And I Wrote This Book.

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Annual Anti-Valentine's Day GIVEAWAY!!

Dear Sillies,
I'm kicking-off Superbowl Sunday with announcement of:
Life by Chocolate's Annual Anti-Valentine's Day GIVEAWAY!! 
There's a natural connection to football...fields of sweaty, studly young men and tight-end receivers working up a sweat, making passes, charging forward and scoring -- in SOMEBODY ELSE'S end-zone. Play after play. Game after game. Year after year. So, yeah, see rules below.
In any format (photos, cartoons, sculpture, words only...), and using NO MORE THAN 15 words, create an Anti-Valentine's Day slogan. Either post it in the comments section or email it to Rawknrobyn@aol.com. Entries must be submitted by midnight PST on Saturday, Feb 11th. Enter as many times as you like, and anyone can enter (You need not be a blog follower.)

You, dear readers, will vote on the winner(s). I shall cast deciding vote(s), if needed. And you can vote for yourself, but it's one person, one vote. Kinda like real democracy, only I always accept bribes and compliments. Not that this has anything to do with who's gonna win. I just like bribes and compliments.

Oh, the winner(s)* will receive a very generous, sweet chocolate package in the mail -- their preferences and dietary restrictions taken into account.

*It's been too close to call for a few years, so more than one of you might win.

Have fun and send me your hate!

A good week to you, my friends.
Take care of yourselves.

54 comments:

  1. Time to rev up the snark! I will be back...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is the best my brain can do I'm afraid:
      I love you just enough to spend ten bucks at WalMart on February 13.

      Delete
    2. Haha. That's pretty darn good, Alex. Thank you.

      Delete
  2. Bribes are always nice. The cat can be bought, may not come cheap though lol

    Roses are red.
    Chocolate is brown
    Tomorrow they'll be cheaper,
    so calm the *uc* down

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent, and exactly 15 words.
      Thank you, Pat.

      Delete
  3. I look forward to voting for a winner. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy Fucking Valentines Day..thanks for reminding me.....too rude?? I. In a good place but my friend is about to embark on a very nasty divorce so I was channelling her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, Happy Fucking Valentine's Day. The Falcons lost. Damnit!

      Delete
  5. I look forward to seeing them!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I won't enter this year because I won last year. Someone else should have a turn at all that lovely chocolate.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  7. Aww this is going to be difficult because I LIKE Valentine's Day a lot.
    "A hundred hearts wouldn't be enough to carry the spite I have for you." I guess that's more of a slogan directed at one person.
    "Love is an art, one letter off from fart. Let them both pass."
    Yeah, that'll do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! That will do, PVP. Thank you for your submissions!!

      Delete
  8. I thought about you last night with the superbowl commercial featuring one of your leading ladies/jail birds, Martha Stewart

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, Sage. I was laughing hysterically when I saw the commercial. Apparently, they're buds. My friends and I were laughing that one of those two has a history of imprisonment.

      Delete
  9. Roses are red
    Feces are brown
    Tie weights to yourself
    Jump in and drown

    I'll send you a bribe soon. I promise you. It will be great. I am the best briber. No one love bribes more than me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my, I can't stop laughing. Excellently spiteful, Jono.
      Thank you.

      Delete
  10. 1. How do I love thee? Not much!!
    2. Your lips are like a dead, dead rose.
    3. Get lost or I'll get a restraining order!!
    (Bribe to follow.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A triple entry - fabulous.
      Thank you, Fishducky, and I'm looking forward to the bribe.

      Delete
  11. Pickleope Von Pickleope's suggestion above made me laugh. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. My entry is a picture at this link: http://shoshanah.space/2017/02/06/an-anti-valentine-card/

    Sorry! I don't know how to post pictures directly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I LOVE IT, Shoshanah! Thank you!
      I'll post it with all the entries when the polls close. =)

      Delete
  13. Hearts are cheap
    Grabbers fist and bump
    Fake news by a creep
    Tweeter named Trump

    P.S - Where's Al when you need him?

    Another fun contest,Robyn!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're wonderful, Julie. Thanks for the entry.

      I'll give Al a nudge, so I can submit his usual 15 entries. It's not the same without him.

      Delete
  14. I'll be waiting for the creative minds to send their entries and laugh my head off again. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's already looking really good and entertaining, Lux. I think a good number of us will be laughing our heads off. Thank you.

      Delete
  15. Hmmm Right now i got nothing but i'll try to add something. I'm at work right now so not very motivated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No worries. You have until Saturday, Holli. =)

      Delete
  16. Intriguing contest. I'll go historical --preValentine Februaries:

    The shepherd in me
    Misses Lupercalia --naked
    Magistrates, shaggy
    Thongs, whipped shins,
    Plutarch and Rome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is HOT, and exactly 15 words.
      You nail it every time. No pun intended by the term "nail," because it's a verb and not a noun. Smiles.
      Thanks, Geo.

      Delete
  17. (exactly 15 words)
    Valentine's Day: the only time it's socially acceptable to offer up genitalia as a present.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Valentine's Day: When love is shown through trinkets and crap rather than emotions and intimacy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another perfect 15 word entry.
      Thanks, sweet friend.

      Delete
  19. Hi Robyn! Yay....you know how I love contests. My entries will be coming by email as I don't know how to attach images to your comment section.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ladies and Gentlemen, we are about to experience some mild turbulen... ahhhhhhh. Love sucks. Amen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. I especially like the "Amen." Thanks, Anthony. xo

      Delete
  21. Roses are neat
    Violets are dear
    Chocolates are sweet
    I'd rather have beer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll take the sweets
      You take the beer
      Who's the drunken fool?
      It's clear.

      Delete
  22. Today's the day
    you might get a moaner.
    Viagra's a way
    for a four hour boner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Viagra is nice
      it's magical too
      But who needs the blue pill
      when cucumbers will do?
      (My response is disqualified, because it's more than 15 words.)

      Delete
  23. "Don't buy me a thing,"
    she tells the poor sap.
    Pal, get her some bling
    because...IT'S A TRAP!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, dude, if you wanna get laid
      Jeweler must get paid.

      Delete
  24. It's Valentines Day
    There's chocolates, maybe flowers
    Hey what's on TV?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keep the TV on.
      Relax. De-compress.
      She needs something to watch
      when you're having sex.

      Delete
  25. Love is in the air
    Bill Clinton may get lucky
    He needs no excuse

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It seems HRC
      makes no demands.
      Yet compared to DT,
      She has YUGE hands.

      Delete