Robyn: Ladies and gents, one of the biggest pop icons of all time is here today. As a teen idol in the 90s she had the highest grossing albums and worldwide concert tours. Now, at age 32, she's performing in Vegas, along with the likes of Barry Manilow and Wayne Newton. Let's welcome Brittney Spears!
Britteny walks out wearing torn jean shorts, a hot pink tank top, and black heels.She and Robyn shake hands and sit facing each other on cushioned chairs.
Robyn: Thanks for taking the time to be here today.
Britteny, smiling: Personally, I'm a shy person and I'm particularly not really made for this industry because I am so shy.* It's not something I deal with so well. I'm not saying it's good to be a bitch, but a lot of times in this industry it's better to speak up and say what's on your mind, which I have a problem with.*
Robyn, with raised eyebrows: I see. You're free to speak your mind here, darling. I do need to ask, though, why Vegas?
Brittney: I figured it'd be a really good place for the children and the family. It was kind of like an ideal situation.* Besides, I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.*
Robyn: Mmkay, well, today is the first meeting of the the year for the IWSG. I've pretty much addressed all my insecurities in this group, and I'm not so great at imparting inspiration. I was hoping you'd do that. You've been through a lot and you're, well, you're in --Robyn's voice drops and she smirks--Vegas, with other has-beens. Let's face it, girlfriend, you're a mess -- in and out of the mental ward; conserved by your daddy because you're too unstable to make your own decisions; your first marriage lasted 55 hours and your second, three weeks.
Shocked, Brittney starts to cry.
Robyn softens her tone. No, no, no. Don't take it as a negative. I was saying all that to show how much you're misunderstood. Because the truth about you, dear, is that you're actually prolific.
Britteny sits up taller. Thanks, but I'm not politic. I don't talk about President Osama. She smiles. I don't like to start stuff. She giggles.
Robyn: No, I meant meaningful, deep. You even write poetry. In fact, I'll share a few lines from a poem you wrote for Kevin Federline. Robyn takes out an index card and reads, dramatically:
What you do, you pass down
No wonder why I lost my crown.*
Brittney smiles, proudly.
*Britteny's actual quotes, poetry, and song lyrics.