And I Wrote This Book.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Starring You! Martha Stewart Returns!

Dear Sillies,
She insisted, so I let Martha Stewart visit again. I'm sorry. She's a stubborn one, with an odd display of hairlessness mid-chest. Did you notice? What a weirdo!
We're well into May, I realize, yet I have one final batch of your hilarious comments from April's Martha Stewart madness. Please enjoy:


JoJo said I don't get the fancy panties thing....I just cannot stand wedgies. I'll take my white cotton grannie panties with full coverage and no riding up any day. 
 Al Penwasser said Dare I say..."yule log?"

Elizabeth Seckman said She probably does it on a doily.

JoJo said What in the Sam freakin Hill is in that glass? 

 Empty Nest Insider said Poor Jan Brady. Did she get her braces off yet?
Birgit said I think most men would need a few if they had to get biblical with Martha.
 Jeremy Hawkins said Writing the music for this fantasy porn...as we speak. it's got a lot of chica-bow-wows in it... ;)

Michael G D'Agostino said 582 DOLLARS FOR UNDERWEAR?? It had better come with a "Get laid or twice your money back" guarantee!

Dixie@dcrelief said ..."a sportly unibrow..." Somewhere in a distant forest a sloth is puking.
 
Pat Hatt said That is one tunnel of love from which you'll never return whole. 
 Jacquelineand....said Next thing you know, she'll be selling bronzed pubic hairs...

Robin said I imagine she needed the KY Lubricant for the egg beater, no?
Stephen Hayes said What? You mean everyone doesn't have an egg beater in their bed?
Alex J. Cavanaugh said I think she still has issues.




49 comments:

  1. More stubborn than stains and about as desirable and welcome...

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  2. LOL those are so funny and thank you for including me with those very amusing people!!!! :D Her chest though....wax job gone horribly awry? Did you ever see the 40 year old virgin? The chest hair waxing is one of my fave movie scenes in the world...it's so hilarious.

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    1. I didn't see it. Maybe I'll find that scene. I can't think of a reasonable explanation for that chest hair/hairless thing.

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  3. I think Brigit is wrong. My boss made it known he has a thing for Martha. I think a lot of dudes would take a roll in the doilies with MaStew.

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    Replies
    1. Really, Pickleope Von Pickleope? Why? Is it her egg-beater fetish that's a turn-on?

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  4. You have some very clever readers my dear friend! Hope you are doing well. :)

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  5. So she's like blog herpes? She may disappear but she's always lingering

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  6. Oh my, she's like Sarah Palin, she just won't go away. That picture is hilarious!
    Sandy at Bridge and Beyond

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  7. Martha is something. I don't know what. But something.

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    Replies
    1. She's a lot of somethings, Ruth, but I try not to curse around here.

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  8. Hahahaha! I love the comments. Bloggers truly are the best.

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  9. Replies
    1. In a twisted way, yes. It's a good thing, Dixie.

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  10. thanks for featuring your fans and their comments. Truly a clever bunch. But Martha seems to bring out the best (or worst) in folks

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    Replies
    1. I am very lucky for you all. I don't deserve my followers, not after all this Martha madness.

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  11. Chica bow wows - way to go, Jeremy!

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  12. And yet she still has more body hair than I ever will. How disconcerting.

    I'd love to get biblical with Martha. And by that, I mean raining fire and a swarm of locust upon her as divine punishment.

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    Replies
    1. I bet she'd try to make a light and fluffy spring quiche with the locusts, BnB.

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  13. That pic leads me to believe the drapes don't match the carpet.

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    1. Is that some sorta of code for "Martha Stewart is a hairy freak", Jono? If so, those drapes and carpet are a blatant mis-match.

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  14. Wow, Martha is a lot hairier than I remember.

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  15. idk what the original post was about but i created a mental image of martha stewart beating some eggs in a thong with a dildo shaped egg beater#

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    Replies
    1. Perfect, Powdered Toast Man. Your mental image got you all caught up with my A-Z Challenge. High-fives to you. PS It's SO great to see you again! Just like old times.

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  16. Hilarious. The only thing I want from Martha is her money.

    Love,
    Janie

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  17. I love the sloth puking in a forest. Poor Martha, she needs to talk to Bruce Jenner on what he uses to shave his chest

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    Replies
    1. She could stand some lipstick tips from Jenner too, Birgit. Don't you think?

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    2. oh yes and probably a good way to walk too

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  18. You must be so proud of the loyal readership you've cultivated ;)

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    Replies
    1. I am. I love all of you, except the one or two who disappear every few weeks. Thanks, Michael. BTW, do you think people will forget I promised to eat chocolate covered bugs in celebration of 700+ followers?

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    2. Hahaha probably. If you don't want them, send them to Australia and I'll make a video of me trying them for you. Email me if you're keen.

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  19. Martha's new picture is hilarious! I would love to know whose body she needs to be exorcised from. Thanks for including my silly comment, Robyn. I'm honored to be on the same list with sloths, egg beaters, and Yule logs! I'm still laughing from all the comments!

    Julie

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  20. Scanning through a few of the blog quotes above (blog herpes?), I am afraid she will never leave.

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    Replies
    1. You have reason to fear. There is no cure, Sage.

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  21. Hilarious comments! :D That picture is so disturbing. Ha!

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  22. The look on her face says to me: "I think I should shave. And put some boobies on."

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  23. All the more reason to follow your blog Robyn! We all are a little nutty!! LOL

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, BB. I agree. Those who aren't are nuts not to be.

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  24. This photo is really funny. Poor Martha. Love the comments. Julie always makes me laugh.

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    Replies
    1. Funnier even, Martha was so ready to pose for this shot. She wanted me to take more photos too, but I told her that felt a bit exploitative. I'm respectful that way.

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  25. Tell Jacqueline the bronzed pubic hairs are fabulous in one of Martha's hand-blown bowls.

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    Replies
    1. Ewww and LOL. I'll tell her Mitchell, after I take advantage of your wisdom and upgrade the ambience in my kitchen. Thank you.

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  26. I wonder if Martha's been here to visit yet? :)

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    Replies
    1. My guess is that she's very much enjoying the attention - especially from the guys.

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  27. hilarious!!
    lol!

    Happy Memorial Day Weekend to you and yours!

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  28. Hey Robyn and somebody so famous that I aint heard of her. Oops, Martha should come over to the UK and explain herself. Seems like she could use a lot more um, adoring fans.

    The comments are no doubt funny, but lost on this confused dude :)

    Do I get bonus points for commenting at four in the morning? Yes? No? Who the hell is this guy?

    Nice one and I'm outta' here....

    Gary
    x

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  29. We are always up for some good poking at Martha. Well, not poking, but poking fun at. I don't know anyone who would willingly poke Martha.

    Hope you had a lovely weekend, Robyn!

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  30. Lol! Hilarious. I agree with JoJo, no fancy panties for me please and thank you.

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