One Rainbow Tribe in an Orange World (but only for now).

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Spring Kugel, Reasons for Celibacy, Matzah Crack

Dear Sillies,
   Alas, spring hath sprung. With its entrance, may your spirits be lifted. I always appreciate - as much as rain is needed in California - the feeling of the sun warming my face.
   And we've a few holidays around the bend. My people celebrate Passover soon. We Jews love a good kugel too; during Passover, that would take the form of a matzah kugel. By matzah, I'm referring to a very bland big cracker. By kugel, I'm referring to a mix of tasty things - like quiche, only enjoyable.
   That said, on with my kugel post...

   Naturally, my favorite way to flavor matzah is to drown it in chocolate. We playfully call chocolate matzah "matzah crack" --it's that addicting.
   This store bought Israeli Chocolate Covered Matzah, though, missed the mark. The chocolate was chipping off in large pieces, and there's not enough chocolate to drown out the non-taste of the tasteless matzah. Thus, I was disappointed. I'd have to give this a 4 on a 1-10 scale. The intent was sweet, and it's kosher, but don't be tempted to buy this product.
   I do very strongly advise that you find and devour some home-or-bakery made matzah crack. You will LOVE it. I promise. 
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Otherwise, Dude Three and Skanky are still neighbors. I'm working, friends, on being tall - as you suggested. I've gotta tell you, though, it's not easy. Nor is it natural for me. In fact, it's simply not possible. Have you seen me? I'm only 4'8". But I love you, and I understand the sentiment, so I shall keep working on growth.
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And finally, three more reasons for a straight, single gal like me to remain celibate. What's in bold was lifted directly from personal ads. What's italicized was added by me. Enjoy.

REASON #18: Looking for down to earth girl next door. 
Dude, did you think to knock? If that doesn’t work, try the doorbell.

REASON #19: Goals dont have any  
Somehow, I’m not motivated to pursue you.

This one, Mr. Cemeteries, is my all-time favorite.
REASON #20:  need to drop about 20lb Don't drop it on your foot, babe. That could hurt. like to meet some one to see the sights with have a good dinner with, to go any further than that it all depends on the cemeteries we have, Really? ‘Cuz mutual cemeteries can kill a relationship. I think if the cemeteries is good the rest can fail. I take it you're both a planner and a plotter, is that right?

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   Take care of yourselves.
   Keep a smile and a stash of the sweet stuff.


35 comments:

  1. Chocolate can make almost anything better. As long as it is good chocolate and liberally applied. That said, I don't think even my chocolate loving self could consume the chocolate necessary to make Reason 20 palatable.

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    1. No amount of chocolate will do for that purpose, EC.
      Thanks for the chuckles.

      Delete
  2. So homemade crack is best, check.

    Wants to take you straight to the grave, sounds a bit clingy.

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    1. Ha! A dead-ringer, for sure. You all have the best responses. Should've consulted you first before writing my own.
      Thanks, Pat.

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  3. Happy Passover to you, Robyn. Cemeteries? Good grief. I don't even know what to say to that. Was he trying to say chemistry? Either way, my advice would be to run away from him as fast as you can! Wishing you a peaceful weekend. :)

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    Replies
    1. Good grief, indeed. Smiles.
      Have a great week, Connie.

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  4. Happy Passover. Goals might be overrated? Nah. Matzah crack sounds tasty if done right. Enjoy!

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    1. When done right, it's amazing.
      Thanks, Joanne.

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  5. Any guy who writes "cemeteries" for "chemistry" is, without a doubt, a serial killer.

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    1. Haha! PERFECT, Debra! Best and most accurate comment regarding Mr. Cementeries. Comment gold.
      Thank you.

      Delete
  6. Number three is a Winner! At least if he bores you to death, he knows the right cemetery to take you to.
    Romantic.

    xo
    ps remain tall...as you can possibly be. :)

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    Replies
    1. He's a planner and a plotter, than Mr. Cemeteries.
      Thank you, friend. xo

      Delete
  7. Chocolate matzah? If not for your review I might have succumbed to the temptation. The nearest source of such a thing is at least 120 miles from here so it wasn't likely anyway.
    As far as your personal growth all I can say is that you can't fight genetics (and win). I think you'll be fine if you stay away from guys whose first date plans include matching cemetery plots (I read between the lines). He might dig you a little too much too soon.

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    1. Ah, digging...great pun, Jono. Love it.
      Be well, and don't make the 120 miles trek. It's not worth it.

      Delete
  8. Chocolate Matzah? I need to let a few friends who are into chocolate know that. Happy Passover, is that appropriate to say? I'm not sure. We've been really cold and it doesn't seem like spring at all. Was only 24 this am at 9am. Haven't made blog rounds in far too long. Hope you're doing well.

    =Sandy's Space

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    1. Thanks for dropping by, Sandy. Yes, it's appropriate and nice to wish someone a Happy Passover. Thank you.
      Sorry it's so darn cold over there.
      Stay as warm and well as possible.

      Delete
  9. Too bad about the Chocolate Covered Matzah. It does look good, though.

    #18 Your answer! HAHAHAHA

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    1. Thanks, Martha. Some things shouldn't be harder than knocking on the neighbor's door, right? Geeze.
      Smiles.
      Have a great week.

      Delete
  10. The cemeteries? You need to own land with dead people?

    If I stand really, really tall, I can hit 5'3".

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    1. I guess he does, else the relationship won't work.
      When I stand on my step stool, I'm 5'7". Sorry, didn't mean to get competitive. =)
      Be well.

      Delete
  11. I think the texture and taste of matzah was developed by some forward-thinking individual who said "Someday, someone will invent cardboard, but until he or she does, this ought to approximate that taste."

    And I'm gonna give Mr. Cemeteries the benefit of the doubt and say he screwed up the word "chemistry" so badly, his spell-checker suggested "cemeteries" and he went with it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm laughing. True about the parallel between matzah and cardboard. Thanks for that.

      I know. Funny thing is that he spelled cemeteries correctly, so spellcheck didn't notify him. He figures he's a professional cemetrist (or something of the sort).

      Keep a smile, SF.

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  12. God you gotta love autocorrect. lmao!!! When I was a kid my dad would buy matzah crackers, butter them and pack them in my school lunch. I loved them. I should pick some up. Do you buy the plain ones and then pour your own melted chocolate on them?

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    1. That's sweet of your dad.
      I haven't tried to make my own chocolate matzvah. I need to - but it's gotta be good quality chocolate, to create that crack (i.e., addictive) effect.
      Take care, JoJo.

      Delete
  13. I have never had chocolate matzah. I'm seriously going to have to find some. Now you have me wondering how addictive it is. Have a good Passover! (You can't really say "Happy Passover," right?)

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    1. Sure, "Happy Passover" works. It's a celebration of freedom and time to be happy. Thank you, Sherry.

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  14. Wow. I've never had chocolate matzah. Hope your spring is "spring-like". Most people are complaining about the winter not leaving yet.

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    1. We're seeing clear skies and feeling the sun - with bouts of rain too - here. I'm not complaining.
      Be well, Lux.

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  15. Yes! in California we are getting good weather...

    Please vista: http://from-a-girls-mind.blogspot.com

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    1. We Californians are very lucky for that, and a good number of other things. Smiles.

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    2. PS Thanks for visiting and commenting, Krishna.

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  16. Hi Robyn! I've eaten Matzah and did find it to be very bland. If I see the Matzah "crack" I'll give it another try.

    "REASON #19: Goals dont have any
    Somehow, I’m not motivated to pursue you."
    That is a classic response!

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    1. Thanks, Pat. Yeah, he's too unmotivated to use punctuation too. Talk about apathy.
      Happy Easter, Pat!

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  17. Chag Pesach sameach, dear Robyn.

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    1. You speak and write in Hebrew! Is there no end to your talents, Geo?
      Todah rabah. (Thank you, but you probably know that.)
      Chag Easter. =)

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