And I Wrote This Book.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Robyn Asks Kris Jenner The Real Questions and Makes her Tantrum: IWSG

My computer went on strike last night. I'm happy that it decided to work for the moment, especially because it's time for the IWSG ~ Insecure Writer's Support Group, the brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh. It's a chance to support each other and express our writerly insecurities.I've somehow morphed that mission into interviewing the rich, famous, and stupid. Here we go...
Caitlyn and Kris Jenner: How Can Exes Have Opposite Views of the Same Marriage?
Robyn = black bold / Kris = pink background

Today, my friends, I'm welcoming Kris Jenner, Mom-Manager of the Kardashian clan and ex-wife to the woman formerly known as the man and Olympic Gold Medalist Bruce Jenner, now currently known as the woman Caitlyn Jenner. See photo on the left.

Come on out here, Kris! Kris Jenner, dressed in all black, walks onto the stage tearfully and sits on a bar stool. She notices that nobody is in the audience, and there's no bartender to bring her a drink or seven.
Yeah, thanks for coming, Mrs. Jenner. I mean, Bruce Jenner's ex-wife. I couldn't get anyone here. They're all at the stage next-door. Caitlyn's talking about his, I mean her, Vanity Fair photo shoot. So what's the most upsetting part of the whole thing for you, is it--Kris breaks in while Robyn's talking--Well, he, he, didn't tell--Robyn breaks in while Kris is talking--I bet it's that his, I mean her, breasts are perkier than yours, right? 

Or is it that you weren't woman enough for him to want to stay a man? 
Kris begins to wail.  
I'm sorry. This is obviously a very touchy subject for you. Your mascara is running all over the place. Good God, you look terrible! In fact, that botox lip job is horrid. Caitlyn's mouth looks much sexier. Don't you think? Robyn holds up a huge photo of Caitlyn, placing it next to Kris' face, as if to compare. Kris wails louder.
I know. I know. But is this really about the fact that he's, I mean she's, getting more attention than you now?
No, It's not that. It's, I just don't know what to believe anymore about our marriage and --Robyn interrupts-- Look, b*tch! You were never nice to him. I mean, her, but she was a he when you were married to him, so I think it's okay for me to say him, given the timing of the him-to-her-transition. Now you're acting all, "I'm so jilted because my ex-husband turned into a woman!" I mean, yeah, it's a weird concept to swallow. On that note, did you ever...? Never mind. I have a hard - pardon the pun - time with it too. There's something awkard and creepy about this Bruce-to-Caitlyn thing. If it were truly a private decision, why is he insisting on his, I mean why is she insisting on her, TV show and all the hoopla and...Well, hot damn, her breasts look pretty good. Don't you think? Kris is now face down on the floor, tantrumming loudly. 

Robyn laughs at her and mocks, Baby talk, baby talk! It's a wonder you can walk!  Next, Robyn turns to the camera. 
What do you think, folks?



52 comments:

  1. Interesting interview, and I agree, you can call her him if it's before he was a she.

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  2. I've seen real photos of him/her/it and that Vanity Fair shot is so Photoshopped. The real person looks weird and creepy.

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  3. She is uglier than her. Him. Whatever. So creepy...

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  4. Caitlyn trumped Kris even without photo shopping. The long flowing locks beat a butch cut any day of the week!

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    1. I agree, and I agree with everyone's comments. =)

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  5. Her ex-husband had a sex changer operation? That's amazing, but she shouldn't take it personally. He, I mean she, is probably a lesbian. They were probably both lesbians when they were married, come to think of it.

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    1. I don't know about the lesbian theory. They were a hot couple years ago when they married, GB. Then he lost interest. But she was so mean to him. Now she's acting like this is all about her. It's strange and stranger.

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  6. Even though I've often felt like a elf trapped inside a beautiful, wonderful, woman's body - I can't see getting an ear job! Heck, I'm only happy I'm not a trapped orge - like Caitlyn.

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    1. I have the opposite problem, Dixie. I've often felt like a beautiful, wonderful woman trapped in an elf's body. Darn the luck!

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  7. Most of the transgender people I know are always much, much happier after transitioning, so best wishes to Caitlyn!

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    1. Thank you, ladies. I agree. I know a few.
      I've been watching all the media mayhem, though, and it seems as though he/she planned every minute of it. Plus,...well, I just can't look at the former Olympic athlete the same. That Vanity photo is unsettling. If you're going to go through such a tremendously dramatic life change, why make a public performance of it? It doesn't seem right?

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    2. Oops. I didn't mean to end on a question mark, or did I? Smiles.
      But I also want to say that she's talking about it as though anyone trapped in the wrong sex body should do it, never mind the fact that 99+% of the population has to live as they are because they aren't million/billionaires like him/her.

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    3. I couldn't agree more, Debra! A close family friend I had grown up with, has transgendered. She told me it was a living hell, once she opened up to me before her surgery.... Funny. I have no problem at all seeing "her" as a her. Sometimes nature goofs.

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  8. Kris is just upset because she would have had another closet of clothes to rummage through. Then again, Caitlyn probably takes less time to get all the makeup on to look decent. Actually Caitlyn looks less butch then Kris. On the other hand I thought he/she kept his junk because he still likes women. How would women want to go to be with Caitlyn? Ick I mean she/he spells Caitlyn with a Y-that is just stupid

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    1. You always make me laugh, Birgit. I heard that Caitlyn is now sharing clothes with Kim. Yep, Kris is jealous.

      The "y" spelling is a weird California thing.
      -Robyn =)

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    2. Oh looky-I just put my foot in my mouth which I do routinely:) Byrgyt signing off

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  9. I think she looks fantastic and good on her for finally living the life she has wanted for years. Caitlyn that is. I wish the Kartrashians would crawl back under a rock. Cannot stand them. One of my blogger friends blogs extensively about how her husband of 30 years made the transition to a woman, from Scott to Diana, and they are still happily married, despite the many challenges, ups and downs that they both faced. It must totally suck to live a lie and feel trapped in the wrong body. I'm all for it. But I'm a little confused as to the assumption that Caitlyn is a lesbian. Has she actually said she wants relationships with women now?

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    1. Wow, that's a truly strong couple, JoJo. Good for them.

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    2. PS I don't think she's said either way, JoJo. I assume Caitlyn wants relationships with men now.

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  10. Hey, he/she needs to spotlight to pay for the medical bills, maybe?

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  11. I am so glad that Caitlyn isn't Kaitlyn. That would be kreepy.
    And wish her the best in the life I suspect she has wanted forever.

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    1. That's a good point, EC. I'm glad she went with a "C" name.

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  12. Weirdest family circus I've ever seen! Fun interview! Oh the drama!

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    1. That's a good way to summarize it all, BB. Thank you.

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  13. Hey Robyn,

    What say I put one of the vague comments down like um, "Interesting blog". A great way to not actually read a blog but hope that somebody follows back on their blog.

    Where was I? Oh yeah, great post! Thanks for sharing! Following!....

    Hmmm....has one ever been a broad? In this case, one seems to be continuing on working on it. Nice interview, strange, but nice. Whatever turns ones crank to make one happy has to be the decider.

    All the best to that former Olympic athlete. I remember him, her, so well.

    Hugs,

    Gary :) x

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    1. I know, Gary. It's SO ANNOYING. Funny thing is, she just posted about annoying comments on her blog. Oy vey. It's all rather "interesting." Right? If people want a new follower, because they think they're all that, they should simply click "follow" on another's blog. It's that easy. They don't even have to read the posts.

      Hugs backatcha, whenever needed. =)

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  14. No one has mentioned Caitlyn is 65. It's not fair that Joan Rivers is missing out on this. I know you were never a fan, but she would've loved how she chose a better surgeon than Kris.

    Julie

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    1. Excellent point, Julie. This would've kept Joan Rivers in business (with good material) for years. She would've been raging jealous too.

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  15. She looks rather nice in my opinion :)

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    1. I agree in that she looks a lot nicer than Kris. Mainly, I'm mocking Kris here. I'm glad she did was he/she did for herself. I don't agree with her way of publicizing it, so it makes me skeptical about the whole thing.

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  16. you captured the circus perfectly. This is the real "American Horror Story". Funny that the new Bruce/Caitlyn does look like Jessica Lange. It's all so bizarre.

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  17. I've lately reached an epiphany (not the bringing gold, frankincense, and myrrh to the Little Baby Jesus kind) regarding Caitlyn Jenner. As a result, I won't be making snarky comments about her anymore. Except....she IS sporting a right nice pair of knockers, though, huh?
    Sorry, Robyn, sometimes I just can't help myself.

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    1. They are nice knockers, Al. Wish mine were so perky.

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  18. For so many years I thought people were referring to the Star Trek aliens, the Cardassians. I hadn't been aware of Bruce Jenner since he graced the front of cereal boxes. That said, Caitlyn is pretty hot for an old broad. I had an old friend Bill that was into motorcycles when we were young and pretty much a regular guy. About the time he turned 30 and got a PhD in marine biology he started wearing his wife's clothes. Eventually he became Shannon and teaches at a California University. She is married to a guy and is very happy. I wouldn't wish a gender identity problem on anyone in our culture and making the change so publicly is beyond my understanding. Unless they can't live without a lot of public attention which to me signifies some basic mental illness. But that's just me.

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  19. Caitlyn doesn't look 65. She looks great in my view.

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    1. I was hot for Bruce when he won the Gold Medal, and much of the country was. When he was a Kardashian, though, he looked terrible. Marriage to her was not good for him. Now, she looks better than he did during the K-saga. And yeah, much younger.

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  20. Robyn,

    I found you interview SOOOOO entertaining... Thanks for the laugh. I really needed it!

    Hope all is well with you! AND, enjoy your weekend!

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    1. So glad to make you laugh, Michael. I miss you. Thanks for dropping by!

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  21. I have no such scruples as Al, but I have stayed away from the thing because that's what you do to attention whores. However, were I to comment (and have a meme maker), the pic of B/C would say, on the top: "It's the women that caused this", and on the bottom: "Kanye you're next".

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    1. Excellent comment, CW. People are acting as if she/he died and is suddenly perfect, simply because otherwise might mean they're trans or homophobic. I'm anti-attention whores period. Caitlyn is decent AND has issues AND is trying to heal herself by gaining tons of money from the media frenzy. That AIN'T cool. But my bigger beef is with Kris. Oh and Kanye too. They are just not nice people.

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  22. I had heard that this show is bitchy but when I was told that they got the knives out, I didn't realize they'd caused so much damage!
    Ah I havent been following it; good luck to him/her/whatever, but no wonder with all of those self serving, famous for nothing bitches around - enough to give any man a crisis of identity!

    Btw, Kayne is a fuckwit. Cant wait for that little mountain to topple. And there's no amount of cash could make him into an acceptable woman... ewww - what a gross thought.. i think i just did a little poo in my pants....

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  23. Well, I don't follow Kardashian drama, so I am/was unaware of Kris Jenner and her personality. Reading this, I'd say she didn't come off so well on the show. I think if you can't let go of the bitchy side, you really shouldn't be on a TV show. Just sayin'.

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  24. Too much limelight for all of them from my perspective. I don't care if he's a he or a she, the whole lot of them are a bit sick. Why people watched their shows is beyond me and why this is news is also beyond me.
    Sandy at Bridge and Beyond

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  25. Caitlyn definitely looks better than Kris. Where the hell did Kim get her looks from? It sure doesn't seem like it was from mom.

    Also, now that everyone's applauded Caitlyn, can she and the rest of the fame-whoring Kardashians just go away? Like, put them all on a rocket, tell them it's a new reality show set in outer space, and then just shoot them into the sun?

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  26. Good for him/her on living life the way he/she feel confident. Live and let live. But I really wish this whole damn family would just take their millions and get the hell out of the public eye. I've started unsubscribing to any email that mentions this family, and am going to start doing the same on my Facebook to any company or friend who constantly shares this shit. I am so over this family, who contributes absolutely nothing to society.

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  27. Applause to all of you. Thank you for your perfect comments.
    Enough is enough!

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  28. I haven't read such a politically incorrect interview since Nevada Jack interviewed Michael Jackson's Umbrella Man... Good job and I am blessed to so seldom watch the networks when there is anything other than sports

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  29. I honestly haven't really paid too much attention to this. I will say, however, that she looks much better as a woman than she did as a man.

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