When last we chatted, Scorpio had rattled off a string of strange, unfounded complaints: "You call me a jerk for watching the news," "It's all about you," "You won't help me clean my trailer." I instantly saw Justin (my ex-husband) in Scorpio. While Justin was ever-intent on fighting, I tenaciously focused on making nice (in other words: I kept trying to fix crazy). Ultimately, we'd both end more upset and frustrated than ever.
That night, though, Scorpio apologized. And unlike with Justin, he and I had a nice, sweaty bout of make-up sex. Yet, breakage had begun.
I loaded several heavy boxes into my car the next morning for Out of the Darkness (suicide prevention event). Meanwhile, Scorpio sat leisurely on my sofa. "I'll be there, don't worry." He stared at his phone. Well, I told myself, this will be the last time we're seen together.
Scorpio was distant during the event and into the evening. Back at home, we sat on my sofa watching a movie. A weighty silence filled the air. Finally, after unsuccessfully doing things to get attention like taking off my clothes, I yelped, "We're not even snuggling."
Scorpio unleashed a hot breath. "You're, you're" -- his head abruptly shifted up and down, and Scorpio gritted his teeth -- "You're making me crazy! This isn't a cuddly movie."
Mind you, it wasn't Schindler's List. But even if it had been, isn't every movie a "cuddly, snuggly" movie in a hot new romance?
Furiously hurt, I suggested he "just leave!" Scorpio readily took himself, and his phone, to my dining room table. When tears started to leak, I moved to my bedroom.
Moments seemed like hours.
The man finally stood calmly under my bedroom doorframe. "I need a break, and so do you."
With that, he turned his back on me. The front door slammed shut.
That was it!? A break. A brake? What? I'd never been on a relationship "break." Isn't that more for teens, or long term couples trying to decide on separation or divorce? Scorpio would rather abandon me under the guise of "a break" instead of cuddling during a movie?
You are loved and worthy.