money and doesn't care about her reputation. Well, she doesn't on both accounts. But why'd she go and bother? Or create a good book, so we can know the secret to the universe.
DeleteThanks, Jeff.
Britney Spears wrote a book? I didn't know she could read. Oh, dear. I'm not very nice. Billy Idol always looks grumpy. Kanye West usually does, too, but occasional a photographer catches West with a grin.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
You learn something new every day. But there's "writing" and there's "writing." Not sure she knows that the word has a "w" in it.
DeleteLove.
Maybe she rote a book.
DeleteThat Billy Idol actually wrote it is a stunner. Most can't write which is why they have ghostwriters. (And in the case of Snookie's book, I doubt she could even read it.)
ReplyDeleteIt does appear to be written by him, and, yeah, that is shocking. But the sentences are long-winded existential philosophical nonsense that make him sound very wise - to the less wise. You know what I mean? He knows how to cater to his fans. Then again, why won't he smile?
DeleteIt's sad really that these types of celebrity books are out there. It is obvious that they do well because of the author's celebrity status rather than their writing talent. I like Ellen. I would have thought her book would have had more to offer.
ReplyDeleteThat's the most disappointing one of the bunch, Connie. Thanks for weighing in.
DeleteThe only one I might read would be Ellen's, because I think she's really funny and because she is also, I think a decent human being. Goes to show, not everyone can write a book I guess.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I do have a feeling, Sandy, that she paid someone (too much money) to write it for her. Ellen has a sharp wit, and I can't imagine she'd write a non-funny book. I could be wrong. I've been wrong once before. =)
Deletesdgadhfhsf sorry, my other hand was busy while typing this comment.
ReplyDeleteHaha, now THAT was funny Pat. And you didn't hire a ghost writer to type it. Though I bet your cat took over the keyboard. =)
DeleteBilly Idol. Yes I was a fan back in the day. He did smile but he always had that sneer thing going on. His book sounds pretty good actually. Bang lots of girls. I mean what other endorsement do you need? hahaha. As for Britney Spears. Hm. I didn't realise she knew how to type. She certainly knows how quickly to rip up a piece of paper though, like the certificate of her very short marriage. Surely some world record! That was a pretty dume move 😆
ReplyDeleteTwo or three short marriages, no? I don't know. I lost track - not that I was ever keeping track. Have a hard time keeping track of my own short marriage.
DeleteLove ya.
They used my picture for the Billy Idol book!! I want some royalties.
ReplyDeleteKeep waiting, PTM. It's in the mail with that chocolate cake, buddy.
DeleteSmiles.
I liked Billy Idol's music a little bit in high school. I had one of the albums. One of my friends from that time posted a picture of her and him on her Facebook page. He looked like a wax statue (not that I've aged great either, but he really did look like he was wax, but it was real!!). Hi Robyn. :)
ReplyDeleteHi, Rosey. You made me laugh. A wax idol? I can see it. I bet he/it was sneering too.
DeleteAm I the only one not surprised by Ellen? I don't think of her as one who is sweet and fun but a complicated negative person if we knew her personally. She reminds me of a former friend who is so caustic, albeit very witty, that i want no part of her any more. If she can make a buck, she will and may even enjoy the dumb asses who buy the book. I am thinking that is what she says to Portia. I firmly believe she has a dark side but keeps it well hidden behind her comedy. Iccchhh, I went serious there. Britney wrote a book? Is it a pop up Dick and Jane book? See Britney try to dance. See Britney look like a hose (Hose??) See Britney shave her head. Ahhh, Billy Idol who actually came to my University the first year I attended-He must have needed the money for his drugs. He reminds me of a derelict brother from the Thunderbirds. He looks like a mangy puppet doesn't he? Too bad they "write" books and sell tons.
ReplyDeleteso, no need for me to read "I'm Kidding by Ellen DeGeneres."
ReplyDelete