Hi, dear friends.
We're back with another edition of the IWSG/Insecure Writer's Support Group, founded by our beloved Alex J. Cavanaugh.
We all know the harsh critic, right? This person suggests major overhaul and offers no positive feedback. They might even go so far as to rip you to shreds in hopes of sabotaging your efforts.
Well, when you're slammed by knife-piercing, soul-crushing critique, accept the criticism for what it is: garbage. Then pick yourself up and turn to nicer, more grounded people for input. Ruthless critics reveal only one thing: they have issues. Don't let them win.
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Chef Ramsay's dialogue in red / Robyn in black / Stagehand Macaulay Culkin in blue
I'll now role-model how to interact with a raging critic, Ladies and Gents. For this purpose, I've invited one of the most ruthless of them all, Chef Gordon Ramsay. Yo dude, come on out her, Gore Dung!
Chef Gordon Ramsay walks onto the stage, a raging lunatic. What the f*k is this place? It's rubbish, pure rubbish! And what's all that sh*t all over you, you little f*n midget?
Laughing, Robyn responds: It's Dollar Store chocolate pudding, Gore Dung. What's that? Robyn leans to the side and points towards his rear. What's what?! The thing that's been up your *ss for years? Oh, I don't have time for this nonsense. You're pathetic! You hear me! Pathetic!
Robyn nods at stagehand Macaulay Culkin, who pokes his head out from behind the stage curtains. Naked French Dancers! Macaulay squeals in a playful, high-pitched voice. Naked French Dancers! Where? Chef Ramsay dashes towards the curtains, unknowingly stepping onto a huge fishnet made of miscellaneous drug paraphernalia. Macaulay yanks a long rope attached to the net. Ramsay is snatched up by the net, which soars towards the stage ceiling.
You f*n little runts! I'll f*n sue your f*n *sses! Get me the f*k out of here!
Robyn gives Macaulay a high-five and a Dollar Store chocolate pudding for his efforts.
All in a day's work, she tells him. Best work you've done - the only work you've done - since Home Alone, dude. Nice.
Rib
Ramsay is an oaf, but some women find him strangely attractive. Maybe he's like a pet dragon or something. So nice that you gave little Macaulay a role - a lot of people must have forgotten he existed!
ReplyDeleteGlad he got what he deserved! I'm heading over to the Dollar Store for some chocolate pudding. Pudding goes with everything!
ReplyDeleteJulie
How nice to see the foul mouthed one get his just desserts. Or rather not get any desserts.
ReplyDeleteThat was the best work he's done since Home Alone, all right.
ReplyDeleteRamsey is actually a nice guy on Hotel Hell.
ROFL
DeleteI agree with Alex.
IWSG #119 until Alex culls the list again :)
Yes, it's good to see that Culkin still has some skills.
DeleteI can just imagine him hanging there. Fun story Robyn.
ReplyDeleteHe had it coming for calling you a midget. I bet he would call me one, too.
ReplyDeleteOh, you were much too gentle with Gore Dung!
ReplyDeleteYeah, but you didn't see the sequel. Macaulay and I had some more fun. He's not happy, Deb. Not at all.
Deletehaha now you have chef ramsay just hanging around. Best he's done since home alone indeed
ReplyDeleteI have never actually seen an episode of his show, but just watching the previews I would never want to work for him. No thank you.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen his show and don't want to now, unless, of course, he's dangling from the ceiling as you describe
ReplyDeleteI think it's folks like this Ramsay fellow who inspired the quote about taking into account who said it before you allow yourself to become upset about it. In other words, some people are impossible to please. Or they've become iconic by being horribly mean (why are people attracted to this???). But, in most cases there is something positive to find to balance the negative... and if someone offers a critique with nothing positive, well that usually says more about THEM.
ReplyDeleteI agree. There is no reason to be harsh at all with feedback, Robin. Honest, yes. Harsh, no. Even when I review legit crap, I give nice and honest feedback. It's really sad people are attracted to that.
DeleteI'm not sure about you and Macaulay, but you quoted Gore Dung verbatim from just about any episode of his show.Well done!
ReplyDeleteNow I'm wishing I had some chocolate pudding. Hope you are having a good week, Robyn. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty good stuff, Daisy. Thanks.
DeleteSuddenly have a craving for chocolate pudding. Love the post - and brilliant reasoning - it the person spits out garbage - what they are saying is garbage.
ReplyDeleteHowdy stranger :)
ReplyDeleteI love Ramsey. He's crass but he knows his stuff and he's fantastic with the kids on his show. It's cool to watch him be such a mentor with them. Not sure if you've seen any of the Jim Gaffigan shows but Macaulay pops up randomly doing such bizarre things. It's great.
Hope your book is rocking and rolling, my friend!! Congrats again!
I dislike his cooking show where he yells at them and they say "Thank you chef" I'd be taking that ladle and shoving it where the sun don't shine th, then lets see him rant. On his other shows he actually shows he has a soul on occasion. One older couple were living at their hotel and had no $. he helped them, never swore in their presence and paid a year for their rent in an actual apartment.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice he has a soft side, Birgit, but that doesn't excuse his beastly ways. You go with that ladle!
DeleteI've never watched his show but I do not like the way he treats people, even if it is just an act for the show. It's abusive as hell. Considering he comes from such an abusive background, he should know firsthand what that kind of berating does to a person.
ReplyDeletemWell, thank goodness he hasn't reviewed my books. I think I ight weep.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, my editing is on schedule. So you know, my girlfriend has "dropped me like third grade English" in the book. So, per your last review, I'm giving more of an insightful into what rattled around my coconut all those years ago.
Coconut juice? Sounds good. Thank you, Al. I'm glad I helped.
DeleteRamsay turned me off long ago with his histrionics and huge ego. And lately it seems his face is resembling a catcher's mitt.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it only took about one episode for me to boycott him.
DeleteAnd then Macualey's grip slipped, the Gor-dung filled net crashes down, putting both of them through the stage and into the bottomless chasm below, and we all lived happily ever after. And that's how the little girl that grew up to be Robyn made life better for all of us...
ReplyDeleteLOL...EXCELLENT. Applause, CW. Great ending. Thank you!
DeleteHi, sweetheart. It's like this.
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Sweet Robyn, I think you showed ladylike refinement and saintly self-control in just scooping Boredon up in a huge net. After all, it COULD have been Sweeney Todd time.
ReplyDeleteRamsay is a boor,but his histrionics garner ratings. I'd say you helped ratchet them higher. Good job and glad chocolate pudding could lure the d-list helper. Funny as hell, Robyn.
ReplyDeleteYeah he's a fucker that Ramsay. Don't waste my time with that type of rubbish. Poor Culkey - he never really did anything else of note.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, he has now because he's appeared here in his best work for years. Funny stuff Robyn!
x
Are you sure he said runts? I was at the live taping, and I'm pretty sure he screamed something else...
ReplyDeleteGuilty as charged, BnB. I just couldn't type that one. LOL.
DeleteThis guy seems like a real wanker. I don't respect anyone who screams and curses all day long trying to assert their authority over others.
ReplyDeleteYou're so funny - a real wanker, he is. He's flat-out abusive. He's his father (a raging abusive alcoholic), and he clearly never got the help he needs. It's sad how many people worship him.
Deletelol I don't know him, but I'm laughing at the post and the comments. And really...kudos to McCauley for getting out there and trying something new. ;)
ReplyDeleteThe comments keep getting better too, Rosey. Thanks.
DeleteWhenever I watch Gordon Ramsey, I oftem wonder why someone hasn't just hauled off and punched him in the freaking face!! I guess it's all about the tv ratings.
ReplyDeleteI think he's had quite a few run-ins with the law and law suites, BB. But one wonders why, too, none of this has been caught on camera. Alas, Macaulay and I have turned the tables.
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