Hello, I'm Martha Stewart. But you already know that. What you might not know is that even us --Martha clears her throat-- mature women enjoy a good *bleep* now and then. So I stitched together a black underwire DDD-cup brassiere, a finely detailed leopard print mid-section slenderizing torso wrap, and a pair of basic black nylon thigh hugsies. As you can see, the resulting product is this elegant yet sultry and all-purpose "Bite Me!" Bodice. The cost is only $3,893. Oh wait, I hear one of my servants coming this way. Let's see how it works. Toodles. 
