And I Wrote This Book.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Chef Gordon Ramsay, The Ruthless Critic: IWSG


Image result for photos of gordon ramsay google images

Hi, dear friends.
   We're back with another edition of the IWSG/Insecure Writer's Support Group, founded by our beloved Alex J. Cavanaugh.

   We all know the harsh critic, right? This person suggests major overhaul and offers no positive feedback. They might even go so far as to rip you to shreds in hopes of sabotaging your efforts.
   Well, when you're slammed by knife-piercing, soul-crushing critique, accept the criticism for what it is: garbage. Then pick yourself up and turn to nicer, more grounded people for input. Ruthless critics reveal only one thing: they have issues. Don't let them win.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chef Ramsay's dialogue in red / Robyn in black / Stagehand Macaulay Culkin in blue

I'll now role-model how to interact with a raging critic, Ladies and Gents. For this purpose, I've invited one of the most ruthless of them all, Chef Gordon Ramsay. Yo dude, come on out her, Gore Dung!

Chef Gordon Ramsay walks onto the stage, a raging lunatic. What the f*k is this place? It's rubbish, pure rubbish! And what's all that sh*t all over you, you little f*n midget?
Laughing, Robyn responds: It's Dollar Store chocolate pudding, Gore Dung. What's that? Robyn leans to the side and points towards his rear. What's what?!  The thing that's been up your *ss for years? Oh, I don't have time for this nonsense. You're pathetic! You hear me! Pathetic!

Robyn nods at stagehand Macaulay Culkin, who pokes his head out from behind the stage curtains.  Naked French Dancers! Macaulay squeals in a playful, high-pitched voice. Naked French Dancers! Where? Chef Ramsay dashes towards the curtains, unknowingly stepping onto a huge fishnet made of miscellaneous drug paraphernalia. Macaulay yanks a long rope attached to the net. Ramsay is snatched up by the net, which soars towards the stage ceiling.

You f*n little runts! I'll f*n sue your f*n *sses! Get me the f*k out of here!
 Robyn gives Macaulay a high-five and a Dollar Store chocolate pudding for his efforts.
All in a day's work, she tells him. Best work you've done - the only work you've done - since Home Alone, dude. Nice.

Rib

42 comments:

  1. Ramsay is an oaf, but some women find him strangely attractive. Maybe he's like a pet dragon or something. So nice that you gave little Macaulay a role - a lot of people must have forgotten he existed!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Glad he got what he deserved! I'm heading over to the Dollar Store for some chocolate pudding. Pudding goes with everything!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  3. How nice to see the foul mouthed one get his just desserts. Or rather not get any desserts.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That was the best work he's done since Home Alone, all right.
    Ramsey is actually a nice guy on Hotel Hell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROFL
      I agree with Alex.

      IWSG #119 until Alex culls the list again :)

      Delete
    2. Yes, it's good to see that Culkin still has some skills.

      Delete
  5. I can just imagine him hanging there. Fun story Robyn.

    ReplyDelete
  6. He had it coming for calling you a midget. I bet he would call me one, too.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, you were much too gentle with Gore Dung!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, but you didn't see the sequel. Macaulay and I had some more fun. He's not happy, Deb. Not at all.

      Delete
  8. haha now you have chef ramsay just hanging around. Best he's done since home alone indeed

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have never actually seen an episode of his show, but just watching the previews I would never want to work for him. No thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I haven't seen his show and don't want to now, unless, of course, he's dangling from the ceiling as you describe

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think it's folks like this Ramsay fellow who inspired the quote about taking into account who said it before you allow yourself to become upset about it. In other words, some people are impossible to please. Or they've become iconic by being horribly mean (why are people attracted to this???). But, in most cases there is something positive to find to balance the negative... and if someone offers a critique with nothing positive, well that usually says more about THEM.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. There is no reason to be harsh at all with feedback, Robin. Honest, yes. Harsh, no. Even when I review legit crap, I give nice and honest feedback. It's really sad people are attracted to that.

      Delete
  12. I'm not sure about you and Macaulay, but you quoted Gore Dung verbatim from just about any episode of his show.Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Now I'm wishing I had some chocolate pudding. Hope you are having a good week, Robyn. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Suddenly have a craving for chocolate pudding. Love the post - and brilliant reasoning - it the person spits out garbage - what they are saying is garbage.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Howdy stranger :)

    I love Ramsey. He's crass but he knows his stuff and he's fantastic with the kids on his show. It's cool to watch him be such a mentor with them. Not sure if you've seen any of the Jim Gaffigan shows but Macaulay pops up randomly doing such bizarre things. It's great.

    Hope your book is rocking and rolling, my friend!! Congrats again!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I dislike his cooking show where he yells at them and they say "Thank you chef" I'd be taking that ladle and shoving it where the sun don't shine th, then lets see him rant. On his other shows he actually shows he has a soul on occasion. One older couple were living at their hotel and had no $. he helped them, never swore in their presence and paid a year for their rent in an actual apartment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's nice he has a soft side, Birgit, but that doesn't excuse his beastly ways. You go with that ladle!

      Delete
  17. I've never watched his show but I do not like the way he treats people, even if it is just an act for the show. It's abusive as hell. Considering he comes from such an abusive background, he should know firsthand what that kind of berating does to a person.

    ReplyDelete
  18. mWell, thank goodness he hasn't reviewed my books. I think I ight weep.
    By the way, my editing is on schedule. So you know, my girlfriend has "dropped me like third grade English" in the book. So, per your last review, I'm giving more of an insightful into what rattled around my coconut all those years ago.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Coconut juice? Sounds good. Thank you, Al. I'm glad I helped.

      Delete
  19. Ramsay turned me off long ago with his histrionics and huge ego. And lately it seems his face is resembling a catcher's mitt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, it only took about one episode for me to boycott him.

      Delete
  20. And then Macualey's grip slipped, the Gor-dung filled net crashes down, putting both of them through the stage and into the bottomless chasm below, and we all lived happily ever after. And that's how the little girl that grew up to be Robyn made life better for all of us...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL...EXCELLENT. Applause, CW. Great ending. Thank you!

      Delete
  21. Hi, sweetheart. It's like this.
    Grabbit myit booka here
    http://www.amazon.com/Woman-Verge-Paradise-Robyn-Alana/dp/1514345404/
    Buy me excellent writing God Bless you for buy of It
    You like excellent writting, no? God Bless
    You wil like my exsellent book.
    Promiss.
    You will like the longg mssag I agonna leave at your site too.
    Buy dear.
    Buy my book

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sweet Robyn, I think you showed ladylike refinement and saintly self-control in just scooping Boredon up in a huge net. After all, it COULD have been Sweeney Todd time.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Ramsay is a boor,but his histrionics garner ratings. I'd say you helped ratchet them higher. Good job and glad chocolate pudding could lure the d-list helper. Funny as hell, Robyn.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Yeah he's a fucker that Ramsay. Don't waste my time with that type of rubbish. Poor Culkey - he never really did anything else of note.
    Anyway, he has now because he's appeared here in his best work for years. Funny stuff Robyn!
    x

    ReplyDelete
  25. Are you sure he said runts? I was at the live taping, and I'm pretty sure he screamed something else...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guilty as charged, BnB. I just couldn't type that one. LOL.

      Delete
  26. This guy seems like a real wanker. I don't respect anyone who screams and curses all day long trying to assert their authority over others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're so funny - a real wanker, he is. He's flat-out abusive. He's his father (a raging abusive alcoholic), and he clearly never got the help he needs. It's sad how many people worship him.

      Delete
  27. lol I don't know him, but I'm laughing at the post and the comments. And really...kudos to McCauley for getting out there and trying something new. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The comments keep getting better too, Rosey. Thanks.

      Delete
  28. Whenever I watch Gordon Ramsey, I oftem wonder why someone hasn't just hauled off and punched him in the freaking face!! I guess it's all about the tv ratings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think he's had quite a few run-ins with the law and law suites, BB. But one wonders why, too, none of this has been caught on camera. Alas, Macaulay and I have turned the tables.

      Delete