What Makes for Greatness? aka Did You Ever Try to Hide A Fallen Cherry Tree in Your Backyard?

While Haiti faces devastation across its people and land, and while human beings throughout patches of the earth witness inexplicable atrocities on a daily basis, one famous American (Heidi Montag, not to mention any names) fights to convince her fans that her decision to undergo 10 plastic surgeries in one day was influenced by God’s will.

Ms. Montag, what I’d like to say to you, girlfriend, with not a smidgen of respect whatsoever but every intention of offending, is as follows: Get your head out of your a-, as- You ask who she is. So do I. The best response I can give is the likely estimate that she’s just another dumb blond famous American. Those four words (i.e., “dumb blond famous American”) typify greater (i.e., lesser) American values. Let's be honest. Did I mention that I’m part Canadian and only partly blond? Well, the blond is gray now, but I do prefer to call it blond. Sorry. Keep faith, my dear reader. Something meaningful is in the works. That’s gotta be true. Right? Somewhere someone in the world is hard at work on something meaningful right about now.

Back to our American value “system,” this blessed nation seems to have (de)volved into a people that worships anyone who (1) generally appears attractive, with blondness a key factor of said attractiveness; (2) was born into a wealthy family; and (3) has a strikingly limited quantity of active brain cells.

Further, it appears to help one’s reputation to, say, produce a pornographic video that will naturally be released by the ex upon the inevitable break-up. Another means for enhancing one’s notoriety might be to marry in Vegas several times a year and birth several kids then transport these children in one's vehicle without strapping them in safely. Perhaps the complexities of fastening a seatbelt are too complex.

Sadly, the real heroes are never really appreciated during their lifetimes. Now, we even chunk Washington and Lincoln together in one celebration of President’s Day. Why give poor Lincoln the shaft once again? The man’s excruciating existence entailed fighting every minute, even within his own party, to argue that human beings should not enslave other human beings. Lincoln set the groundwork for other heroes like Martin Luther King Jr. to carry the torch.

In comparison, what are we looking at with good 'ole George? He did lead the militia and government, but it's believed that he owned slaves. This is a fairly well substantiated but selectively forgotten detail. Alas, the cherry tree store is universally embraced. We all know that, when George was a mere lad, he chopped down a cherry tree. It must have taken a lot of muscle flexing on the little guy's part. Subsequently, with the fallen tree within immediate visual range of their abode, Georgie confessed to his pops that he had chopped it down. Yet 'lil George confessed only upon paternal interrogation. Rather a stretch to merit a shared day with Lincoln. What choice did Georgie have? You're hard pressed to hide a fallen cherry tree.

What I’m saying amidst all this talk of blondness and fallen cherry trees and all is that our American values are warped. Great people are hated because they are threats to the idiots, and the idiots far outnumber the greats. Too many stupid people are extolled for time immemorial. Meanwhile, we would do well to take lessons from much less privileged, and much wiser, societies.W

My point is not one of blond-bashing. I did in fact go fully blond years ago.Plus, I have known some brilliant blond women and men, and I'm Ellen DeGenes’ #one-millionth fan. She’s a cute,  smart, hilarious woman with blond hair. With a smart, sexy, talented wife with blond hair too.
Americans are generally stupid. Blond, bald, auburn, green, whatever’s on the surface of our scalps, we are stupid. We call someone great because they’re viewed by the masses as attractive -perhaps because they have blond hair, or make pornographic videos. Actually, the degree of a person's genuine talent is often inversely related to their popularity.