And I Wrote This Book.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Anti-V Day GIVEAWAY! VOTE NOW!

Dears,
   Many wonderfully hateful messages were submitted to our annual Anti-Valentine's Giveaway. The winner(s) will win a generous package of chocolate sweets. As a reminder, any form of entry was accepted, but limited to 15 words. All of my followers get to vote. Despite the crowds, I shut, locked, and dead-bolted doors to our studio. We received plenty of timely submissions.
   I now present you with the ballot. Please vote once for only one entry. Place your ballots in the comments section or email to Rawknrobyn@aol.com. If you're voting for someone with multiple entries, please specify which entry of theirs you're voting for (e.g., Bernie Sanders #1). Feel free to vote for yourself - we won't judge.
   Polls will close at the end of the day on Monday, February 13th (11:59pm PST).
   Thank you to all who participated. I love all you haters. Good luck!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex J. Cavanaugh: I love you just enough to spend ten bucks at WalMart on February 13.

Pat Hatt Roses are red. Chocolate is brown
Tomorrow they'll be cheaper, so calm the *uc* down

Birgit: Happy Fucking Valentines Day..thanks for reminding me.....too rude? 

Pickleope Von Pickleope: 1. "A hundred hearts wouldn't be enough to carry the spite I have for you." 2. "Love is an art, one letter off from fart. Let them both pass."

Shoshanah Lee Marohn:
 

Jono Roses are red / Feces are brown
Tie weights to yourself /Jump in and drown 

 fishducky    1. How do I love thee? Not much!!
2. Your lips are like a dead, dead rose.
3. Get lost or I'll get a restraining order!! 

Empty Nest Insider Hearts are cheap / Grabbers fist and bump
Fake news by a creep / Tweeter named Trump

Geo.: The shepherd in me / Misses Lupercalia --naked
          Magistrates, shaggy / Thongs, whipped shins,
          Plutarch and Rome.

A Beer For The Shower Valentine's Day: the only time it's socially acceptable to offer up genitalia as a present. 

Elsie Amata Valentine's Day: When love is shown through trinkets and crap rather than emotions and intimacy.


2.
3. 
 *As a bonus, Cheryl submitted three more. Since they have over 15 words, they're not on the ballot. I'll post them when winner is announced.

 Anthony J. Langford: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are about to experience some mild turbulen... ahhhhhhh. Love sucks. Amen.

Al Penwasser: 1. Roses are neat
Violets are dear / Chocolates are sweet
I'd rather have beer

2. Today's the day / you might get a moaner.
Viagra's a way / for a four hour boner.
3. "Don't buy me a thing," she tells the poor sap.
Pal, get her some bling / because...IT'S A TRAP!
4. It's Valentines Day / There's chocolates, maybe flowers
Hey what's on TV?

    5. Love is in the air

    Bill Clinton may get lucky
    He needs no excuse

    REMEMBER, YOU ONLY GET TO VOTE ONCE FOR ONE ENTRY (If you're voting for someone with multiple entries, please indicate which numbered entry gets your vote). 
    "I voted" stickers are en route from Florida and will be here by 2019. We appreciate your patience. Be well, my sillies. 

42 comments:

  1. So many good entries! Might I have multiple votes? No? Geesh, so bossy! Al Penwasser's beer one and the beer guys' reflection on the acceptance of genitalia as a gift were wonderful, but I'm giving the nod to Pat Hatt- his pragmatic use of the after-Valentine's Day discount warms my cheap heart.

    So, I cast my vote for Pat. Only count it once and don't let the Russian's hack it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat was originally my first choice then I saw Beer For the Shower.
      Genitalia always seems to get me.

      Delete
    2. Does genitalia just seek you out or does it just know all about you? Do I even want to know?

      I can play second fiddle to that lol

      Delete
    3. Russian hackers got confused because they don't see an orange candidate, Elizabeth.

      Al, well if you can't get genitalia, at least it gets you.

      Pat, that's what she said and with a loud LOL - (i.e., "I can play second fiddle to that.")

      Delete
    4. Damn, I got Al a nice set of genitals for VD, but nothing for Pat. I ran all out of genitals. I'm sorry to say no one will be playing a second fiddle this year. :(

      Delete
    5. Haha. Pat gets no bonus genitalia. Sorry, Pat. Better luck next year.

      Delete
  2. Wow is it hard to choose just one!!!! They are all so clever! I think I'll vote for Al Penwasser's second entry (viagra).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Some really good ones - I vote for Al's third one - it's a trap!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pickleope is quite funny and so is a Beer For a Shower. Hey now what would be the comments if we were celebrating V.D. Day?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A wishy washy voter, I see, Birgit. I'm afraid we'll have to toss your ballot unless you make a clear choice in the next...hour and 18 minutes.

      Delete
  5. Beer For the Shower.
    Definitely.
    In recognition of their sentiment, I'll provide a microscope and tweezers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where is it? I'm using the microscope, Al. Can't find anything.

      Delete
  6. Shoshanah Lee Marohn. Love them all. You have the very best followers, Robyn!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know. I'm a lucky lady for that, Wilma.
      Thank you!

      Delete
  7. Al Penwasser's entry is funnier than mine!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please specify which one of Al's, Fishducky. Thanks.

      Delete
  8. I'm going to have to vote for Penwasser 2. I knew he'd find a way of lowering the tone when i thought it couldn't get any lower. And also for having rhe cheek to submit five entries like a total knave.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Al's third one is rather true, gets my vote, even if he took 5 tries lol

    ReplyDelete
  10. Replies
    1. Please specify which one of Cheryl's, Martha.
      Thank you.

      Delete
    2. Oh, tough one. I think I'll vote for number 3.

      Delete
    3. Thanks Martha! And they're all great, I know.

      Delete
  11. I vote for Pickleope #2.

    And I don't mean Pickleope Poo.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  12. My vote is A Beer For The Shower.

    ReplyDelete
  13. LOL! Oh, that third one of Al Penwasser's is so true. That's the winner.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I gotta vote for the sheer overwhelming sentimentality of the Beer for the Shower boys.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thank you to our early voters! Polls will stay open until tomorrow night. Every indication points to ANYBODY'S win, with scattered results, a few leading contenders, and some trailing behind but highly likely to gain momentum...Suspense builds. We can't trust the media. But alas, someone(s) truly worthy will reign victorious. xo

    ReplyDelete
  16. I have to vote for Shoshanah Lee Marohn, she put in the work to actually make a Valentine card. Special shout out, though to Cheryl, who really went the extra mile but didn't stay within the parameters.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Tough to choose but I pick Pat Hatt's entry.
    Good stuff all around. Cheers, beers, and chocolate. No one is a loser here

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never any losers around here, except the trolls. And Martha Stewart. And DT.
      Thanks, Joanne.

      Delete
  18. So many good ones, but I have to vote for Al's 1st. I'd rather have beer, too. It's not romantic, sure, but drink enough of it and romance becomes completely irrelevant.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I vote for A Beer For the Shower entry. So many good ones but I always find their stuff hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh, it's tough. I love at least 3 entries. But then I think this one tug the heartstrings the most:

    Al Penwasser:
    "Don't buy me a thing," she tells the poor sap.
    Pal, get her some bling / because...IT'S A TRAP!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thank you, sillies. Polls will close in 2.5 hours! We're ready to count ballots through the night if that's what it takes. ;~)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Wow so many great ones to choose from! I had a difficult time making a choice but my vote goes to Pat Hatt. It made me spit out -oh never mind. :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. All of them were great! If I had been here, and if I had been able to cast a vote. It would go to Shoshanah.

    ReplyDelete