Monday, June 16, 2014

Me and My Merchant Marine: Granny Panties Under the Covers


Build up to Granny Panties Scene: Troy stresses interest in Robyn's poetry. With her poetry book and an overnight bag in hand –because, um, you never know when you might get stranded overnight- Robyn gets lost trying to find Troy's condo. An impatient Troy calls her. “For a smart lady, you’re directionally challenged.” Robyn argues that she’s in the right spot; they must've mis-numbered the building.
   Alas, Troy and Robyn unite with a hug and quick kiss.
   Troy suggests dinner and agrees to Sipho’s, Robyn’s favorite, for Jamaican food. He picks up tab and impresses with his usual charm.
   Back at Troy's two-bedroom condo, which he shares with roommate Matt, and which Matt conveniently vacated to attend concert, Troy offers a drink."I’ll take a fruity, girlie one.” Troy hands her a pinkish drink, and mixes a gin and tonic for himself. They sit on cozy loveseat to peruse Robyn's book. 
   "Very nice. I want you to sign it, since you're gonna be famous some day." 
   Robyn writes: "Thank you for being interested in my poetry (and me). =) xo." 
   Kissing starts. Arms get wrapped around each other, breathing deepens. 
   Movement to bedroom ensues. 




 
Granny Panties Scene:
As they stand by bed and kiss, Troy breaks away. "I haven't showered today... I'll be quick...Make yourself at home."
   While Troy showers, Robyn changes into blue silk nightie. Receives text from womanizer friend, James: “Whatz up?” She writes: “On date. He's washing up.” James texts back: “Washing up? Then u can do me first.” She's flattered and flustered. Celibate for approximately twelve years, and now two prospective insertions tonight?! “Chill out, dude. Talk L8r,” she writes.
   As Robyn shuts off her phone, Troy walks out, towel around waist. “Talking to your boyfriend?”
   “Just a friend.” Robyn inches closer to Troy, who begins to adjust his plush pillows.
   “Would you look at this!” Troy exclaims, reaching under a pillow. Troy pulls out a pair of very, very wide white cotton granny panties.
  Robyn's head spins from the girlie drink and night's excitement. She fails to fully register the fact that the panties are fit for an elephant, not at all sexy. Another woman? A fairly wide one? Half confident, half perplexed, she asks casually, “Whose are those?”
   Troy shakes his head in disapproval. “Matt did it. We pull pranks on each other.”
   Two grown men acting like silly jokesters. Robyn loves it! “That’s pretty good,” she guffaws.
   Troy walks out with the panties and places one of its very, very big holes around Matt's door knob. 
   Robyn quickly finds herself on Troy's bed with him. They start making-out again and uncover another pair of granny panties, this one under the comforter. Giggles. Then another under the pillows. Joke gets old.
   Panties are tossed onto the camera lens. Audience can't view the rest...Kissing, touching, bodies get twisted and etc. Will it happen? Will there be an insertion? She prays, silently. I deserve it. It’s been so long. I'm a nice lady. I do good. And then – YES!! IT HAPPENS!! It’s in! Halleluj- Wait! Where’d it go? Was that it? Oh well, it happened. Right? Yeah, she's pretty sure. And she's happy.
...
   Robyn luxuriates in awaking with Troy’s arms around her, despite the phonecall that rattles them. 2:30am. Troy takes call. Raucous male laughter blasts their eardrums. “Matt. You prick!” Laughter again. “...She asked whose they were. So whose are they?...No way! Your Mom’s?...Alright. Goodnight, bastard.”

42 comments:

  1. Hmm. Very almost. I hope and trust he found some stamina for later events.

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  2. Yay, Robyn! The drought is over and you've got one less reason for celibacy! A gold star for Troy, but only one. Looks like he got overexcited there, but maybe that was just a first night thing. Do you think he needs a copy of The Hite Report?

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  3. I hope he made you chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. The granny panties were a nice touch! Looking forward to Part III.

    Julie

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  4. What I want to know is... what are you and Troy planning to do to get back at Matt? :P

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  5. BAHAHAHAHA That's a riot!!! Boys will be boys, no matter the age. And congrats on consummating your new relationship!

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  6. Well, close enough, right?
    Troy missed an opportunity to shower with you. Much more fun!

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  7. I believe a congrats is in order :) say goodbye to celibacy!!

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  8. lmao damn, hopefully some stamina came due. No more drought!

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  9. Sounds something of a let down to me.

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  10. Touchdown! High five! Congrats, girl.

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  11. Matt's mom is gonna wonder where all her panties are.

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  12. Actually would have been funnier to have pretty panties.

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  13. I don't know how to comment! Congrats for getting to the next round, the next base "the insertion" but dang Troy! Where'd it go?
    And the room mate guy IDK he may be feeling a little jealous in the bromance department!

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  14. Well, that was an adventure! I think I'd be wary of what kind of pranks between those two might happen in the future. :)

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  15. There's more to this story, right?

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  16. Maybe you should change the name of your blog to "The Girl Who Got Some." Not enough, but some...

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  17. I see from Stephen's double post that I was not the only one whom blogger ate the post of today. To repeat: Better to sleep with mom's undies than with MOM. Congratulations!

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  18. I think Troy is suffering from insufficient amounts of chocolate! LOL. Loved it!

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  19. I honestly don't know whether to be excited for you or disappointed. If you can't feel it did it still happen????

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  20. Robin, I'll take a little of both (excitement and disappointment, that is. Moreso the former. Beggers can't be choosers, and he's a goodone.)

    Good suggestion, Stephen.

    CW, yeah, blogger's been a booger these days (or consistently). I love your comment. Well said.

    Melissa, we haven't conspired. Will we? We shall see.

    I don't even know if Matt's Mom was missing her undies and/or if she prefers to go commando.

    There'ss more to the story, friends. Thank you for the cheer. I'll fill you in. Will he fill me in? Oh my, I am SO setting myself up to NEVER EVER have another insertion again.

    Cheers and smiles.
    Love you, sillies,
    xoRobyn

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  21. Oooh...good stuff. If he also made breakfast in the morning, he's even better :)

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  22. Granny panties? I'd suggest a line of vaseline down the center of Matt's sheets in exchange... There's nothing quite like finding an inexplicable slime trail in one's bed.
    Now let's just hope Troy finds his stamina, but congratulations are STILL in order.
    Oh, and chocolate. Chocolate is always in order!

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  23. Troy looks like he can use some TLC

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  24. Brave. I wouldn't stick around that bed if another's pair of underwear was found. Just thinking about it makes me want to grab the hand sanitizer. :)

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  25. Granny panties... Oh my goodness. That's book worthy.

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  26. In the future you could hang the granny panties on the doorknob as a signal to Matt that you need the apartment to yourselves for the evening! So efficient!!

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  27. Soooo...does he read your blog? :) The never-ending adventures of dating. And the hazards!

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  28. Thanks, sillies.

    David, they were perfectly clean, not yet worn. Come to think of it, that's even weirder.

    Johanna, that's what the college kids do. Isn't it?

    River, I don't know. He hadn't, but perhaps he is reading now. Can I say "self sabotaging"? I think I can.

    xoRobyn

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  29. I feel your pain. I' ve been in the "where'd it go?" dilemma before. ha! You go girl! The drought is over!

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  30. Hangs it on Matt's knob hahaha

    Well, that's one way to get your rocks off I guess! lol

    So, me wonders, how much of this story is true? mmmm

    Either way, I'm glad there was a climax...

    xoox

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  31. 100% nonfiction, Anthony. Well, it lasted two minutes not two seconds. But the granny panties were real, unless I was having a series of alcohol induced granny panty hallucinations.

    Yvonne, haha! Thanks for making me laugh by commiserating.

    xoRobyn

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  32. I hope you made sure you left with your panties. Hard telling whose bed they'll end up in if not!

    Congrats on the home run!

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  33. Yay! ... kind of. Hopefully there's a follow up performance that allows for more time at bat, right?

    The three worst words a guy can ever hear in bed: "Is it in?" The three worst words a girl could ever hear in bed. "I'm not sure."

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  34. Beer Guys, so true. Those three words: not good. Not good at all.

    Theresa, I do have granny panties, but I wasn't wearing them that night and didn't leave with any. Phew.

    Thanks, sillies. xo

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  35. Maybe the Granny panties affected his performance. Good luck next time. Hopefully he performs better.

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  36. I'm an optimist. I'm hoping he was't a "one and done" kinda guy...

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  37. Lol! Wow his roommate...makes me wonder how he got him back. And if his mom noticed all of the missing panties. :)

    Congratulations? I guess something is better than nothing. :)

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