And I Wrote This Book.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

The Bar Brawl

   So yeah, another day, another bar brawl. Me, a bar brawl! No worries, friends. I wasn't injured, banned from the bar, or thrown in jail. I am, however, ashamed of my behavior. Oh I'm proud too. More proud than embarrassed. And when I told Dawn (my sis) about it, she responded: "It's sort of cool to have a sister get into a bar fight! Who could have thought in the Engel family?  I call this an accomplishment." Our family's a wholesome bunch; it's a rare moment when one can associate an Engel with anything akin to a bar brawl.
    
Due to problems posting the down and dirty women's brawl, let's try this more accurate photo:
http://i0.wp.com/radaronline.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/little-women-la-fight.jpg?resize=640%2C400
   That night, I learned Scorpio is a full-blown alcoholic who'd traded me down for Methie. I know, right? It's as though he took a sudden, everlasting bungee jump with no bounce-back-up factor. And there they sat snuggling in a booth by the stage. My ego disappeared while a medium inferno raged through my 4'8" frame.  
    "Let's dance, Robyn." Brandi nudged, distracting me. I readily agreed. When I boogie, I'm good. Great even, alive, free, in control, on top of the world. Brandi and I smiled at each other, and I did some twirling when --
   My spinal cord jolted in sync with a shrill. "By the way!" Methie shouted, having charged at me from behind, "He broke up with you after only three weeks!" She then dashed across the floor and into the women's room on the other side of the club. 
   I looked at Brandi: "That does it!"
   Seconds later, I stood facing a bathroom stall door. Seems Methie needed to pee. I let it flow too: "You're an ugly alcoholic drugged-out pothead skank, and he didn't even have the balls to break up with me. Why would he go for you? You're so ugly!" 
   Done. But not really. I marched out to Scorpio --still sitting wasted at the booth. "Your new girlfriend is out of control!"
   Scorpio grinned proudly, thrilled to defend Methie. "Well you, you leave uh-her alone!" 
   "You didn't even break up with me, and you go to HER? Why would you go for someone so ugly?"
   "Oh...y-yeah?" he fumbled. "Why would anyone go for someone so" --Scorpio pointed at me-- "ugly?" He then concluded with, "F*k off and die!"
   "Get help," I snapped and turned to find Brandi. 
   She was dancing, this time with a few friends. "Are you okay, Robyn?"
   "Yeah, a little shaken," Breathe, I told myself. A foot stomping harmonica-vocal beat enticed me the moment I caught eye of a tambourine on a nearby table. (People leave instruments around for others to use.) I picked it up. As I began gently slapping the tambourine against my upper leg, Methie's hands were locked on it.    
   "Don't you dare touch my tambourine!" She pryed it from me.  Methie placed the tambourine back on the table. She came at me again, this time sort of yanking on or grabbing my arm. It was like a toddler meagerly pulling on Mommy's sleave to say "I'm here. Be scared or maybe not."  
   I then (in self-defense, of course), extended both of my arms directly in front of me, with raised palms towards her, and forcefully pushed Methie away. Brandi jumped between us. "Stop it! Enough!"
   A cute young bouncer, not much taller than 5'2", appeared.   "Look, I didn't see what happened, but no more fighting."
   Within a minute or two, a semblance of calm resumed. But then some words rolled off my tongue loudly: "She slept with Charlie*!"
   Methie, who was now a yard or two away, as Scorpio remained seated in drunken oblivion, defended. "That's not true."
   "The whole town knows**!" I added.

   Things soon settled down. I'd run out of ammunition. Methie and Scorpio resumed their snuggle-fest. Brandi and I departed. And I'm avoiding that place. 
   There's more, but we'll stop here.

*Charlie is an alias for a well known staffer at the club. I'd learned from a friend that Methie boasted about having had a fling with him. It was golden information that just kind of slipped out. Oops.

**I tossed this in for fun, and because - thanks to me - the whole town knows now.



48 comments:

  1. Sigh. And Hiss and Spit.
    How nice that it did end relatively quickly. I don't think there is enough hot water and disinfectant in the world to eradicate some relationships.

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    1. True. And it was squelched quickly, though I don't think either of us felt "done." Oy vey.

      Be well, EC.

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  2. Well, at least no one ended up punched in the face. That's when things tend to turn REALLY ugly.

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    1. Maybe that's why she's missing a front tooth. Nah, it's the meth.

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  3. Ouch. that's some nasty shit. I'd stay away Robyn. You're better than those scum. They only drag you down to their level.
    btw I cant see your photo of the brawl. Did it load properly? Or is it something at this end?

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    1. Thank you. Yeah, Anthony, I did go deep into swamp land with them. I'm staying away, especially since I have total faith that I could take them both down fairly swiftly.

      PS Sorry about photo. Thanks for pointing it out. I hope you can see new one. Smiles. xo

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    2. haha thanks Robyn - I can see it now.
      btw I had an awkward argument the day after this comment.
      I eventually walked away but wished I had done it earlier. Not proud. I ended up apologising for 'MY contribution'. I was very specific. Didn't get one back, but I felt better for having took the high road.
      Just thought it funny it happened so soon after....

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  4. Well that was....ugly! It's funny when a woman boasts about having had a fling with a man. Something tells me I don't want to see a picture of Methie!

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    1. I wouldn't show you a real photo of her, GB. I care about you too much. =)

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  5. Characterizing that as a "bar brawl" is a bit of mythologizing. I mean, I applaud you for being assertive in that situation while also kind enough to shout, "Get help," but a shove over a tambourine is less of a bar brawl and more of a "things you'd see at an open mic in San Francisco." Next time, not to advocate violence but, uh, punch her in the ovaries.

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    1. Okay, you got me. Yeah, I did slightly exaggerate, PVP. I hope the new photo makes up for that. But had people not stopped me, she would've barely walked out alive, not that I'm a violent person. Nor am I prone to stretch the truth or anything of the sort. ;~)

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  6. Wow. Sounds like such a fun and classy night out on the town. I sure hope you have another (nicer) place to go... with no Scorpios and no Methies.

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    1. Staying home is much nicer, but -yeah- I have places to go with no alcohol and wherein I can pretend to be at least somewhat classy. Or not, but at least I don't feel inclined to punch out a toothless woman and her beau.

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  7. They sound like they deserve each other and you deserve much, much better! Glad you got the hell out of that relationship, my friend. Love you!

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  8. Well a least you had a night to remember, while those two live in the sludge of each other with their tambourine.

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    1. Yeah, that's karma in the worst way; they have each other. Thanks Pat.

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  9. Oh Robyn. It's the folks that aren't fighters who are fearsome. You had your dander up. Wow. Hope you feel better. Those two are not worth effort. They are sad and pathetic. Truly these battles are moving you forward to someone worthy. Just a journey. Chin up and fiddle as Rome burns. Happy weekend

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    1. You always have such a lovely, kind way of giving a positive spin to my adventures, Joanne. I appreciate you.

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  10. "There is more but we'll leave it here"- what? You leave us hanging with knowledge that there was more....
    I would avoid that place for sure but it does sound cool since they leave instruments out for others to play with.
    Sometimes you just have to stand your ground and shove a little!! I would stand proud for sure.

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    1. Thank you, Holli.
      I'm proudly ashamed of my behavior, or shamefully proud. That's more like it.

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  11. Aaahhh, the awkwardness of the bar scene. It's scenes like this that keep me away from bars except for once or twice a year. I'm glad no one was hurt, but things like this seem to be a regular occurrence at these places. Even if you were sober there are many there who aren't. I hope Methie and Scorpio are happy in their codependent relationship.

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    1. Yeah. Always hated the bar scene. Unfortunately, the best music is often at bars around here.

      Thank you, Jono.

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  12. They both sound like such low lifes. I would be thankful that you aren't involved with either Methie or Scorpio.

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    1. They're meant for each other. It's hard to believe I was with him, but he was a totally different person when not a drunken, drugged out low life.
      Smiles. Thanks Cheryl.

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  13. Oh...I feel so close to you now:) I say...Good for you! Listen I had a bit of an altercation with a dipsy doodle neighbour of mine who actually was pushing her finger into the middle of my chest. Can we say Yelling match? Um...This happened 2 weeks ago-hahahaaa. I am proud of you actually because you finally had enough. Now, yes, we can say we would do things differently and we know better but that chickie bird knew what to do to get you riled up. We have all lost out tops on occasion but I'm smiling right now and I wish I had a glass of wine because I would clink it in honour of you. So I guess Methie is so ugly that if you pressed her face in dough, you could make animal cookies?:)

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    1. How dare she go at you like that, Birgit. Isn't it unbelievable that grown women behave like that. Lol, those cookies would scare small (and large) children.
      Hugs and love. Wish we could go out for drinks, or maybe chocolate sundaes (to avoid the bar scene).

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  14. Friends, I won't be on-line much through the weekend, so please (in advance) forgive my slowness in visiting and commenting. All's good, just busy.
    Love you.

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  15. Well, at least no one started throwing chairs or beer bottles around. Glad you escaped unharmed and only shaken up a bit.

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    1. Yeah, it was more like that photo. Thanks Connie.

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  16. Can you believe I have never been in a brawl? If I'm ever faced with one, I hope you're nearby with back-up and a Mai Tai.

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    1. I can't . . .wait, I CAN believe it. But let's keep it that way and just enjoy some Mai Tais. Thanks, girlfriend.

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  17. I'd feel like a fish out of water in a place like this.

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    1. Yeah, I need to stay away, lest I behave again like the drunken fools that frequent these places. It's another weird world, the bar scene.

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  18. Yeah, I'd just avoid it. At least two weeks.
    I've hardly even been in a bar, much less a bar fight.

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    1. Thanks, Alex. This feedback really helps. I'm taking my readers' advice, even though my local friends want me to return. It's not worth it.

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  19. Wow Robyn!!!!!! :O Methie sounds like a real piece of work and a slut.

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    1. Haha. Thank you, JoJo. She is indeed both. I appreciate it. I'm still laughing.

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  20. Well, y'all put the drama in drama there! I like how you threw out that bit of gossip at the end, for all to know!

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    1. It's a pretty hefty bit of gossip, especially because "Charlie" is in a serious, long term relationship with someone who's also well known in the community. Oops.
      Thanks, Shosh.

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  21. Again, I reiterate, Methie did you such a big, big favor. Sounds like your whole relations might have been ensconced in drama had it continued. Who needs that? Hearts are meant to be nurtured, not put on a rollercoaster ride. JMHO :) And I didn't expect you to be in a fight, but I did suspect you had a touch of spicy, hahahahaha That's not bad at all. And again I say, his loss.

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    1. You're sweet, Rosey. I appreciate your words. I'd never before unleashed my spice like that. She pushed, and I pushed back. Um, oops? =)

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  22. Glad you're okay, Robyn. Things could have gotten much worse. These are dysfunctional people. Count yourself lucky that you're out of there!

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    1. Yes, thank you, Martha. I really need to - and have - returned to being level-headed. I'm staying clear of that place and her/them, as much as possible.

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  23. Wow! You're pretty BA!
    Remind me to always let you touch my tambourine.
    Oh. Wait.

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    1. Only with your wife's permission, Al. I mean, um, only if it makes musical sounds. Err, if it has little cymbals on it. Oy, you just keep that tambourine to yourself, my friend. I don't want any more trouble.

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  24. "Shamefully proud." I like that! It's like I'm sorry, but will damn well do it again.

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