My Story, Yours Too.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Top 10 Worst Songs to Play When You Want to Get Lucky:

1) Three Times A Lady ~Lionel Richie
Hint: No woman wants to get naked to this song.

2) My Life Would Suck Without You ~ Kelly Clarkson
Sample lyrics: I know that I have issues, but you're pretty messed up too.

3) U Can't Touch This! ~ MC Hammer

4) We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off [to Have a Good Time] ~Jermaine Stewart

5) Big 'Ole Butt Song ~ LL Cool J.
Sample lyrics: Tina got a big 'ole butt. I know I told you I'd be true. But Tina got a big ole butt. So I'm leavin' you.

Note: This may have the desired effect if her name is Tina and her butt is much bigger than her brain. Test this theory at your own risk.

6) Big 'Ole Butt Song ~ Puff Daddy
Sample lyrics, and please note the more creative twists to this assinine (pun intended) "song": Keisha's got a big 'ole butt (uh-huh). I know I told you I'd be true. (I lied baby.) But Keisha's got a big 'ole butt. So I'm leavin' you. (Yeah that's right.)

Note: See note above. Replace Keisha's big 'ole butt for Tina's big 'ole butt.

7) I Touch Myself ~ Divinyls
Sample lyrics: I touch myself. I don't want anybody else. Oh no, oh no, oh no..And when I think about you I touch myself..ooh, oooh, ooooh, aaaaaah.

8) Oops! I Did it Again ~ Britney Spears
Sample lyrics: Oops! I did it again to your heart. Got lost in this game. Oh baby. Oops!

9) I Kissed A Girl ~ Katy Perry
Sample lyrics: I kissed a girl just to try it. I hope my boyfriend don't mind it.
Note: This blogger is impressed with Katy's level of sensitivity to her boyfriend's feelings.

10) - You fill this in, dear reader. Go wild with suggestions, and I'll choose the best or -actually- worst. I hope you get lucky!


  1. ROFLMBO! Nice Robyn! Great way to start the morning :D #3 WHO does THAT??! Not ME!! lol

    Sooo ok.. Here's mine:
    Stay With Me ~ Rod Stewart
    Sample Lyrics: "Won't need too much pursuadin',
    I don't mean to sound degradin',
    But with a face like that you got nothin' to laugh about."



  2. Smiling now. Your comment for Lionel Richie's song is so true.

  3. Cherry pie - Warrant
    Sample lyrics:

    In the back of my car
    Ain't got money
    Ain't got no gas
    But we'll get where
    We're goin' if we
    Swing real fast

    Uh,,,really,,there's a vine transit system now????? WHO KNEW?????!!!!!!

    Had to have a good Hairband ref added..

    Laughing---GREAT POST!!! Hugs!!!

  4. Rod Stewart - 'do ya think I'm sexy?"

    Kitty x

  5. "You Can Leave Your Hat On", by whoever happens to be singing it at the time!

    "Baby You Can Drive My Car", by The Beatles

    "Maggie May", by Rod Stewart

  6. Rosie By Jackson Browne
    Rosie you're all right -- you wear my ring
    When you hold me tight -- Rosie that's my thing
    When you turn out the light -- I've got to hand it to me
    Looks like it's me and you again tonight, Rosie

  7. "Like a Virgin" Madonna too hokey
    "Stroke Me" Billy Squier ugh nuff' said
    "Lay Lady Lay" Bob Dylan just weird
    "Lola" the Kinks now I must say I adore this song but thinking about transgender lovin' does not get me goin'

  8. 'I'm A Wanker' by Ivor Biggun and the Rednosed Burglars

    And no, I didn't make it up

  9. lol on 'i touch myself' classic!

  10. Wow, my blogger friends sure know what music not to play when they want to get lucky. I'm very impressed with the initial entries, and I've got some songs to go look up - especially Uber's. Stay tuned..
    love and luck to you,

  11. U can't touch this...LOOOOOOOL

    friggin awesome post!

  12. What a weird idea. But I can think of worse ones - most in the death metal and hardcore grunge genre. Hehehe.

    Do you hate it too?
    "If you're going through Hell, keep going."

  13. Hilarious post. I love these song suggestions!


  14. HA! Robyn, you are hilarious too!
    :) :) :)

  15. i guess, "cant get no satisfaction" would work here.

  16. Ballots are still flooding in from across the globe, and the polls remain open until we run out of "I voted for the 10th Worst Song to Play When You Want to Get Lucky" stickers. Stay tuned for more commentary and announcement of the winner-loser of the 10th best-worst song in this unique category.
    Now for another commercial break.
    Love and chocolate kisses,

  17. I was laughing because these are mostly songs from a different time. I would think any song with any vulgar word at all would work. Music with no words whatsoever seem to be the best... jazz, classical or even gregorian chants where the words are not understood.

    Music is not an area I try to get creative in with a woman. The best music I have found for a woman is "what kind of music really gets you in the mood" and going with whatever the answer is to that question.

    If they say ummmm I do not know me saying or the ever so popular --whatever you like ... ok do not complain about anything I play then... If you get a busted eardrum from my music you have nobody to blame but yourself... (said in gest of course)...

    Your list was very amusing.

    Best regards,
    Tom Bailey

  18. I'll see your category...
    Dancing with myself – Billy Idol

    and add the "wow, that's just wrong" angle...
    Seventeen – Winger
    Rock the Cradle of Love – Billy again

  19. I'm so voting for "can't touch this"!!

    Hey Robyn, I know it's kind of redundant and all, but you're so good so it's kinda you're fault, well I'm handing you an award too!


  20. This is high-larious. Here's my entry:

    - Donkey Butt by 12 Gauge (google it if you don't know it lol)

    You will NOT get lucky if you play this song.