Friday, June 27, 2014

Reasons for Celibacy, #308 - 311 / A Beer for the Shower Win Stifles Robyn With Fear and Paranoia


I will be vacationing from the real and virtual world for the next week and am leaving you with a smorgasbord of posts before my departure. Sorry, but the scheduling of posts thingy doesn't work.
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And now, back to more reasons for celibacy:

Reason #308: What happened to the Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction type of women?
I’m right here, sweetie. Come on over for dinner – white wine and boiled bunny.

Reason #309: IM JUST A LAID BACK GUY LOOKIN FOR A GOOD WOMAN, THAT DOESNT HAVE A TATTOO SLEEVE LIKE 50 CENT OR ENJOY GETTIN INTO BAR FIGHTS WIT MEN ON THA WEEKENDS. LOL BELIEVE ME ITS NOT AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS IN 2013.  Yeah, I imagine it’s even tougher this year, honey. Why just last night at the Tackle Box, the 300 pound security guard looked at me sideways. I took that bastard down. It wasn’t pretty for him, but I had a blast. Got some free drinks and loads of dates too. I can’t wait to hit the Crazy Horse this weekend. The only downside is that I’m afraid we’re not a match. Good luck wit your search, sweetie.

Reason #310: are you here
Yes and no. I’m here, not there. Were I there, you’d see me here. Since I’m here, you don’t see me there. Were you to see me there, you wouldn’t be asking. Are you asking? There’s no question mark after here there. So there you have it. Here’s to you!

Reason #311: NOTIFICATION: Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies, projects, advertising, sales, or any other reason-you DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. Oh, um, oops.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~on a different note:
I'm scared! I won a package of awesomeness from Bryan Pedas and Brandon Meyers, my favorite duo, of ABeerfortheShower. If you know them, you understand my fears. I'm gearing up to open the package...it hasn't yet arrived. I thought I should post this now, for the record. You know, to have witnesses and stuff. [Truthfully, I can't wait. They are so awesome.]

17 comments:

  1. Love that photo! Wait . . . you're not using that as your dating profile pic too, are you?

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  2. Hahaha, Deb, I bet it would get me MORE dates. Afterall, they're looking for the Glenn Close-Fatal Attraction type.

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  3. Love the photo. And your preparedness for whatever will emerge from the package of awesomeness.

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  4. Aren't you supposed to cover your nose too? LOL - great photo.

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  5. So good to see you, Robyn! I have really missed your great writing style and sense of humor.

    =)

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  6. Great picture, Robyn, you look like a surgeon about to operate on an elephant. We'd give you a title if you came to Africa!

    Do you think #311 is a lawyer? If you published his profile photo we could see whether he has a shifty face.

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  7. Rhonda, yeah, but in the time it took me to take this selfie, I had to breathe. I'll put it over my nose again when the package arrives.

    GB, good idea. I'll post his photo. Hey, wait a minute, he sounds serious. I'm going to find another man's ad, one who also looks shifty, to represent me first.

    Cheers, all.
    xoRobyn

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  8. I'd be cautious opening that box!!
    Pass on boiled bunny, thanks.
    Have a great time and we'll see you when you come back.

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  9. lol with that pic you'd be able to score #308 I think haha

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  10. I think that picture would make a GREAT date profile picture.

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  11. Very valid reasons, all! Ha! Love the photo. :)

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  12. Stephen, actually, I should try it. The responses would be worth writing about.

    Thanks, all.
    Cheers to you.
    xo

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  13. Great profile pic! haha -kidding!

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  14. Hahaha...I love that photo! And all those reasons for celibacy, particularly the Glenn Close one!

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  15. I think of Kathy Bates from Misery when I look at that pic. Darling, I know you are not that hard up for a date you would result to the old break the ankles with a hammer trick ;)

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  16. Oh the struggle for these men is real!! So sad and painful...

    Nice picture. :) I concur with using it for your profile picture. That would be awesome!!

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