Hi there! Lifted directly from popular on-line dating sites, and embellished by my italicized snark, I now present reasons 209 through 215 for [not just me but] any straight, single woman to choose celibacy. I am ever shocked by a blatant lack of logic and literary savvy. Somehow, though, they still manage to entertain. Please enjoy.
REASON #209: Searching For One God Woman
I think Oprah’s the closest thing to a God woman you’ll find, buddy. Otherwise, I might suggest Joan Rivers. She’s God’s age.
REASON #210: i like hermit crabs and lice. I like hermit crabs and lice. i like hermit crabs and lice and lice. I eat hermit crabs and lice. I need hermit crabs and lice. I am eating hermit crabs and lice right now.I am eatning hermit crabs and lice right now.
No offense, babe, but you’re a freak who should be expelled to another galaxy. Kindly take your crabs along.
REASON #211: I am interesting in a relationship.
Is this to say you’re dull as a doorknob when single?
REASON #212: Sapiosexual autonomous autodidact
Say what? Homoerectus, carcinogenonymus cardictation back to you, sir.
REASON #213: This one’s photo displays a shiny bald head. Thus, I’m perplexed by his strategy.
short hairy men make better lovers
REASON #214: look to have goob time
Goobers turn you on, huh, babe? I’m a big hunk gal myself, but goob luck to ya.
REASON #215: need a dumb womin
I can’t argue with that.