InSanity~Normalize, Don't Stigmatize Mentall Illness.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Breakage and the Mule's Tuchas, George and Robyn Part IV


Alas, Robyn had caught the matzo ball return. George and Robyn were in love, it seemed. Yet the field had gotten muddy, and things eroded from not-quite-right to...
  
They sat at her kitchen table. {George had insisted that tables, not sofas, were where one must eat.} While he ranted, Robyn reminisced about the good old days -- several months ago, when they first met, George had said he hated to argue. Robyn believed him. Little did she know what spurred this word-vomit, or that she'd be sliced in two by it.

"A lot of the mentally ill are violent."

Blood rushed through her system. When her (ex) husband had expressed a similarly hateful, insensitive comment about mental illness years earlier, Robyn was certain that he couldn't have said anything more hurtful. And he'd said a lot of hurtful things.* But this hit too close to home, caused too much pain, was utterly dismissive of her and her family, meant she couldn't stay with him. 

Reality is, Robyn likely could be in a relationship with a Republican, one who's nice and respectful. But she couldn't, under any circumstances, date a mule's tuchas.** Yet she didn't cut ties with George in that moment. We don't know why. Perhaps she's one of those co-dependent women who love too much.

"It really hurts to hear you say that." Robyn looked directly into George's eyes, maintaining calm. "I told you about my brother, and you know about my depression and my work on suicide prevention. Not all people with mental illness are violent."

"Well, some of them are!" George insisted.

"Yeah, and some people without a diagnosed mental illness are violent too."

--Silence--
Naively, lovingly, Robyn continued to pine for a more caring George, the one she'd thought she'd fallen in love with, one who never acted like a mule's tuchas.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Read all about her marriage in Robyn's 5-star book. Hint, hint. Critics agree it's a page-turner, and Alex warns: "Hang on for the ride."

**Tuchas=Yiddish for rear, derriere, butt, or ass; but I was trying to be polite.

Stay tuned for George and Robyn's final finale. 
First (in a few days): Thanksgiving Erotica.  
Be well, my friends, and take good care.

55 comments:

  1. Silly of him to argue about that. Had he actually counted the number of violent mentally ill people? Only a mule's bottom would have strong opinions about data it not possess. A mule's bottom that needed kicking.

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    1. I agree, GB. It's a closed-minded ignorance, and a dangerous one, that shouts untruths because it's what other mules' tuchases (not sure of the plural, maybe tuchot or tuchem) say.

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  2. Those kind of comments can make even the most sane person open up a can of whoop ass.

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  3. Why do so many of us think we can change people when we can't? I guess it's that hope we hang on to, huh? Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, my friend!

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    1. We're so good that we want to change the world, Elsie, one mule's tuchas at a time. We won't give up until we do.

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  4. Just go for for ass!
    (Wow, that sounds bad, doesn't it?)
    And I know a lot more violent people who aren't mentally ill.
    Looking forward to the Thanksgiving poetry!

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    1. It does sound bad, and I love it, Alex. But we both know that even or especially when I go for ass, I land in the dumps. It's pretty crappy.

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  5. "Mule's tuchas" is now my go-to phrase for jerks! Thanks for expanding my vocabulary, Robyn!

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  6. lol arse or ass can always be reached for. Showing his true colors after a while. There are plenty of violent nuts out there who aren't mentally ill indeed.

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    1. Or they are, but we're all mentally ill to some extent and/or for moments in time. George is too, though he'd never admit it.

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  7. Aww that's a bummer. Then to hear your protestation and to double-down on such an ignorant statement rather than to apologize and seek to become informed, that is a deal breaker. Maybe better in this instance to say, "it's not me, it's you."

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    1. You're right, PVP. He "double-downed" versus attempting to become sensitive or enlightened. That mule's tuchas. I should've gone with that line.

      Thank you.

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  8. When someone knows your hot buttons and chooses to punch one...

    If I had to guess, he was hoping you'd call it. Some people want out but don't have the cajones to say it. So, they say/do things that are hurtful so you'll do it for them. Not pretty, but true.

    I'd tell you I'm sorry about this, but I'll say instead to think of it as "tuition." You, my friend, received one more learning experience... and they always cost. The upside: you're smarter. So, that's something.

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    1. I love and am going to adopt your "tuition" perspective. Thanks so much, Robin. You're a wise and caring woman.

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  9. Acting like a mule's tuchas is definitely a deal breaker.

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  10. he just kept slinging the mule crap at you. Pretty much showed his true colors and lack of sensitivity. Quite the story - yiddish, the lure of T-giving erotica. Never boring - thank you. Hope it's a good week, Robyn

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  11. Maybe for your next relationship you should date a Republican. I mean, think how safe you'll feel being guarded by all of those guns.

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    1. Yeah, but I'd be afraid of saying the wrong thing. Then, you know, I'd get shot and killed. Then again, I was married to a Democratic gun owner. My plan is to simply avoid a mule's tuchas. (What can possibly go wrong, right?)

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  12. Dummy! Why'd you have to go and be an idiot, George? Why couldn't you just stay the guy she fell in love with? :(

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    1. I know. Thanks for your compassion, girlfriend. Damn George!

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  13. I'm married to a conservative and he mostly says annoying things just to get a rise out of me. He thinks it's a riot when I go off, roll my eyes, huff/puff

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    1. Kick him in the tuchas for me next time he does that, JoJo.

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  14. We forget or choose to ignore that a LOT more people with mental illness are the victims of violence than are the perpetrators.
    Heartfelt hugs. And praise that you didn't hold him face down in the toilet so that he could 'read the bowl'.

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  15. I've never been comfortable with "all" or "never" statements (except THIS one...no, no, I've NEVER been comfortable with that).
    I feel a little confused.

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    1. I'm realizing how dangerous they are too, all the time, Al. All the time.

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  16. He is an Ass! Sorry for the bluntness but he knew you well enough to hit below the belt. he knew exactly what he was saying and doing. So, in essence, he is calling Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Beethoven, Buzz Aldrin etc.. all violent people because they had to deal with mental illness? Puleasse! He was being a coward for not wanting to break up when he couldn't handle the "I Love you" moment so he rather dealt a low blow so you would break up with him. This is his way of being a victim or saying, to the next unsuspecting gal, that you could not handle the situation well. He needs his head examined. You are so worth more!

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    1. I love you for saying all that, Birgit. I'm laughing too.

      It's probably true that on a sub/unconscious level he was trying to piss me off. I don't think he's sophisticated enough to have been scheming about it, though. He fought for years with his (ex) wife, so he was used to it - even though he said he hated fighting. In other words, yes, I'm worth more. He's a tuchas. Thank you, very much.

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  17. I'm guessing the list of "do not bring up"s with him was fairly extensive. At least as long as the list of "subjects that I know nothing about that I'm an expert on". And quit buttering me up with that "I'd date a Republican" stuff!

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    1. Thing is, CW...*wink, wink*...you're not all bad. Some of you Republicans are cute, even. I just need to sensitize my radar to better detect a mule's tuchas.

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  18. Oh, Robyn. I read this post to my mule, The Colonel, and he was totally offended that you would compare an ass like George to his personal ass. Fortunately, he can be calmed down with a cookie and says he will forgive you eventually.
    We eat at the table about once a month which is how often we have to clean it off. The Colonel has to eat outside with the horses because his hooves mark up the floor a little too severely.

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    1. I eat at my keyboard on the couch or floor. George was on the OCD/anal side of the tuchas. I guess that doesn't make sense. Sorry for offending Colonel so much.

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  19. Be careful. George was responsible for Susan's death I I fear what he might do to you.

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    1. Fortunately, Stephen, no envelopes were harmed in the making of this post.

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  20. Tuchas my ass!! Lol. I think I George needs a kick in the tuchas!

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  21. George's opinion might arise from his customary place in the mule team. Unless one is lead mule, the view never changes.

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    1. This leads me to wonder if it's an honor or an insult to be the lead mule, Geo. I guess it's all about perspective, right?

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  22. Saying things to hurt other people, because you know where there buttons are, is one of the design flaws of humans... Love your description of him--I didn't know what a tuchas was but when paired with a mule, I had a pretty good idea.

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    1. I think a lot of this happens when we're not fully conscious of it, and in intimate relationships, too. Ugh. So complicated. I'm good alone, with chocolate and batteries (separately, never ate a chocolate battery before).

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  23. I agree with Benunoin Barb - he needs a giant kick in the tuchas

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    1. I'm wishing I was the violent type, at least for moments like these - when a tuchas needs deflation.

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  24. I'm still reading your book. It takes me a long time to read a book for pleasure because I spend most of my time reading the books I edit.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Thanks so much, Janie! Please excuse the typos too. I think I finally changed most of them. It's a long book. I'm just grateful to every reader. xo

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  25. Tuchas is now my new favorite word! Sorry that George's words hurt you though :(

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    1. Yiddish is really fun, Theresa. Glad you like "tuchas" too.

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  26. What George really meant when he said he hated to argue was that he simply doesn't like anyone to disagree with him.

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    1. You're spot-on, Mitchell. Why must I be so trusting and take people literally?

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  27. Yeah, pretty ignorant comment. Enjoying the book and looking forward to getting to this part.

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  28. Isn't it like a very small percentage of mentally ill are violent?
    He needs to do some learnin'.

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