Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Bringing Hallmark Down One Mutt at a Time

Three years ago, I began a quest to bring Hallmark down in favor of a line of Hallbark cards. Sadly, Hallmark still dominates greeting card aisles far and wide, while nobody but me has talked up Hallbark. So I'm reposting this to revive my efforts, with thanks to Jenny Matlock, Saturday Centus guru. Jenny provided this photo as a prompt. Within 50 words, we were to create a Hallmark-ish Valentine's greeting.

I hope you and/or your dog enjoy this one.

A Hallbark Creation

I’m a sad lowly mutt from Pom Beaitch

With a fetish for dressing in kitsch

They say “Dawg, your singing is pitch!”

Yo, I ain’t no looker, and I ain’t rich

But I really want you for my...



  1. Robyn, I believe you should begin marketing this line immediately. Hallmark ain't got nothing on you, dawg!

  2. Keep pushing Hallmark out, as the sun shines on a dog rumps some days haha

  3. Hallbark cards is a great idea, I hope you can drum up interest for this project.


  4. I believe that is the FUNNIEST doggy picture I've ever seen.

    And Hallbark is pure genius.

  5. I think it's a great concep, dawg!!! lol

  6. Oh this should totally be a greeting card!! Also, I think Hallbark will get there one day. Don't give up!!

  7. Ain't no bones about it, this is great! Hallbark needs you to unleash these creative cards Robyn!

  8. Sad and lowly are perfect adjectives for that poor mutt, but I doubt the fetish is his. The things humans do to their poochified wolves.

  9. Thanks, Chuck. Let the barking begin.

    Pat, smiles, true. We'll (me and my mutt, that is) keep trying.

    Alex, it's a worthy cause, right?

    Stephen, thank you. Give us (me and my lowly mutt) another 15 years.

    David, thanks.

    Keetha, it's nit hilarious?

    Yo Yvonne, thanks for feeling this one.

    BabySis, I must keep faith. Thanks for the reminder.

    Empty, it's a dog eat dog world out there. But I've gotta keep barking up a storm. Thanks for the encouragement.

    GB, that's true. People have bizarre habits with humanizing, or poochifying, their wolves and other living things.

    Keep a smile, all,

  10. I love the card. I swear, the people at Hallmark have the worst sense of humor. Those are the kind of people who gather around America's Funniest Home Videos circa 1990 and think Bob Saget is just the funniest thing on television. We need some new cards with some actual humor, and you need to be the one to do it.

  11. In all honesty Robyn I'm already a bigger fan of Hallbark than I am of Hallmark, there's something about them that I'm not so keen on.

  12. And, if you're a good egg,
    I'll hump your leg.

  13. that first pup image made me literally lol!

    love it:)


  14. I love the picture! He's a great Super-dog. Thanks for the chuckles. :-)

  15. haha
    I love the title and the photo.

    If only you had been successful. Well, I would buy your cards!


  16. BnB, I fully agree. They worship Bob Saget. What a bore. I'll keep barking about this line. Thanks for your support.

    YW, could it be that they lack personality and creativity while making billions off of a holiday that stigmatizes singles everywhere?

    Unknown, thanks, my dear.

    Al, you need not even beg. Sorry, that's all I got.

    Betty, glad to make you laugh. It's thanks to Jenny.

    Vanessa, thanks. It's nice to see you here.

    Lexa, always happy to spread cheer at the expense of a lowly mutt.

    Ruth, he does have an endearing quality, doesn't he?

    Anthony, thank you. Shocking this didn't work the first time. I'm building some steam now. We'll see where it goes. Yeah, right. ;~]

    Cheers, all.

  17. I hate Hallmark. I really hate going in there! That was funny and good Robyn.