And I Wrote This Book.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Rogue's Double Chocolate Stout: Don't Try This At Home or elsewhere

We interrupt our Merchant Marine story for this commercial break.
ROGUE's DOUBLE Chocolate STOUT beer...
See its darkness. Notice its shiny red bottle and the words "Double" and "Chocolate" in, respectively, white bold caps and pretty curly font. Hear me when I shout: This one's worthy of a post! Don't ever try it!

I have two housemates, both nice and smart. They know that the best way to keep the peace at home comes down to a three-word motto: FEED ROBYN CHOCOLATE. So I enjoy little chocolate mints left atop my stack of mail, leftover cookies from their work potlucks, and the like.

When Steven came to me and said, "Hey Robyn, you're welcome to try this Double Chocolate Stout," he held up this bottle.

"Thanks, Stephen. I'll review it for my blog. Is it any good?"

"Well, you can kind of taste the chocolate, I guess," Steven said. Note that Steven is very kind and rarely critical.

Still, with excitement, I uncapped the bottle. The color immediately repelled me. See above. The taste? Even worse. Where's the chocolate? I wondered. It's hardly choco-fied, much less double choco-fied. It just tastes highly stout-ified, bitter, strong, and disturbingly gross.

If anyone offers you this *bleep*, pass. If the Beer for the Shower guys, Bryan and Brandon, send you this for their very cool and fun contest win, they probably don't like you. And they are awesome, and you should follow them and read their books if you're not doing so already. And really, I'm only telling you all this because they and I have amazing followers who deserve to be warned. Don't try this crap at home or elsewhere, folks!

With a kind heart, I give Rogue's Double Chocolate Stout an unsolicited 1 on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the worst.
~~~
And now, back to our regularly scheduled program: Me and My Merchant Marine, when Troy uncovers grandma panties under the covers and a puzzled Robyn asks calmly, "Who's are those?"

Happy weekend!

34 comments:

  1. Sad to say, there are some things which even chocolate can't improve. Stout is one of them (though my partner thinks it is delicious). Anchovies are another.
    Thanks for the warning though...
    And, of course, I really, really want to know about the grannie pants.

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  2. I don't drink, can't stand the alcohol taste, so I'd pass even the bottle read, double raspberry - which I like better than chocolate.

    Have a groovy weekend.

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  3. Thanks for the heads up! Bring on the granny panties!

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  4. My husband has had chocolate beer in the house, but only because it came in a variety box of bottles. Not sure if he liked it... he never brought anymore in the house, so I guess nu-uh.

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  5. I have had a couple of chocolate shots made with rum which were good.
    I am not a big beer drinker but I have to say the word beer and chocolate together do not even sound appealing.
    Thanks for the tip on the Double Chocolate Beer!

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  6. So it's like Guinness beer pretending to be chocolate beer? No thanks. Dark beers are disgusting.

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  7. I'm not a beer drinker and never have been, but I did belong to a brew club in Marin County and quite a few of the guys made chocolate stouts. So gross.

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  8. In beer terms, "chocolate" seems to stand for, "much like coffee grounds kept warm for an extended period and re-brewed at least twice." I'll stick with my wheat beers.

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  9. Sounds as nasty as can be, it will forever be avoided by me

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  10. Thanks for the warning, but I'd avoid Stout anyway. Not much of a beer drinker, but beer ever - Le Voltaire's in Paris, near Notre Dame. Voltaire even lived in the same building. The rest of the time we stayed with the local French wines.

    I tried a chocolate raspberry liqueur and it wasn't that great either. Some things shouldn't be mixed. . .

    You do love to leave us with a teaser - granny pants? We know there's a story there somewhere.

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  11. Ahem, that's BEST beer ever . .

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  12. Well, I for one am disappointed... How dare they tantalize us with the promise of double chocolate and then completely fail the task??? I want answers!

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  13. Duly noted. Thanks for the warning! It sounds nasty. I'll stick to just chocolate without the stout please. :)

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  14. When I saw the title, I almost drooled. But apparently it's not worth it :)

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  15. I've tried chocolate Real Ale before. That wasn't good either. Chocolate beer might not ever be good?

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  16. I'm not a beer drinker, the occasional American light beer which is passable, but dark beer, no thanks and dark beer with chocolate, yuk.

    Chocolate liqueurs on the other hand.......

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  17. Ew. That didn't even sound good to begin with. I once made the mistake of ordering a beer and chocolate cake. Not a good combination. But this sounds truly awful. Thanks for the warning.

    Had your grandma been visiting?

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  18. I think this may have been one of the chocolate beers that I've tried before, because the name sounds familiar and that description fits my thoughts when I tried it - ugh, this doesn't taste like chocolate in the slightest. We will NOT be sending this to our winner!

    Also, I love not just the shoutout, but that we're tagged as Bryan Pedas, Brandon Meyers, and Brandon Pedas. Where's Bryan Meyers?

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  19. Oooop...grandma panties? This should be an interesting story :)

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  20. Hey Robyn,

    Based on your review of that double chocolate stout, I reckon grandma panties soaked in water might taste better. Did I really say that? Yikes. LOL

    Hope you had a lovely weekend, dear friend.

    Gary :)
    x

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  21. Okay. No Chocolate Stout on my menu. But can I have the Shag Carpet Toilet. I <B it.

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  22. Yikes! That looks more like cough syrup, and NOBODY likes to drink cough syrup! A big fat 1 sounds well deserved!

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  23. I have not tasted it. Will try one. I love chocolates!

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  24. What? That is just wrong, wrong, wrong! How dare they tease chocolate lovers like that. ;)

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  25. I'm right there with you on the chocolate stouts. I like Guinness, so I (foolishly) assumed I'd enjoy most stouts. We got some sort of chocolate stout once. Once. And it was awful! It wasn't the same brand as the one you tried, and I'm going to guess my brain has blocked the memory of it completely so as not to cause me permanent emotional damage. We ended up pouring it on our compost heap. Nobody liked it.

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  26. Thanks for the warning.
    I tend to try strange things, I'll mark this off my to do list.

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  27. Ummm yeah. That looked disgusting. I'm glad I'm not missing out on anything. Thanks for sacrificing for the rest of us. ;)

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  28. I had some beer that had chocolate notes in it, but I don't remember what kind it was. I have never heard of this one.
    That's for stopping by and checking on me. :)

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  29. robyn thank you so much. see i would have bought this just looking at the pretty red bottle alone. see, goes to show you that you cant judge a book, oops! - bottle by its cover. i love you. i like the fact that you empower you blogbuddies. thanks. cheers!!

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  30. Chocolate Stout and granny panties all in one blog. How could things get any weirder? It puts a twist in my brain that feels good when it stops. I guess neither stout nor granny panties really excite me. Sigh.

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