One Rainbow Tribe in an Orange World (but only for now).

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Please Will You Not Be My Neighbor?



   As you guessed, Dears, Dude Three and Skanky are an item. What irks me most is the knife in my back. She’d been very friendly. I’d confided in her about the breakup. I even told her that he has a bad temper. Clearly, she has zero standards. And all the while, they were moving in on each other. (I’d casually introduced them once before.)
   I mean, really? If I wanted to live on Melrose Place, I’d live on Melrose Place. It’s actually a complex in Jackson, Mississippi. So, no thanks. 
   Although Chico feels like a small town to me, it’s nearing 100,000 people. There are plenty of other single pot-smoking boozers out there. (They both are. In fact, that double bonus category seems to include everyone around here except me.).
   Furthermore, he moved in with her immediately. As in, my new neighbor is Dude Three. Isn’t that special?
   I found this all out when she posted a photo of them holding hands on their first date, bragging about her new boyfriend. Although tempted to respond to the post itself, I didn’t and don’t want to be connected to either of them. They look(ed) like juvenile dorks.

   I messaged her: “You’re dating my ex? I would NEVER date a friend’s ex. That’s inappropriate and awkward, especially after I was so nice to you. I confided in you about our breakup, gave you homemade fudge and latkes for the holidays, we practiced together for the show, all the while with you two starting something?! I feel betrayed and disrespected by both of you.”
   Skanky: “We didn’t get together to hurt you. We hope you can find a way to heal and manifest your beautiful spirit.”
   Me: “I only have one thing left to say: Karma. It’s real. Ciao, neighbor.”

   I hate driving by his car daily. I hate parking next to her car every day. I hate the sight of either of them. But I do like the fact that my presence is surely uncomfortable for both of them too. Plus, I’m thinking of leaving condoms on his windshield. Why? Because he hates them.  
   They deserve each other.  Karma’s in the fact that they're together. And thank goodness it’s not me he’s coming home to.

   How about you? Ever have this type of neighborly situation? I welcome any and all advice.
   Regardless, please be well and take care of yourselves.
   Have a great week, my Sillies.

47 comments:

  1. Sigh.
    I am so very sorry that Dude the Third is indeed Dude the Turd.
    And hope that karma has a field day with both of them.

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  2. It's not nice to do an end-run around Annie Bidwell, especially a portrayer as lovely and capable as you. As for your question, I must go back to my bachelor days and remember --yes, it happened to me. Time heals because it contains all possibilities.

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    1. Nice. Time does contain all possibilities. I appreciate your sentiment, Geo.

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    2. Dear Robyn, I feel presumptuous --because, not privy to all data-- saying this, but #3 seems to fit a lot of requirements for classic con-man profile. Couldn't retire tonight without mentioning what's been on my mind since commenting. Be very careful, my friend.

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    3. Thank you, Geo. Yes. I fall for the charmer, the con artist. And when I realize this, I end it - versus move in with them. Well, I did that once and never again (that was the ex husband). Really appreciate you for visiting again to impart your wise perspective. He's dodging me.

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  3. Oh Robyn that is absolutely horrible! Skanky and Dude Three are assholes. And what a shitty reply from her. But you're right in that they deserve each other and your presence will and surely causing all kinds of awkwardness. Chin up lovely! Continue to be the best you and let Karma continue to do her work. She's not finished with them yet. :)

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  4. Damn, figured they were a thing but moved in together? Soap opera central. Hopefully they both get bit in the arse. I'd enjoy keeping it awkward, hopefully then they'd move. 100,000 is small? Damn, what's 5000?

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    1. Well, it's relative, Pat. I grew up in Los Angeles - the size of a small-ish country. So yeah, 100,000 in the greater area seems small. Or maybe it's because I see the same small group of people everywhere I go. And my ex is a neighbor.

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  5. They live next door to you? That is really awkward. Just keep waiting for Karma. It will happen.

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    1. Not immediately next door, but close enough (6 doors down). Same apt complex, and the structure is such that I see all of my neighbors when they leave or enter.
      Thanks, Alex.

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  6. That does stink. But keep the higher road. You are better off and indeed, karma will take hold. Big sigh for you. Take care.

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  7. She wasn't much of a friend and he wasn't much of a boyfriend. They deserve each other.

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    1. Ha! Yeah, it does. Thank you, Wilma.
      I hope you're well.

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  9. Wow. Just wow. She's definitely a backstabbing skank. No doubt about it. They deserve each other. When their honeymoon period wears off and she sees his true colours I'm sure she'll boot his ass out.

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    1. I love that you have venom towards them - it's affirming. Thank you, friend.

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  10. "We didn’t get together to hurt you." No, maybe they didn't, BUT I'll just bet they've had a few laughs concerning the subject since they got together.

    "We hope you can find a way to heal and manifest your beautiful spirit." That "take the high road" response can really get under your skin, can't it? What she actually said was "We're complimenting you after you sent your bad note to us, so we're automatically better than you are. So there."

    I hope they totally ruin each others lives by the time they have their inevitable break-up! And I don't even know them!

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    1. Exactly, Silver Fox. All of it. So patronizing the "we didn't get together to hurt you." No kidding. Well, actually, he did, because I broke up with him. They had plenty of laughs, I'm sure, too. He things he's king of the neighborhood, making all the single ladies happy. The gardener might be next. I should warn her.

      And that "beautiful spirit" thing - yeah, they want to make nice, as if they did nothing wrong. They're better than me, in their own deluded minds.

      I appreciate your anger - you're a good friend!

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    2. Well, I was just being honest. If her email had actually sounded even a little bit sincere, I might have left a comment like "maybe you should give them the benefit of the doubt..." but no. I'm just not buying it.

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    3. Yes, I appreciate that. At first I naively read it as "Oh that's sweet." Then I thought, wait. WTH? She's taking no responsibility for doing anything wrong. It was thoroughly patronizing. It wouldn't have taken much for her to explain that she was really sorry, believed he might be "the one" or other b.s. =) But she wouldn't even do that. Thanks again, SF.

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  11. Oh my, so sorry you have to deal with this situation and with them. My best advice would be to avoid them as much as possible and focus on doing things that make you happy. Let the two of them enjoy each other's miserable selves. You are better off without both of them in your life.

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  12. They are but turds in your life. Too bad you can still smell them from where you are, but eventually they will compost back into the dirt they came from. You'll be okay.
    An old girlfriend and I drifted apart once and a while later an old friend and roommate asked me if I was okay with him asking her out. Not entirely, but I told him to go ahead. They knew after about one date that they were too different to pursue anything. I still have much more contact with her forty years later. :)

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    1. See, guys are respectful enough to ask each other. That's very thoughtful of him. Women can be far more vicious. Then again, of course guys can too. This woman is a piece of...work.
      Thanks for your support, my friend.

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  13. There are many things you would love to do and when we see things like that in movies or tv, we laugh but, in reality, it won’t do much except make you feel worse because the end result is that they are still together. I have been there and it hurts but I didn’t love the guy I hated the fact that he led me on and I fell for it. He’d give me the load of crap which left me dangling but he jumped right in with someone else and did everything I was hoping he would do with me..it hurt my pride. I would walk tall, ignore them and give the eyes of don’t give a shit. Ultimately, there not worth your effort and time. It sucks that they are right beside you but I still say to stand tall

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    1. You're so caring and wise. Thank you. I have read and taken in your words several times, Birgit. I appreciate you.

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  14. I believe when one does bad karma to another, that karma will surely return to them, for my wife and I have seen it time and time again!

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    1. I believe it, too. It just doesn't happen as quickly as we'd like it to - sometimes.
      Thank you, Lon.

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  15. Like attracts like, so it's no wonder these two are together. You deserve much better than this, Robyn. I've been betrayed in the past; pretty badly, too. It is a horrible feeling. Thank goodness for divorce :)

    I know it's hard to believe, but this too will pass. Taking the high road seems almost impossible at this point but as long as you are angry at either one, you are still emotionally committed and they have control over you. They are not worth that energy.

    I'm sorry you are going through this. You are a kind and loving soul, and these two are not. Sending you heart healing hugs xo

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    1. I'm very touched by your words, Martha. You're right - I'm still letting them have control over me, and they're certainly not worth it.
      I am and will be fine.
      All this care and encouragement helps.
      Thanks so much.

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  16. There will come a time, in the near future you will see them fight or after a fight and you can feel that sweet breeze from the top of Mount High Ground. You dodged a bullet here and you deserve only the finest monkey love which I suspect he was lacking in providing.

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    1. Thanks, babe. Well, the lovin was pretty good but it was early in the relationship. We were only a honeymooner thing. Even so, everything quickly became about his own terms. So any monkeying would've been denied me. So yes, the view from Mount High Ground is damn good. Mounting's a good thing, on my own terms. Whatever that means - it sounds scandalous, right? Love ya. Thanks.

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  17. You gave her homemade fudge and latkes and she dated your ex? Shame. She clearly didn't get the code.

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    1. I know. I really wanted that fudge back, but they probably inhaled it immediately.

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  18. So sorry you have to go through this. It's pretty common though, for associates to get together. It's generally not the stranger in the next town, but those closest to us. It sucks right now, but don't let them take any of your time and energy. You will only be filled with bad feelings and you will suffer the most in the end. They don't deserve your time, energy and emotions. Being indifferent is the best thing you can do to them, and for yourself, even if you're not feeling it. Show them what strength of character youre capable of.
    These shitty feelings will pass. You're better off without both of them.

    Breathe. Be kind to yourself.
    Love to you Robyn.
    xo

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    1. Ah, thank you, dear friend, for words worth re- and re-reading.
      Love to you as well.

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  19. Sounds like an incredibly awkward situation...this is why you should stick to cats

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    1. Pat would agree to that.

      Thank you, OE.

      PS I'm sticking with no cats, dogs, or even plastic plants. (Batteries, though.) Sorry - too much info?

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  20. Wow. That is awkward. But who knows? Maybe they're perfect for each other. You will get something better, because you're the better person.

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    1. Solitude is much better, and -yeah- they are what they deserve.
      Thank you, Sherry.

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  21. Although it may be awkward for you, I hope the knowledge that they don't stand a chance with each other helps a bit...

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    1. I keep thinking that, waiting for their explosion. It keeps not happening, Pat. At any rate, thank goodness I have no relationship with either of them any more.
      Thank you, kind friend.

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