Many wonderfully hateful messages were submitted to our annual Anti-Valentine's Giveaway. The winner(s) will win a generous package of chocolate sweets. As a reminder, any form of entry was accepted, but limited to 15 words. All of my followers get to vote. Despite the crowds, I shut, locked, and dead-bolted doors to our studio. We received plenty of timely submissions.
I now present you with the ballot. Please vote once for only one entry. Place your ballots in the comments section or email to Rawknrobyn@aol.com. If you're voting for someone with multiple entries, please specify which entry of theirs you're voting for (e.g., Bernie Sanders #1). Feel free to vote for yourself - we won't judge.
Polls will close at the end of the day on Monday, February 13th (11:59pm PST).
Thank you to all who participated. I love all you haters. Good luck!
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Alex J. Cavanaugh: I love you just enough to spend ten bucks at WalMart on February 13.
Pat Hatt Roses are red. Chocolate is brown
Tomorrow they'll be cheaper, so calm the *uc* down
Tomorrow they'll be cheaper, so calm the *uc* down
Birgit: Happy Fucking Valentines Day..thanks for reminding me.....too rude?
Pickleope Von Pickleope: 1. "A hundred hearts wouldn't be enough to carry the spite I have for you." 2. "Love is an art, one letter off from fart. Let them both pass."
Shoshanah Lee Marohn:
Jono Roses are red / Feces are brown
Tie weights to yourself /Jump in and drown
Tie weights to yourself /Jump in and drown
fishducky 1. How do I love thee? Not much!!
2. Your lips are like a dead, dead rose.
3. Get lost or I'll get a restraining order!!
Geo.: The shepherd in me / Misses Lupercalia --naked
2. Your lips are like a dead, dead rose.
3. Get lost or I'll get a restraining order!!
Empty Nest Insider Hearts are cheap / Grabbers fist and bump
Fake news by a creep / Tweeter named Trump
Geo.: The shepherd in me / Misses Lupercalia --naked
Magistrates, shaggy / Thongs, whipped shins,
Plutarch and Rome.
Plutarch and Rome.
A Beer For The Shower Valentine's Day: the only time it's socially acceptable to offer up genitalia as a present.
Elsie Amata Valentine's Day: When love is shown through trinkets and crap rather than emotions and intimacy.
Elsie Amata Valentine's Day: When love is shown through trinkets and crap rather than emotions and intimacy.
*As a bonus, Cheryl submitted three more. Since they have over 15 words, they're not on the ballot. I'll post them when winner is announced.
2. Today's the day / you might get a moaner.
Anthony J. Langford: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are about to experience some mild turbulen... ahhhhhhh. Love sucks. Amen.
Al Penwasser: 1. Roses are neat
Violets are dear / Chocolates are sweet
I'd rather have beer
Violets are dear / Chocolates are sweet
I'd rather have beer
Viagra's a way / for a four hour boner.
3. "Don't buy me a thing," she tells the poor sap.
Pal, get her some bling / because...IT'S A TRAP!
4. It's Valentines Day / There's chocolates, maybe flowers
Hey what's on TV?
So many good entries! Might I have multiple votes? No? Geesh, so bossy! Al Penwasser's beer one and the beer guys' reflection on the acceptance of genitalia as a gift were wonderful, but I'm giving the nod to Pat Hatt- his pragmatic use of the after-Valentine's Day discount warms my cheap heart.
ReplyDeleteSo, I cast my vote for Pat. Only count it once and don't let the Russian's hack it.
Pat was originally my first choice then I saw Beer For the Shower.
DeleteGenitalia always seems to get me.
Does genitalia just seek you out or does it just know all about you? Do I even want to know?
DeleteI can play second fiddle to that lol
Russian hackers got confused because they don't see an orange candidate, Elizabeth.
DeleteAl, well if you can't get genitalia, at least it gets you.
Pat, that's what she said and with a loud LOL - (i.e., "I can play second fiddle to that.")
Damn, I got Al a nice set of genitals for VD, but nothing for Pat. I ran all out of genitals. I'm sorry to say no one will be playing a second fiddle this year. :(
DeleteHaha. Pat gets no bonus genitalia. Sorry, Pat. Better luck next year.
DeleteWow is it hard to choose just one!!!! They are all so clever! I think I'll vote for Al Penwasser's second entry (viagra).
ReplyDeleteIt's hard?
DeleteBill Clinton's favorite.
Some really good ones - I vote for Al's third one - it's a trap!
ReplyDeletePickleope is quite funny and so is a Beer For a Shower. Hey now what would be the comments if we were celebrating V.D. Day?
ReplyDeleteA wishy washy voter, I see, Birgit. I'm afraid we'll have to toss your ballot unless you make a clear choice in the next...hour and 18 minutes.
DeleteBeer For the Shower.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely.
In recognition of their sentiment, I'll provide a microscope and tweezers.
Where is it? I'm using the microscope, Al. Can't find anything.
DeletePat Hatt gets my vote.
ReplyDeleteShoshanah Lee Marohn. Love them all. You have the very best followers, Robyn!
ReplyDeleteI know. I'm a lucky lady for that, Wilma.
DeleteThank you!
Al Penwasser's entry is funnier than mine!!
ReplyDeletePlease specify which one of Al's, Fishducky. Thanks.
DeleteI'm going to have to vote for Penwasser 2. I knew he'd find a way of lowering the tone when i thought it couldn't get any lower. And also for having rhe cheek to submit five entries like a total knave.
ReplyDeleteMy cheeks always cause a stampede.
DeleteAl's third one is rather true, gets my vote, even if he took 5 tries lol
ReplyDeleteI vote for Cheryl!
ReplyDeletePlease specify which one of Cheryl's, Martha.
DeleteThank you.
Oh, tough one. I think I'll vote for number 3.
DeleteThanks Martha! And they're all great, I know.
DeleteI vote for Pickleope #2.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't mean Pickleope Poo.
Love,
Janie
My vote is A Beer For The Shower.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Oh, that third one of Al Penwasser's is so true. That's the winner.
ReplyDeleteI gotta vote for the sheer overwhelming sentimentality of the Beer for the Shower boys.
ReplyDeleteThank you to our early voters! Polls will stay open until tomorrow night. Every indication points to ANYBODY'S win, with scattered results, a few leading contenders, and some trailing behind but highly likely to gain momentum...Suspense builds. We can't trust the media. But alas, someone(s) truly worthy will reign victorious. xo
ReplyDeleteI have to vote for Shoshanah Lee Marohn, she put in the work to actually make a Valentine card. Special shout out, though to Cheryl, who really went the extra mile but didn't stay within the parameters.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Thanks, PVP.
DeleteTough to choose but I pick Pat Hatt's entry.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff all around. Cheers, beers, and chocolate. No one is a loser here
Never any losers around here, except the trolls. And Martha Stewart. And DT.
DeleteThanks, Joanne.
So many good ones, but I have to vote for Al's 1st. I'd rather have beer, too. It's not romantic, sure, but drink enough of it and romance becomes completely irrelevant.
ReplyDeleteI vote for A Beer For the Shower entry. So many good ones but I always find their stuff hilarious.
ReplyDeleteOh, it's tough. I love at least 3 entries. But then I think this one tug the heartstrings the most:
ReplyDeleteAl Penwasser:
"Don't buy me a thing," she tells the poor sap.
Pal, get her some bling / because...IT'S A TRAP!
Thank you, sillies. Polls will close in 2.5 hours! We're ready to count ballots through the night if that's what it takes. ;~)
ReplyDeleteWow so many great ones to choose from! I had a difficult time making a choice but my vote goes to Pat Hatt. It made me spit out -oh never mind. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Yvonne. =)
DeleteAll of them were great! If I had been here, and if I had been able to cast a vote. It would go to Shoshanah.
ReplyDeleteI love her magical artwork. Thank you, Pat.
Delete