A life by chocolate entails finding sweetness in the light and dark. Moreso, it's about addiction to cocoa. An insatiable sweet-tooth doesn't hurt. Well, not until the yucky tartar buildup and stuff. To the point, I strive to make you laugh like never before, cry in a good way, and hoard all the fair trade chocolate I haven't yet found. Thanks for sampling Life by Chocolate. I hope you keep coming back for more.
And I Wrote This Book.
Sunday, January 31, 2016
Reasons for Celibacy #376 -383: Lord's Pick // Giveaway Announcement!
And now, onto reasons number 376 through 383 for a straight single gal to avoid the dating swamps in favor of eternal celibacy. These ads represent the options. It doesn't get much worse. And yet, neither does it get much better. As usual, what's bolded is lifted directly from on-line dating forums. My snarky comments follow. Please enjoy...from afar. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REASON #376:HelloAsk
me a thing you want Okay, will you give me a nice, big, dark man or piece of chocolate?
REASON #377: You
further down, sweetie, and I’ll see the Earth’s core or Uranus.
My favorite of this bunch:
want the Lord pick the girl for me!
the Lord undoubtedly has a high-speed Wifi connection, but I’m guessing the
Almighty ain’t reading this ad. Try increasing the
font and see if that works!
REASON #379: looking
for a fun girl country or other
“other” leaves the field wide open, so that’s a good strategy. As far as “fun
girl country,” I’m thinking you’d do best to stick with the free world: US,
Canada, or a Chippendales bachelorette party in the Swiss Alps.
with a hint of Kanye
that’s like saying anorexic with a hint of Oprah, or civilized with a hint of
Trump, or sexually desirable with a hint of Martha Stewart. It just doesn’t work.
REASON #381: i
do not get the meet me,send mesge
do not get it either, babe.
look to hard
that’s what I’ve been doing wrong! Whenever I look to hard, it goes soft. Thank
you! You’re a genius!
this mean you are marginally, practically, or secretly Female? Not that there’s
anything wrong with that, sweetheart. We're all on the spectrum.
Keep a smile, my friends, as we enter a new month.
In February, our staff and crew like to collect as much Valentine's Hate as we're able. So we're sponsoring our annual Hate Love Sweet Package GIVEAWAY! The next string of posts will be dedicated to the GIVEAWAY. Winner will receive a generous package of sweetness.
Rules: (1) Be a follower --of my blog, that is. (2) For the next week or so (I'll announce that here) submit in the comments section your best and most humorous hateful Valentine's message in UP TO AND NOT MORE THAN 50 WORDS. Flattery works for me, so don't hold back, BUT I'll put it up to public vote. I'll make the deciding vote, if needed. It's kinda your standard cooperative communistic dictatorship. Wink. (You like that, CW?)