And I Wrote This Book.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Sundays in My City, Happy July!

Unknown Mami hosts an extraordinary weekly party. Visit her site here to appreciate scenes from across the globe. Hopping from city to city always leaves me feeling privileged to participate in blogland.


Welcome back to my spunky hometown, Chico, CA.

                   Our local mascot is all dressed up and ready for fireworks.






This car might not run well, but I bet the windshield wipers work great.







Thanks for visiting.
                             Would you like some chocolate cake?
                                                      Happy Sunday, happy new week, happy July!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Dufus of the Day Award


Life by Chocolate’s first Dufus of the Day Award goes to the woman who placed the following ad on craigslist, missed connections:

“Good grammar is sexy.”

You came into my workplace wearing a tight grey t-shirt baring the above phrase. I agree completely, and if I wasn't working I would have said something because you were looking so good E. B. White had to have been your granddaddy.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Sundays in My City, Colors

Unknown Mami is our weekly party hostess extraordinaire. Visit her site here to appreciate scenes from across the globe. Hopping from city to city always leaves me feeling privileged to be here in blogland.

Welcome back to Chico in Northern Cal, a colorful city, where you can find
   
     RED LEAVES,

an ORANGE TREE WITH NO FRUIT,



and an EVERYTHING AUTO.
Where has June gone? We've one week left.

                                                    May yours be filled with pleasant colors.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Summer Heat


I'm in the mood to re-post this one from 6/10. It may be due to my personal "drought." Or perhaps it's because summer is stepping in. Then again, I'm likely just being lazy. Whatever the reason(s), enjoy the heat and happy summer!

---

We met at the mineral baths. The afternoon sun pierced through the clouds, with sounds of waves thrusting against the rocks far below. He said he remembered me from when I first arrived. Flattered, I played it cool. "You do?" I asked casually. You are so damn cute, I could @!#$%* you right now, I thought. Damn, that heat! I nervously sputtered a few more words. His smile calmed me.

I didn't plan on anything like this, but I decided to give into my desires and enjoy every second of it. It was my birthday trip, after all. Life had been stressful, and I hadn't been close to a man in, well, far too long.

His touch was magically warm, sweet, and seductive. He fully focused on me. I can honestly say, too, that I thought only of him. I'll spare the details, except to share that he was really, really good and very giving. He seemed to know exactly how to meet my needs.

Eventually, I was in such a heavenly state that he assumed I was asleep. I wasn't, but he walked away anyway. Truthfully, I was too satisfied to feel any sense of weirdness or disappointment. When he didn't return, I got up slowly, to gather my clothes.

I took a few steps, and there he was. He even asked how I was feeling. I wanted to say, "Wow. Wow again. And more wows. You have no idea. I haven't been touched like that in..well, maybe not ever before. Kindly do it again. And again. And again. Please!" In real life, though, I tried to be suave. "Thank you for the great massage," I managed to articulate. I proceeded to leave him a huge tip.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

The Latest in Chocolate: Chocolate Covered Pomegranate Seeds

Dear friends,

Sorry I didn't get around to posting this weekend. I missed you and hope you're well. A belated happy Father's Day to all you daddies out there.

And now, onto the pomegranate...


What do you think of the pomegranate?

I'm not ANTI-pomegranate. I just never got into the pomegranate craze. It's a fruit that seems to have become the brand du jour for body washes, shampoos, lotions, foot powder and even chocolate.

So I gave the pomegranate a chance by sampling Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Pomegranate Seeds.

I like them. They're crisp and tasty - a delectable combination of fruit and dark chocolate. They are small and thus easy to inhale quickly.  It wasn't long before I found myself staring into an empty container. I can't say they're healthy - sugar and fat content are high, but they are kosher AND gluten free!

All in all, I give Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Pomegranate Seeds a 4 on a scale of 1 to 5 (5 being perfect).

Have a sweet week! 


Tuesday, June 12, 2012

On Why I Choose Celibacy Reason #191: The Droner


One of the worst things writers can do, I believe, is bore their readers. That said, this post is a fail. Forgive me. Perhaps you struggle with insomnia, though, in which case this may ease your affliction; feel free to read and re-read as often as necessary.

According to Merriam-Webster’s on-line dictionary, a “drone” is “a deep sustained or monotonous sound.”

According to me, a “droner” is one who inflicts boredom with a side of “Wake me up when you’re done!”

Last week, I met Droner for coffee at a local Starbucks.
~~~
What’s that yellowish speck on his unibrow, just left of center? I ponder, as Droner drones.

“It’s an okay job and all but it’s only part time, no benefits or nothin. And the pay schedule messes me up. I keep asking for every two weeks but sometimes my check doesn’t go through until after fourteen days...” He sighs. “I always argue with my friend, Bill, about destiny versus free will. I believe it’s all about destiny. I mean, everythin that happens to a person was gonna happen no matter what. I don’t believe in religion. It causes too many problems for this world...”

I’m thinking that speck is a piece of a muffin, maybe poppyseed. People who eat poppyseed muffins test positive for opiates. Wonder if it fuels his droning. I don’t know, but I could really use a poppyseed muffin right now.

“You know?”

I force my gaze off his unibrow. “Um, yeah.” It seemed the best response to whatever I was responding to.

“Well, I’m stepping out for a quick cigarette break. I’ll be right back.”

“Alright.” Really, dude? You drone for 13 minutes and need a smoke?

Relief, a friend, a normal guy, walks in.
“Hi Ken.”

“Hi Robyn. How’s it going?”

“Doing alright.” Trying to stay awake. “How about you?”

“Good, Allison just sent me over for some coffee.” We chat for a bit...
“How's Allison?” Lucky lady, not stuck with Droner.

“She’s well. We’re heading for Napa this weekend. Have you been there?”

Droner walks back in. Ken sees him approach the table and says, “Well, see you later, Robyn.”

Don't leave me. “Good seeing you, Ken.” 

“So you saw a friend? Me too.” He chuckles. “The dude always bums cigarettes off me. I gave him my last one. Man, did you see that wind yesterday? It was pretty brutal. I’m going fishing this weekend but need to dig up the ‘ole fishing pole from my garage. I have so much garbage in there I don’t know where to find it.”

He lifts his glass to take a sip.

I raise my left wrist to conspicuously check the time. “Well, I’m afraid I need to get going. I have an early day tomorrow.”

“Okay, let me know if you wanna get together again and go to the Farmer’s Market or somethin. Or we could go hiking around here or to Sacramento or Honey Run bridge or somethin. It’s all good, except when the weather's lousy. There’s some rainclouds out now. Look at that! You never know what it’s gonna be like out there. Well, nice meeting you. Just let me know.”

“I will.” I lie. “Nice meeting you too.” I lie again.

On the way to my car, I stop by Peet’s for a poppyseed muffin. I take it home to enjoy in the harmoniously non-boring absence of  Droner. 

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Ducks and the Moon, Sundays in My City

Unknown Mami is our weekly party hostess extraordinaire. Visit her site here to appreciate scenes from across the globe. Hopping from city to city always leaves me feeling privileged to be here in blogland.

Welcome to Chico, in Northern California. This week, I visited with some ducks and gawked at the moon. Excuse me for cheating on the "Sunday in my City" thing. The moon shots were, obviously,  taken at night -  a few nights ago.


Chico has its share of quackers.





                 This one needs a caption. Any suggestions? "Wanna neck?"

   Moon over Chico..

Thanks for stopping by. Have a relaxing Sunday and new week!



Sunday, June 3, 2012

Sundays in My City: Happy June!

Unknown Mami is our weekly party hostess extraordinaire. Visit her site here to appreciate scenes from across the globe. Hopping from city to city always leaves me inspired, privileged to be here in blogland.

The horse at Chico California's Horse Store and More is ready for Flag Day.


The rest of the town is ready for spring to turn into summer.



Thanks for visiting.
Happy June!