My head is swirling with lots going on, including a soon-to-be-released novel, so I'm cheating with this post. I'm bringing back my most popular IWSG post of all time. He's legendary. He's inspiring. He historical, so historical that he's 225 years old. Ladies and Gentlemen, let's warmly welcome Mr. Benjamin Franklin!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ben Franklin strolls on stage, decaying and fraught with cobwebs, yet extremely
polite.
Robyn is too anxious to talk. Trembling, she takes a large stride towards
him but then slips and falls on her butt at Ben’s feet. Oh *bleep*! God,
I mean
*bleep!* I’m so sorry. Ben chivalrously helps Robyn stand up. A red-faced Robyn extends a
hand to offer a formal greeting. Ben instead confers a fist-bump and Robyn reciprocates. They then bump hips playfully and plop down into their respective La-Z-boy
recliners.
Ben: Not to
worry, a slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.
Robyn: Um, yes, well my tongue slips too, but only on
very rare occasion. *Bleep!* Oh sorry, I think I’m just nervous. I mean, you’re
Ben Franklin, philosopher, author, inventor, American diplomat and all-around hero who’s
been dead for 225 years.
Ben: My dear, fear not
death for the sooner we die, the longer we shall be immortal.
Robyn: Good point. On behalf of all Americans, Ben, I wish you a happy
Independence Day. We have so much to thank you for. I don't know where to start.
Ben: No need for platitudes. Where liberty dwells, there is my country.
Robyn: I see. Well this is my Insecure Writer’s
Group Post for July, so I'd like to ask for advice for all of us writers
who struggle with insecurities.
Ben: Certainly.
If you would not be forgotten
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worth reading,
Or do things worth the writing.
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worth reading,
Or do things worth the writing.
Robyn leans in closer to Ben's face, appearing to
listen intently. Instead, she is lost in a heated sexual fantasy involving Ben, a feather-dip pen, and no electricity --with not a thought to the fact that Franklin died 225 years earlier.
Ben continues, with clarity but no
logical string of thoughts:
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools
do.
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
Interrupting (she likes young doctors), Robyn
says: Thank you so much, Mr. Franklin. I hope to see you again, frequently and often. She flings her hair back, stands up, gives him a
wink and nuzzles Ben's arm as she escorts him off the stage and towards a nearby Motel 6.
Ben Franklin continues:
By my rambling digressions, I perceive myself to be growing old.
He’s a fool who cannot conceal his wisdom..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear blog friends, whether or not
you celebrate Independence Day, may you appreciate our countless freedoms –
including and especially our limitless opportunities to express ourselves through writing.
Keep writing things worth
reading and doing things worth writing.
YAY FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY! WOOHOO!
Happy July 4th!
Thank you, Ben Franklin ~ 1706-1790. May
you continue to rest in peace.
The italicized quotes above were found
at www.quotationspage.com,
jpetrie.mywebluga.edu, and www.goodreads.com/author/quotes.
Is it wrong of me to think that necrophilia never sounded so good? Wrong or not, I thought it.
ReplyDeleteYay for marriage equality. And all the writers who feed this greedy reader's obsessions.
I thought it too. I'm a sick, sick gal.
DeleteThank you, EC.
I'd hate to think of your response to Walking Dead........
ReplyDeleteGood thing I didn't see it, Jac. I'd need to be restrained.
DeleteBenny Franks! Always with the quick wit and witticisms. As you lay with B. Frank, let me know how his...uh...lightening rod still works. You can start by using one of his lesser-known inventions, the urinary catheter.
ReplyDeleteReally? He invented the urinary catheter? He's brilliant and deserves flowing credit for that one. It saved my life once after major surgery. Will give you the update, Pickleope. He's dead now (again); I must've worn him out (again). Ew, I'm a gross, sick woman! Sorry.
DeleteI always like to see Ben Franklin in my back pocket... but I always end up pimping him out for something else. He was quite a lady's man in his day so you better be careful (or enjoy). Happy 4th!
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Sage. He disappeared on me. He mentioned something about riding naked with Lady Godiva. Go figure.
DeleteI wish I would see Ben in my wallet more often!
ReplyDeleteMe too. I don't remember the last time I saw him on a bill.
DeleteI guess you two are about to go do something that's worth writing!
ReplyDeleteI don't know, Alex. He said Lady Godiva was waiting for him. But he left his spectacles here. I think he did that on purpose.
DeleteBen was always quite the ladies man. Wink Wink. Happy 4th of July, Robyn
ReplyDeleteThanks, Joanne. I was hoping for some sparks around here, but it looks like it'll be a nice quiet evening of reminiscing for me. Happy 4th to you!
DeleteYou may want to get old Ben an air freshener or two before getting fresh lol you'll be the talk of the town.
ReplyDeleteGood idea. He'll like lavender scented Febreeze. Don't you think?
DeleteHappy July 4th! And also, Ben would reciprocate your flirtations....I've heard he was quite the ladies' man!
ReplyDeleteThat explains why he took off running, spewing a lengthy list of names...Betsy, Lady Godiva, Caitlyn, Lady Gaga...
DeleteHe's totally one of my great heroes too. Loved reading all his quotes.
ReplyDeleteHis wit was phenomenal. Maybe that's why he was such a heartbreaker.
DeleteBen was a wise and witty fellow, but I'd have to draw the line at someone being dead for 225 years.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to have standards, Daisy - or so I imagine.
DeleteI wonder what else is full of cobwebs or may fall off?? I am just saying there may be mothballs down there and he may not be able to deal with your slip of the tongue
ReplyDeleteHaha, I should've set him up with Martha Stewart, right?!
DeleteAh, fireworks with Ben. lol Happy 4th! Go forth and write!
ReplyDelete"Go forth and write!" Love it, MPax. Thank you. Happy 4th!
DeleteHave a great fourth! I shall celebrate my nation by consuming smaller quantities of beer and larger quantities of uncured hot dogs. I may not have a fool for a client, but I certainly have one for a dietician.
ReplyDeleteI bet your dietician eats uncured wieners too, CW.
DeleteHappy 4th, my friend.
I'm glad Ben could take time out from his busy schedule to talk with you, and that his gout and syphilis didn't get in the way.
ReplyDeleteOh no, syphilis? Oops...It's a little late to learn that. J/K. I'm a sick, sick woman.
DeleteRobyn, my kinky friend. Of all the kinky things I fantasize you might be into, necrophilia is not one of them. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely, independent weekend and watch out for old, dead, white guys on money.
Sorry to burst your bubble, Jono. I've been told many times (by myself alone) that I'm a sick, sick woman. Wink.
DeleteI guess he's not really dead if he's immortal, so it's still legal.
ReplyDeletePhew. I should've known I could count on you to find me a loophole, Diane. Thanks.
DeleteI love that quote....
ReplyDeleteEither write things worth reading
Or do things worth the writing.
Fabulous!
Do you watch the show Sleepy Hollow on FOX? If not, check it out. It just finished its second season. I think you might like it.
I love that quote too, Robin. It's a big reason I was happy to bring back this one.
DeleteNever heard of Sleepy Hollow, but now I'll look into it. Thanks for thinking of me.
Hmm, I always thought you liked them older but damn girl! Ha! Good luck with the novel! Can't wait!
ReplyDeleteHaha. Thanks, Yvonne. I can't wait either. I think I'm almost there, but I've been saying that for years.
DeleteHappy Fourth to you, Robyn! And Happy 4th to Benjamin too. ;) Good luck with your upcoming publish!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rosey. Good to see you. I've missed you.
DeleteHappy 4th.
Isn't he quite a bit too old and dead for you? LOL - I agree, this is your best one. Good advice mixed in too.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate it, Rhonda.
DeleteHe is a little too old and dead, but beggars can't be...oh, I'll stop being a sick, sick woman. I'm happy being single. I have no reason to beg.
Hehehe...awesome choice...though old!
ReplyDeleteAll the best, Robyn with the novel!
Hey Robyn,
ReplyDeleteAh yes, good and very old Benjamin. Brilliant, bordering on thoughtful. I bet he's just the sort of dude you like to go and fly a kit with during a thunder and lightning storm.
Yay to same sex marriage. I note a number of right wing American fanatics were so outraged that they wanted to move to Canada. Hee hee, Canada has had same sex marriage rights for over ten years.
Oh yeah, Happy Fourth of July to y'all, that would be the one after Canada Day, eh!
Take care, I think I'd better go now....
Gary :)
I bet Ben was a pretty kick ass guy to hang around with back then!
ReplyDeleteHappy 4th to you, Robyn!
This IWSG classic was definitely worth repeating. Lots of great quotes, and your quote fits right in. Now I have to catch up with John Hancock. Something tells me this one will be right up Martha's alley.
ReplyDeleteJulie
I remember that one. But I always love reading his quotes He's pretty awesome..Happy Independence Day!!
ReplyDeleteBy far, that was the best 4th of July post out there in blog land! You crack me up!
ReplyDeleteSuper post! I loved the dialogue. :)
ReplyDeleteشركة تنظيف خزانات بالمدينة المنورة
ReplyDelete