And I Wrote This Book.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Chocolate GIVEAWAY WINNERS! Best V.Day Hate!

Dear Sillies,

You make it SO MUCH FUN to HATE Valentine's Day that  I ALMOST don't hate it. But I do still hate it. I also love you and your hate.

Before the big announcement, please enjoy some lovely hate from the lovely Cheryl:

Now, our 4th place winner who - as Pickleope said - made a real Valentine, Shoshanah Lee Marohn! This one's so beautiful, I wanted to re-post. Plus, she's a wonderfully fun artist and author.
Coming in 3rd, the remarkable Mr. Pat Hatt with: 
Roses are red. 
Chocolate is brown
Tomorrow they'll be cheaper, so calm the *uc* down

And now for second place...drum roll, Jeopardy music, and a wink from Martha Stewart (Oh never mind, she was winking at Trump. Yikes.). Stagehand Mccaulay Culkin shouts out, "There was no second place, you dumb f*k!" Oh yeah. Robyn flips him the bird. I forgot, friends. There was a tie for first place, and I couldn't decide. Both entries were equally weird and hateful and accurate.

The TWO WINNERS of Life by Chocolate's Annual VDay Hate Contest are:

Valentine's Day: the only time it's socially acceptable to offer up genitalia as a present.

AND
Al Penwasser's entry #3:
"Don't buy me a thing," she tells the poor sap.
Pal, get her some bling 
because...IT'S A TRAP!


CONGRATULATIONS, GUYS!! You'll each receive a generous, sweet package of chocolate goodness. We'll do dealings in private. Wink.

Much gratitude to all who participated and enjoyed this one - Life by Chocolate's best ever V-Day Hate Fest!

In spite of it all, may you experience a sweet Val...err, Chocolate Day!
Much love.

41 comments:

  1. How generous of you to allow two winners, Robyn. Some girls would have made those two reprobates fight it out in a play-off. It's about time someone gave Penwasser a good ass-kicking!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How'd you know what I have planned for the private dealings, GB? Undress to impress, Al. Wink.

      Delete
  2. That's my kind of Valentine's Day sentiment!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Worthy winners!
    Now, go have some chocolate.

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  4. Robyn...You are so very sweet to post my ramblings.

    As for the winners...CONGRATS to all of them. You all are so creative and funny.

    Hope all of you have a great Valentine's Day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I loved your ramblings and Shoshanah's entry.
      Ca;; me a sucker for creative hate.
      Thank you, Cheryl.

      Delete
  5. Thanks for reminding me that today is Valentin's day... maybe there is time to salvage the day ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Read and re-read these last couple of posts and you'll float through it to tomorrow's chocolate sales.

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  6. A great contest and congrats to everyone!

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  7. Great wins indeed. Enjoy your umm private dealings.

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  8. Well, today's the day,
    there is no doubt,
    to go buy some flowers.
    Unless they're all out.
    THANKS!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that you won
      Pretend to have fun
      No Chia pet -
      real flowers; one dozen too.

      Delete
    2. That doesn't rhyme.
      Oh well.
      You get it, Al.
      That's what she said.

      Delete
  9. Haha. Those are great. I do love me some Cheryl, too. Happy VD! Think of it as the day before chocolate goes on half priced sales.

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  10. Go, Pat. These were all funny, but his really made me lol. Happy V-day!

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    Replies
    1. Me too, Tamara. Thanks for dropping by.
      Hope you had a Happy VDay. Smiles.

      Delete
  11. Good choices, even though my choice didn't win.

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  12. Congrats to the winners! Love Cheryl's cartoons. How sweet.

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  13. The winners deserve the chocolate and so do you Robyn. It was fun reading all of these and love the cartoons

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Birgit. I'll indulge, because you said I deserve to. Wink.

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  14. Congrats to all the winners! Honestly all of the entries were great!

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    Replies
    1. It was a really great contest, JoJo - better than ever. I love my silly haters.

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  15. HA! Those were so funny! Sorry I missed it.

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    Replies
    1. Well I'm glad you saw all the entries, Pat. Aren't they awesome?

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  16. Today I can buy half price candy and keep it all for myself! Thanks for hosting alt-Valentine's Day Robin!

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  17. Congrats to the wieners! As last year's recipient of the chocolate package, I can tell you that Robyn will do right by you.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thank you, Janie.
      I need to figure out some sort of trap for Al. Maybe I'll put a whoopee cushion or gag gift in his package. Shh, don't tell.
      Love.

      Delete
  18. I loved Al's. My husband never falls for that trap though.

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  19. Congrats to all of the winners! Everyone did a great job, and Al knocked it out of the ballpark again! Was he the 2014 champion? I think you took 2015 off. I really miss you guys! This was fun, Robyn!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've missed you too, Julie. So good to see you again.
      Be well.

      Delete
  20. I like Valentine's Day because the kids have a blast with it. This year though, we were all sick! Happy Belated Valentine's Day. And PS if I didn't have kids, I'd hate the lovedaytoo. :)

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    Replies
    1. Kids are the best reason to celebrate. I got to to hear V-Day greetings from my sweet nephew, so that was heartwarming.

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  21. You have clever, creative, and funny followers, Robyn! Congratulations to the winners! :)

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  22. Yay! Fourth place! I'd like to thank the academy, and Glob, and my agent. (I have such a great agent.) (Not really.)

    I have a big reveal: I'm glad I didn't win the grand prize, because, although I love you, I don't like chocolate!

    Thank you so much for linking to my author page. You're the best.

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    Replies
    1. You made that beautiful art, and you didn't even want chocolate? That makes me like you even more Shoshanah. Thank you!

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  23. Believe your brain indeed haha

    Love the genitalia one.
    Great contest Robyn.
    Love sucks!!

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    Replies
    1. Haha. Thank you, Anthony, and thank goodness there is always chocolate. And friends. xo

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    2. Well, love only sucks if you're lucky.

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