And I Wrote This Book.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Benjamin Franklin Returns: IWSG

Hi, Friends. It's time to unleash our writerly insecurities and support each other's craft. Our good friend, Alex J. Cavanaugh, launched this group years ago and it's still going strong.


My head is swirling with lots going on, including a soon-to-be-released novel, so I'm cheating with this post. I'm bringing back my most popular IWSG post of all time. He's legendary. He's inspiring. He historical, so historical that he's 225 years old. Ladies and Gentlemen, let's warmly welcome Mr. Benjamin Franklin!
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Ben Franklin strolls on stage, decaying and fraught with cobwebs, yet extremely polite.
 
Robyn is too anxious to talk. Trembling, she takes a large stride towards him but then slips and falls on her butt at Ben’s feet. Oh *bleep*! God, I mean *bleep!* I’m so sorry. Ben chivalrously helps Robyn stand up. A red-faced Robyn extends a hand to offer a formal greeting. Ben instead confers a fist-bump and Robyn reciprocates. They then bump hips playfully and plop down into their respective La-Z-boy recliners.

Ben: Not to worry, a slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.

Robyn:  Um, yes, well my tongue slips too, but only on very rare occasion. *Bleep!* Oh sorry, I think I’m just nervous. I mean, you’re Ben Franklin, philosopher, author, inventor, American diplomat and all-around hero who’s been dead for 225 years.

Ben: My dear, fear not death for the sooner we die, the longer we shall be immortal.

Robyn: Good point.  On behalf of all Americans, Ben, I wish you a happy Independence Day. We have so much to thank you for. I don't know where to start.

Ben: No need for platitudes. Where liberty dwells, there is my country.

Robyn: I see. Well this is my Insecure Writer’s Group Post for July, so I'd like to ask for advice for all of us writers who struggle with insecurities.

Ben: Certainly.
If you would not be forgotten
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worth reading,
Or do things worth the writing.
Robyn leans in closer to Ben's face, appearing to listen intently. Instead, she is lost in a heated sexual fantasy involving Ben, a feather-dip pen, and no electricity --with not a thought to the fact that Franklin died 225 years earlier.  
Ben continues, with clarity but no logical string of thoughts:
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber. 

Interrupting (she likes young doctors), Robyn says: Thank you so much, Mr. Franklin. I hope to see you again, frequently and often. She flings her hair back, stands up, gives him a wink and nuzzles Ben's arm as she escorts him off the stage and towards a nearby Motel 6. 
 
Ben Franklin continues:
By my rambling digressions, I perceive myself to be growing old.
He’s a fool who cannot conceal his wisdom..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear blog friends, whether or not you celebrate Independence Day, may you appreciate our countless freedoms – including and especially our limitless opportunities to express ourselves through writing.

Keep writing things worth reading and doing things worth writing.

YAY FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY! WOOHOO!

Happy July 4th!

Thank you, Ben Franklin ~ 1706-1790. May you continue to rest in peace.
The italicized quotes above were found at www.quotationspage.com, jpetrie.mywebluga.edu, and www.goodreads.com/author/quotes.

49 comments:

  1. Is it wrong of me to think that necrophilia never sounded so good? Wrong or not, I thought it.
    Yay for marriage equality. And all the writers who feed this greedy reader's obsessions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought it too. I'm a sick, sick gal.
      Thank you, EC.

      Delete
  2. I'd hate to think of your response to Walking Dead........

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good thing I didn't see it, Jac. I'd need to be restrained.

      Delete
  3. Benny Franks! Always with the quick wit and witticisms. As you lay with B. Frank, let me know how his...uh...lightening rod still works. You can start by using one of his lesser-known inventions, the urinary catheter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really? He invented the urinary catheter? He's brilliant and deserves flowing credit for that one. It saved my life once after major surgery. Will give you the update, Pickleope. He's dead now (again); I must've worn him out (again). Ew, I'm a gross, sick woman! Sorry.

      Delete
  4. I always like to see Ben Franklin in my back pocket... but I always end up pimping him out for something else. He was quite a lady's man in his day so you better be careful (or enjoy). Happy 4th!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right, Sage. He disappeared on me. He mentioned something about riding naked with Lady Godiva. Go figure.

      Delete
  5. I wish I would see Ben in my wallet more often!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. I don't remember the last time I saw him on a bill.

      Delete
  6. I guess you two are about to go do something that's worth writing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know, Alex. He said Lady Godiva was waiting for him. But he left his spectacles here. I think he did that on purpose.

      Delete
  7. Ben was always quite the ladies man. Wink Wink. Happy 4th of July, Robyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Joanne. I was hoping for some sparks around here, but it looks like it'll be a nice quiet evening of reminiscing for me. Happy 4th to you!

      Delete
  8. You may want to get old Ben an air freshener or two before getting fresh lol you'll be the talk of the town.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good idea. He'll like lavender scented Febreeze. Don't you think?

      Delete
  9. Happy July 4th! And also, Ben would reciprocate your flirtations....I've heard he was quite the ladies' man!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That explains why he took off running, spewing a lengthy list of names...Betsy, Lady Godiva, Caitlyn, Lady Gaga...

      Delete
  10. He's totally one of my great heroes too. Loved reading all his quotes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His wit was phenomenal. Maybe that's why he was such a heartbreaker.

      Delete
  11. Ben was a wise and witty fellow, but I'd have to draw the line at someone being dead for 225 years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's good to have standards, Daisy - or so I imagine.

      Delete
  12. I wonder what else is full of cobwebs or may fall off?? I am just saying there may be mothballs down there and he may not be able to deal with your slip of the tongue

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, I should've set him up with Martha Stewart, right?!

      Delete
  13. Ah, fireworks with Ben. lol Happy 4th! Go forth and write!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Go forth and write!" Love it, MPax. Thank you. Happy 4th!

      Delete
  14. Have a great fourth! I shall celebrate my nation by consuming smaller quantities of beer and larger quantities of uncured hot dogs. I may not have a fool for a client, but I certainly have one for a dietician.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet your dietician eats uncured wieners too, CW.
      Happy 4th, my friend.

      Delete
  15. I'm glad Ben could take time out from his busy schedule to talk with you, and that his gout and syphilis didn't get in the way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no, syphilis? Oops...It's a little late to learn that. J/K. I'm a sick, sick woman.

      Delete
  16. Robyn, my kinky friend. Of all the kinky things I fantasize you might be into, necrophilia is not one of them. Sigh.
    Have a lovely, independent weekend and watch out for old, dead, white guys on money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry to burst your bubble, Jono. I've been told many times (by myself alone) that I'm a sick, sick woman. Wink.

      Delete
  17. I guess he's not really dead if he's immortal, so it's still legal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Phew. I should've known I could count on you to find me a loophole, Diane. Thanks.

      Delete
  18. I love that quote....

    Either write things worth reading
    Or do things worth the writing.

    Fabulous!

    Do you watch the show Sleepy Hollow on FOX? If not, check it out. It just finished its second season. I think you might like it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love that quote too, Robin. It's a big reason I was happy to bring back this one.

      Never heard of Sleepy Hollow, but now I'll look into it. Thanks for thinking of me.

      Delete
  19. Hmm, I always thought you liked them older but damn girl! Ha! Good luck with the novel! Can't wait!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha. Thanks, Yvonne. I can't wait either. I think I'm almost there, but I've been saying that for years.

      Delete
  20. Happy Fourth to you, Robyn! And Happy 4th to Benjamin too. ;) Good luck with your upcoming publish!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Rosey. Good to see you. I've missed you.
      Happy 4th.

      Delete
  21. Isn't he quite a bit too old and dead for you? LOL - I agree, this is your best one. Good advice mixed in too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I appreciate it, Rhonda.

      He is a little too old and dead, but beggars can't be...oh, I'll stop being a sick, sick woman. I'm happy being single. I have no reason to beg.

      Delete
  22. Hehehe...awesome choice...though old!

    All the best, Robyn with the novel!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hey Robyn,

    Ah yes, good and very old Benjamin. Brilliant, bordering on thoughtful. I bet he's just the sort of dude you like to go and fly a kit with during a thunder and lightning storm.

    Yay to same sex marriage. I note a number of right wing American fanatics were so outraged that they wanted to move to Canada. Hee hee, Canada has had same sex marriage rights for over ten years.

    Oh yeah, Happy Fourth of July to y'all, that would be the one after Canada Day, eh!

    Take care, I think I'd better go now....

    Gary :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. I bet Ben was a pretty kick ass guy to hang around with back then!
    Happy 4th to you, Robyn!

    ReplyDelete
  25. This IWSG classic was definitely worth repeating. Lots of great quotes, and your quote fits right in. Now I have to catch up with John Hancock. Something tells me this one will be right up Martha's alley.

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  26. I remember that one. But I always love reading his quotes He's pretty awesome..Happy Independence Day!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. By far, that was the best 4th of July post out there in blog land! You crack me up!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Super post! I loved the dialogue. :)

    ReplyDelete