InSanity~Normalize, Don't Stigmatize Mentall Illness.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

On Why I Choose Celibacy Reason #122: Mr. Chipper

Some men think they’re all that and a bag of Cool Ranch Dorito Chips. Some just trudge along with three-ton chips on their shoulders. [Please note that I realize many women are this way too. I just don’t date women...not quite yet.]

Back to my point. Let’s attend to one male specimen. We’ll call him Mr. Chipper. Chipper and I met, of course, on Plentyoffish.com. We exchanged a few standard pleasantries.  I told Chipper about my job, my move from the Bay Area, and some of my favorite hobbies. In turn, the Chipster informed me about his chronic medical condition, unemployment, and fiscal woes. 

Here's the bulk of Chipper’s third email to me: So, you've been in Chico for a little over 5 month and you have a job...I know of someone else who was here under a year and got a job. I'm feeling like the girl on the movie Sixteen Candles, where the town person can't get what the new kid in town seems to have no problem with. Oh no you didn’t. You didn’t just reference Sixteen Candles. Did you, Chip?! UN-pre-pubescent-sexually-confused-girlie- boy-who’s-stuck-in-1984-BELIEVABLE!

My restrained reply: Sorry. I’ve had long stints of unemployment too, and I know how hard it is. The fact that you’re getting interviews is a good sign something will come through eventually. Take care.

Chip fought back with this: Thanks for the reply. I'm not sure you want to continue chatting though. I don't see a question for me to answer for you and you close with take care. So do you want to chat/think there is a possible friendship here? I can make it easy for you. If you want to continue to chat write me back, if not just ignore me.

My reply: Just to let you know, I was a bit put off by your comments about me having a job as a town newbie, as if I don’t deserve it or should apologize or something.  Still, I responded with compassion. 
Given our correspondences have regressed to a pretty somber tone, I don’t wish to continue but I do wish you luck.

Chiphead’s next move? He immediately deleted his profile altogether. 
Shame. I have this dedication ready for him. We'll go with it anyway. 
This one's for you, Mr. Chipper:



Posted by Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com
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32 comments:

  1. Alex J. CavanaughAugust 9, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    Where do you find these losers? I'm worried that he feels like a girl...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beth ZimmermanAugust 9, 2011 at 10:00 AM

    Dang girl ... Plentyoffish looks a LOT better on their TV commercials! I'm glad you have a good sense of humor!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gorilla BananasAugust 9, 2011 at 10:08 AM

    Sensitive fellow. Perhaps he should have specified that he was only interested in unemployed women.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Al PenwasserAugust 9, 2011 at 10:24 AM

    All that and Molly Ringwald, too (she'd be in her 40s now).
    After watching that trailer, I'm afraid the Gender Police are going to show up at my front door and demand I surrender my penis.
    Don't be too hard on Mr. Chipper. Must be tough living in his mom's basement.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Pat TillettAugust 9, 2011 at 10:29 AM

    Another Winner!
    There should be a hit squad to find these guys and remove them. You know, to help perpetuate and improve our species...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Laila KnightAugust 9, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    LOL. Your magnet must need oiling. You're attracting the wrong types of guys. I can't believe he deleted his profile. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. RuthAugust 9, 2011 at 11:12 AM

    There are decent ones out there.
    Somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
  8. DuckyAugust 9, 2011 at 11:40 AM

    Suppose he was chatting via his WHITE ROUND ROOM somewhere between medication doses?

    Sheesh...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 9, 2011 at 11:54 AM

    LOL. Thanks, all. He's a freak of nature but I did enjoy watching that trailer. It's a good movie, long forgotten by most of us.

    Al, if you're wearing those tighty whiteys when they arrive, don't worry. Your manliness will be obvious.

    xoRobyn

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  10. Rek SeshAugust 9, 2011 at 12:15 PM

    Maybe u should have mollycoddled him... :) the fishes are out there...u need to move away from the Atlantic

    ReplyDelete
  11. PearlAugust 9, 2011 at 12:42 PM

    A bullet dodged!!

    :-)

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousAugust 9, 2011 at 1:41 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ms. AAugust 9, 2011 at 1:49 PM

    Every time I look at that dating site name, I see "Plenty Offish".

    ReplyDelete
  14. ShanimalsCrackers.blogspot.comAugust 9, 2011 at 1:53 PM

    Ha, his first reply had me laughing out loud. I'm glad you're so honest with these guys, though. You get your point across. If I were in your shoes I would've just ignored him...but then I'm afraid he would've kept asking and asking and asking why I didn't reply.

    ReplyDelete
  15. KalAugust 9, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    If you do start dating women I expect you to be graphic in your descriptions of those encounters. And if you could both wrestle in a library I would like that too...oh excuse me, what was my point? Oh yeh..picky picky picky. I think unlike that fine fellow that you are just afraid to love.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Carol KilgoreAugust 9, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Let's hope he never perpetuates the gene pool. Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting.

    ReplyDelete
  17. NonnaAugust 9, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    No way ! Are you sure this guy was an adult ? What an immature baby...as far as I can tell, another successful escape from disaster...flushing away all traces of him forever was the right thing to do !

    ReplyDelete
  18. Al PenwasserAugust 9, 2011 at 5:34 PM

    Tighty-whiteys make my eyes bug out.
    I'm sorry. I was deliberately exaggerating. Alas, there's so much room I could fit John and Kate Plus Eight in there.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Powdered Toast ManAugust 9, 2011 at 6:12 PM

    I reference Sixteen Candles about each week. Sometimes I slip Pretty in Pink as well.

    ReplyDelete
  20. MarleneAugust 9, 2011 at 6:28 PM

    Oooooh.....that one has a chip on his shoulder as big as a Redwood!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 9, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    Thanks for the laughs. You are all fantastic! I love your comments.

    Kal, the library? Which aisle? Sci-fi or YA Fantasy?

    MsA, Offish is appropriate. I like that.

    Shan, you're more mature. He didn't want a response and I was a bit peeved, so I gave him one.

    Carol, let's hope not! Thanks for the follow. I'm glad to join the Tiki Hut party.

    PTM, LOL. Pretty in Pink? I should be grateful he didn't throw that one into the mix.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  22. SarahAugust 9, 2011 at 6:59 PM

    He behaved like a twelve-year-old and you handled the whole thing not only with class, but with a compassionate slap on his face too. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  23. ShockgrubzAugust 9, 2011 at 9:17 PM

    I'm a male, and I have always identified with Ducky. Call me crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anthony J. LangfordAugust 9, 2011 at 10:16 PM

    ...not quite yet. lol. Maybe soon then!

    Your writing is getting funnier, I swear. These guys just keep giving you so much fodder! haha

    Maybe next time, don't tell them where you live! They scare me!

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. YvonneAugust 9, 2011 at 10:23 PM

    O.M.G.!!! It's like a neverending nightmare! At least, that's how my latest dates have been. lol

    ReplyDelete
  26. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 9, 2011 at 10:25 PM

    Sarah, too funny. I really appreciate it.

    Shockgrubs, Ducky was the best character by far. He's an endearing guy. I would've gone for him.

    Anthony, it's like they know just when I need a good dose of fodder. That's about all they're good for. Thanks for the protective comments. Chico's got about 90,000 people so they'd be hard pressed to find me (and stupid to mess with me).

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  27. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 9, 2011 at 10:27 PM

    Thanks Yvonne. It's good to know someone else is going through this too. Too bad we live in different states. I'd say let's go for drinks and more drinks and then a few more. Plus some chocolate too.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousAugust 10, 2011 at 1:06 AM

    Sorry to hear about your bad luck, but I don't think I could ever choose celibacy

    ReplyDelete
  29. CopyboyAugust 10, 2011 at 11:11 AM

    I love the fact that you have levels to your reply. The restrained one made me crack up since I know you too well. You must've gritted your teeth down to the base. BTW ...is plentyoffish code for jdate?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comAugust 10, 2011 at 11:27 AM

    Timothy, thanks. So it really is better dating women? Hmmm..

    CB, lol. Yes, it's code for "The free version of jdate and you get what you pay for people. Stop k'vetching!"

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  31. Baby SisterAugust 11, 2011 at 9:42 AM

    Haha. That's an awesome dedication. :) If you keep getting the losers to delete their profiles, maybe you'll finally find a winner??



    Maybe?


    <3

    ReplyDelete
  32. My Inner chickAugust 15, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    Chip Head is a Dick Head! Talk about RED FLAGS :) loved this post.

    ReplyDelete

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