Happy Tuesday. I hope you're doing well.
Once again, I bring you more reasons for a woman (for example, me) to choose celibacy in these strangest of times. Taken directly from internet dating ads, in bold, and my responses, italicized, may these bring giggles and a sense of relief for your relationship status.
Take care, my friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REASON #403:
Psst,
it’s not a secret once it’s posted on the world wide web.
REASON #404:
hello
weird socially-lacking
girls
hello
man too stupid to figure out why his life is lacking in female companionship.
REASON #405:
Solid
rep. Not your average jo.
Realer than most.
Not tryna impress
nobody. yet highly
intellectual, and well-versed in it.
Well
versed in what, Einstein? Tryna be a real solid rep of a Joe with no “e”?
REASON #406:
I’m
fairly certain I already dated this one before:
Will
only do things that I can
do with my dog; after I brush his teeth I let him lick my face. Tiny
dog. Ok? Okay. Oh
honey, if I’m gonna do a threesome doggie style, I prefer no dogs allowed. PS
Tiny is not okay.
REASON #407:
kiss
me im fun ??
no
thanks im done ??
BWAA HAAA HAAA Wow...these people really expect to get dates with those profiles?
ReplyDeleteHaha! I know, right, JoJo. I thought of you too, when I read the "Real Jo's" words. He seems to lack the intellect to know that a male Joe is spelled with an "e". Dateless weirdo.
DeleteDidn't that guy have a large dog before? Guess it was too much bitch for him to handle...
ReplyDeleteHAHA! ALEX, kudos for your funniest comment yet! Thank you for the hearty laugh too.
DeleteI'm telling you, keep working that funny angle. You're very good at it.
In other words, the dog comes first! And probably in every connotation of that phrase. Ewww.
ReplyDeleteI can't stop laughing. You're all so hilarious. And yes, Deb, EWWWW!
DeleteOy, thank you!
You're both funny.
DeleteDebra's comment made me laugh. Watch out for tiny dogs.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
They're a lot worse than big fat ones, right, Janie?
DeleteLove.
They all need an editor. And the brains to hire one.
ReplyDeleteRight. They probably think an editor is something you find at the end of a pencil.
DeleteTiny dog? Tiny hopes. And tiny hands.
ReplyDeleteSo glad that these individuals are firmly backing 'truth in advertising...'
They don't even try to hide their tiny hands, EC.
DeleteThank you for making me laugh.
And, obviously, tiny brains!!
ReplyDeleteSo tiny, they think they're well versed in...something. Idiots. Lol.
DeleteHope you're well, Fishducky.
The highly intellectual one must have typed that standing atop a staircase.
ReplyDeleteThat kinda takes love me, love my dog to a whole new level. Which one's top dog? Would doggie style then be a dog and pony show? Yeehaw!
Clever, Pat, especially the "top dog" question. Oh my, I'm getting great laughs from my silly readers/friends. This batch of comments is the best. I can't say the same for the batch of dud(e)s.
DeleteThe last one sounds very defensive about his tiny dog, Robyn. Do you think he's dated women who laughed at it?
ReplyDeleteReal Jo's don't like tiny dogs, GB. It's difficult to use a microscope in the dark.
DeleteI like #405. If male, then he certainly is not your average Jo.
ReplyDeleteGood point, Geo. You're good about finding the positives wherein there are none to be found.
DeleteOh my...yup I wouldn't bother with these men because you're realer than all of these men...men?? If the guy who owns the dog also owns a sheep then the Himane Society needs to be called. Secretly writing this...I think the guy Who is looking for socially awkward women is probably looking for the guy who owns the dog.
ReplyDeleteHaha. I should do some matchmaking and connect awkward man to dog man, but only if this isn't a sheep involved. That would just be wrong.
DeleteThanks, Birgit, for joining this silliness.
Haha! Oh my. Those are slim pickings, for sure.
ReplyDeleteAny slimmer, they'd fall over when I exhale from behind my computer screen.
Delete=)
Some creative person should advertise editing services--they might have a good living (and you'd have to go further to realize that they don't live up to their good grammar).
ReplyDeleteYou'd think someone could profit, but I don't believe these men think they need help. They're "well-versed in it." Whatever it is.
DeleteDo people not take a second look before they post something on a dating site? Take a second draft, guy who proudly declares his beastiality fetish.
ReplyDeleteRight. Or have your tiny dog give a tiny look before you press publish, moron. Why are people so weird, PVP? Why, I ask. Why?
DeleteAre they all tryna find their density?
ReplyDeleteGood question, Jono. With a tiny dog, the search is real.
DeleteGo with the intellectual one. Let him wax the poet in you.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather let him wax his own poet, Elizabeth - if he can find it. ;~)
Deletesometimes it's too "realer". Best to stay home with your favorite chocolate. Are there really that many intellectuals out there? Tough call on the best pick. Thanks for a good laugh.
ReplyDeleteSo many well-versed versatile types out there. Oy vey. My head is spinning.
DeleteAnytime, my friend.
You're just too 'gooder' for them, Robyn :) I bet the dog is traumatized, too.
ReplyDeleteOh I didn't even think about that, Martha. Poor tiny dog.
Delete=) Thank you.
#405 should pay a visit to Dunkin' Donuts.
ReplyDeleteTheir coffee is not your average joe.
Is it your average jo? Well-versed in intellectual real socially lacking tiny dogs? He NEEDS to visit.
DeleteThank you for visiting, Al P.
Let me apologize for the male gender...
ReplyDeleteGood stuff Robyn!
You're a rare find, Pat.
DeleteThank you.
Oh my God - its hard to believe people this stupid exist.
ReplyDeleteReal intellectual indeed.
It's enough to make anyone celibate. Oh hang on, I am. Mmmm.
Thank God for good people, such as you Robyn dear... and books!
xo
And so many of them. The human species keeps devolving, it seems.
DeleteThank God for you too. And books and music and things created by the non-stupid.
xo
Hello everybody.
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