Monday, August 7, 2017

Pat Hatt and the Cat, parental guidance suggested

Dearest Sillies,
What can I say? Pat Hatt gave my secrets away.
Here's part of his rhyme about me, posted Sunday at his sea.
In non-highlighted font you will find, my comments in kind (well, actually, naughty, not so kind).

I'm assuming you're all following Pat Hatt.
He's phenomenal, weird, quirky, over-the-top creative, and very generous. He'll put you in the spotlight when you least expect it. Thank you, Pat!

Be well, my friends.

Robyn likes large.
Slim won't work.
Neither will quick discharge.
Large and long is a perk.
I won't lie or fake it.
What you say is true.
If it's too stubby or slender
I say: "We didn't start, but we're through."
I mean, shrinkage can't be the excuse every time
When I need binoculars to see it
A banana works fine.
Wow, went there.
Odds are I would.
We've got verses to spare.
Were those odds understood?
 Your naughtiness rivals 
my scandalous ways
We're both odd, so the odds were 
we'd confuse all for days.
That could be the why.
Why no new posts fly.
She's off under the sky,
With some new guy.
 Truth about why, no new posts fly:
There have been teasers, but no dates and no pleasers.
One hot chocolate man 
did make me beam
After I read my erotica (at Open Mic) - like a dream.
He bought me a drink, got my hopes up and then
stepped out for a phone-call
I'd ne'er seen him again.
Then there was one
with whom I shared a quick kiss and some fun
Later when I reached out to chat
he had to . . . sell baseball cards on EBay. Well, how 'bout that?
Alas, last week, I had finally met
someone decent and nice
I was ready to bet
There was a good vibe
and a two hour phone-call
He said he'd come up with plans.
I figured we'd have a ball.
Yeah, that didn't happen at all. (He didn't even call.)
So you see, this is why
no new posts fly.
I haven't been dating,
not even a smidge.  
Good thing I have friends
and bananas in the fridge.

45 comments:

  1. Smiling at the magic that you and Pat hav wrought. Sighing and understanding why there is a banana shortage.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You have friends in your fridge? Better let them out.
    Sorry you've met all the jerks in Chico.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yeah, well, that's why they're so cool.
      And irritated.
      Thanks, Alex.

      Delete
  3. I'll be thinking about you and this poem when I enjoy a banana with my coffee this morning.

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    Replies
    1. Savor that banana, Stephen. And next time, try it with chocolate. You'll thank me later. Wink.

      Delete
  4. lmao make sure they are ripe bananas though, those old ones may hang rather low. Friends in the fridge too? Wow, are you a serial umm collector at your zoo?

    Seems like you caught all the crap there at your side of the map. Time to move to a new spot. Maybe then you'll get the pick of the lot. Then all can keep their bananas and you won't be depriving any more nanas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I use 'em so quickly
      I have to re-stock
      Oh, and the bananas?
      Hm, didn't give those a thought
      just part of the routine -
      you know what I mean.

      Delete
  5. Don't put bananas in the fridge, Robyn! Just buy them when they're green and hard! One day you're going to give us a dating story with a happy ending.

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    Replies
    1. Hard ones? That's a good idea, GB. I should've thought of that. And that would be a refreshing change. Thank you, GB.

      Delete
  6. The comment above me - LOL!! Soft bananas just won't do.

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    Replies
    1. If anyone (besides me) knows about bananas, Spunk, it's GB. Smiles.

      Delete
  7. Shaking my head and the risque banter between the two of you (but laughing, too)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In my defense, Pat started it. Yeah, that argument never works. It's also never true. Shake my head.
      Thanks, Sage.

      Delete
    2. Yup, Pat started it. Sure, I believe that, uh huh.

      Delete
    3. Okay, well, Pat kept it going. Hey, wait a minute, it's good for a guy to keep it going. Alright, guilty as charged. For my final meal: zucchini bread & banana cream pie, please.

      Delete
    4. Good to know I can keep it going. Guess I'll throw those energizer batteries away.

      Delete
    5. Send them over, Pat. I can always make use of good batteries.

      Delete
  8. Pat's salute was hilarious. I'm proud that I got all his references since I enjoy your blog so much. Too funny - quite a comedy duo in blog world. Take care and have a good week. Bananas are good for you?!

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    Replies
    1. I love your response, and that you included Bernie on Pat's blog, Joanne. You're one of the best.
      And yes, we all need p...potassium, right? =)

      Delete
  9. Is it odd that I didn't find this odd because I enjoy both of you and your oddness?

    Still not as odd as a grown man turning you down for baseball cards, though.

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    Replies
    1. Not odd at all from someone equally odd (ie, weirdly creative). Thank you for commenting on the baseball card thing - MVP cards or not, ouch!

      Delete
  10. How about a warm zucchini instead of a cold banana? I could even deliver it, but my wife wouldn't understand. I'm just trying to help out a friend. What's wrong with that?

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    Replies
    1. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. Is the zucchini used, Jono? Not that that would matter. You're a good friend.

      Delete
  11. Frozen chocolate bananas! Wishing you the real thing (not frozen, but just as stiff) really soon.

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    Replies
    1. Me too, Mitchell. Sigh. Me too.
      Thanks, buddy.

      Delete
  12. Funny stuff! Thank you for the laughs today. Baseball cards?! Good grief. Sorry there have been no pleasers of late. Bananas are always good though. Even when they go soft on you, you can at least make banana bread out of them or whir them up with some yogurt, milk, and strawberries to make a smoothie. :) Wishing you a good week, Robyn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bananas are very user-friend. =) I'm also into plantains these days. They're super sweet and -mmm- when fried. Have you tried that, Connie?
      Thanks for your kindness, always.

      Delete
  13. Wow ~ You are one gutsy woman, reading your own erotica at Open Mic! I write, and I haven't tackled anything faintly erotic yet! The whole post had me laughing. Here's hoping things improve on the dating front!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you kindly, Fundy. I'm shy and mostly an introvert, but when I realized (after taking weeks to muster the courage to perform at Open Mics) that folks like (playful, pun-filled) erotica A LOT more than regular poetry, a floodgate was released. I aim to please. Smiles.
      Thank you for being my newest loyal. I'm glad we connected through Pat.

      Delete
  14. Delightful ribald duet! Well done.

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  15. How funny you both are. Now there is a friendship that has something in common.

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    Replies
    1. Pat's a tough act to follow, so I don't even try.
      He does inspire me to keep letting silly rhymes fly.

      Thank you, Cheryl.

      Delete
  16. Pat is one of my favorite people on Blogger. Just don't tell him that! haha Love you, my friend!

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    Replies
    1. I won't. There's too much ego at his pad - all the cats, you know.
      Love you too, my dear.
      Thank you.

      Delete
  17. My dating days for me are done
    If a man even smiles, I run, run, run
    I understand others must
    For me? relationships are a bust
    No self-pity, no sympathy, please
    Life without complications is the bees knees!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honey, I hear you
      Could not agree more
      Men cause too much frustration
      And after a 2-minuter? They snore!
      So lets grab some chocolate
      or stay in alone
      Cuz single's the way babe
      Love this man-free zone.

      Delete
    2. Hi Robyn, shall I bring the chocolate?

      Delete
    3. Hi, Treey,
      Yes, kindly bring the chocolate. But what will you eat?

      Thank you. =)

      Delete