Saturday, June 22, 2013

Last Week's Baby Naming Discourse Between Kim and Kanye

Imagine the brilliant discussion between Kim and Kanye when deciding to name their baby "North West." They really did. I snuck into her hospital suite last week when they stopped a game of Spin the Bottle to discuss what to name their yet unborn girl. It went down like this:



Yo let's go wid Beyonce, best name of all time!

But like I want Kim Kay.
Check it out! It's a rhyme!

B*tch! That would make her initials be KKK 
She'd ruin my image 
Of a chill Black dude. No way!

So like let's flip a coin.
Do you call 'heads' or 'elbow'?

'Heads!' and I flipped it. 
Where'd that f*cker go?

Like I don't see it now. Guess we both lost the bet.
So then we should name her after the state where we met!

Cool. I like sh*t like that!
She'll be our little L.A.

But we met at a NY strip club
When I was on my vacay!

Then North West it is. F*ck ya, it's agreed!

I so seriously like it. 
She'll never get teased.  

41 comments:

  1. OMG- i just peed my pants! LOL funny Robyn.

    Love ya sweet friend,

    J

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  2. I wonder what her middle name is? Compass?

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  3. I think her middle name is "By North" in an homage to Alfred Hitchcock. Oh who am I kidding? Neither one of them would know who he is, LOL!

    P.S. I give that marriage maybe 6 more months. Maybe.

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  4. Good story! Funny, sad...

    I hope the kid never asks how she got her name but I'm guessing the subject will come up sometime.

    Maybe not. With names like Apple, Pajamas and Asshole (I am not making this up), North West feels kinda, well not terribly odd.

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  5. Just realized I forgot the give the proper pronunciation for the last two names:

    Pajamas: padge-i-mus
    Asshole: ash-ho-lee

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  6. Very funny. It's a mystery to me how or why these celebrities name their kids what they do. Poor kids.

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  7. Very funny but I really pity the baby ~

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  8. Why would anyone think that is a good name. I was all for the rhyme lol

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  9. Hilarious stuff Robyn. The name is just ridiculous, just done for headlines and a news story, that poor child.

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  10. Hahahaha...

    Oh that poor kid! I think having them as parents is worse than the name!

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  11. Hi Robyn,

    I'm glad you are as wildly eccentric as myself. Although, compared to Kim and Kanye, well forget it :)

    And the state they met seemed to be a state of confusion. It does make you wonder about these 'celebrities'. Zowie Bowie, I say.

    Enjoy your Sunday, Robyn.

    Gary :) x

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  12. Love this dialogue.

    When I heard that they decided on "North" I vomited a little in my mouth. Do you ever do that?

    In happier news, I dedicated something to you on my last Thursday post. I am hoping that you missed it (as opposed to saw it/hated it) and chose to not comment out of respect. So... I am choosing "missed it" and will say that I hope you like it:)

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  13. that poor little bub - i just shake my head in wonderment.

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  14. haha that's great.
    North-West, is that for real? I saw the story but had no interest reading it.
    What a pair of douchebags. Perfect for each other.

    Dumb-dumber.

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  15. I seriously just did a search because I thought you were joking about the name.
    I really don't know how to respond to this.

    I do like your discussion. I am sure it is spot on!

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  16. Thanks, everyone. It always makes me happy to make you laugh, smile and/or pee in your pants. (Sorry, John).

    I agree, the poor baby. But North is one of the richest babies in the world, so it's difficult to feel too sorry for her. Hopefully, the nannies and extended family will provide some appropriate role modeling. (?)

    I'm working a lot of extra hours these days, so please excuse my delays in visiting blogs. I'll hop over to yours asap.

    xoRobyn

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  17. bahahaha! hilarious! seriously, why would you name your child that? really? i'm all for unique names (btw, i have a client named "unique") but this kid's gonna get teased like crazy! richpeopleproblems...

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  18. I never realised their verbal communication had risen to that level. I should have guessed their choice was geographic, rather than naming the baby after Oliver North and Adam West.

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  19. You realize that conversation really did take place, don't you?
    Hilarious, Robyn!

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  20. Hahahahaa.... poor baby. But with all their money they could have named it MUD.

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  21. They just want attention, so funny it's sad that they had that convo. You a member of the paparazzi?

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  22. Good thing they didn't name the baby Southeast.
    Cuz that would really be whack.
    Yo.

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  23. I just read David's comment and I have to add the name of a classmate of my niece:
    Shithead.
    It was pronounced "Shi-THEY-ud"
    Yeah.
    No shit.

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  24. I'm laughing because it's funny, and sad because I know how it really went down was not far off from this. But remember, Kanye West is a "jee-nyus," so we just don't understand how brilliant his baby's name is.

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  25. Hysterical !!! I am sure that is totally how that conversation went with maybe the exception of of Kanye worrying about his image...even he must know that no one respects him or his girlfriend.

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  26. Um, maybe they were trying to offer her a direction in life.


    heeheehee

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  27. Hahaha. Well that explains everything!!

    Their poor daughter...

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  28. Adam, I think it's Southeast.

    Debra, they probably think Alfred Hitchcock is the cartoon guy on MAD magazine.

    Yvonne and Al, as a social worker, I've seen some strange names, but they were flattering - e.g., Myangel.

    David, really? Ass-ho-lee?? Oh my. Pajamas isn't nearly as bad.
    Al, really? Shi-they-ud?? I just can't believe someone had that put on their kid's birth certificate.

    Robin, yeah, I vomitted a little in my mouth when I read David and Al's comments. Profane names should be outlawed.

    Cheryl, you're right. Kanye loves to hate and be hated. He still knows he has tons of fans. The only thing bigger than his temper is his ego.

    Alex, it really is. I was there.

    LD, I like that. But it would involve some selflessness and good parenting instincts. I suggest they have neither.

    Thank you, everyone, for chiming in on this absurdity. Poor, rich North West!

    xoRobyn

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  29. oh, poor child...

    that is hilarious!
    xoxo

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  30. hahahaha! You crack me up Robyn!
    Nutschell
    www.thewritingnut.com

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  31. Best post of the day! Even though I despise anything about these two, This Was Hysterical!

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  32. Robyn, absolutely NO KIDDING. Then, there was another kid who was a student of my niece's. HER name was: L-A (spelled just like that).
    My niece, having no earthly clue how to pronounce it called her "Ella" (made sense to me).
    The gill's mother rather indignantly pointed out to my niece that it SHOULD be pronounced "LaDASHa."
    Yep.
    No kidding.
    Whatever happened to Dick and Jane?
    Hmm, now that I think of it, I get the "Dick" part, but...
    whatever happened to 'Jane?
    She went to Hanoi.
    BA DUM BUM'

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  33. A more apropos name would've been Wild West. Great dialogue Robyn!

    Julie

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  34. This couple was made for people to poke fun at. Seriously? What the hell were they thinking?
    Really funny Robyn...

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  35. Thanks, friends. It's still baffling, isn't it? Oy. They supposed explained her name by saying "Nothing is North of North" and she's their "North Star." I'm even more perplexed. One thing's clear: They are stupid.

    xoRobyn

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  36. PS I meant they "supposedly". If I had a penny for every typo I made here, I'd have...lots of pennies!

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  37. I have just downloaded iStripper, and now I enjoy having the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.

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