I hope you're well and in a silly mood.
If not, may this help get you there.
Love you.
Ladies
and gentlemen, taken directly from internet dating ads, I now
present you with reasons number 6 through 11 as to why it's wise for a straight woman like me to choose
celibacy. My comments are boldfaced. Naturally.
Enjoy! REASON #6:
50-year-old man
Juneau, Alaska, United States
seeking women 40-53
in Idaho, United States
Excuse me, Junea, d'you know you didn't mention relocating, right? D'you know you live in Alaska and indicated that you are exclusively looking for an Idaho woman? Is there something you're not telling us about an Idahoan woman's ability to heat a guy’s igloo?
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REASON #7:
i am fun loving ,love to laugh and make jokes, honest, loyal, nice , friendly, outgoing, my date should be a nice girl who also has a great sence of humer She really would have to. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REASON #8:
These descriptions can be redundent and over-abundant As can you, sir. This wannabe writer Keep wannabe-ing, dude. is somewhat of a dreamer yeah, yeah, I got that much!, once confused by the unrealistic morphed reality of experience. Shocked no more by the power of suggestion, GRACED FREE WILL Why do you guys always bring up this Free Will stuff? You’re really into that movie with a killer whale. Huh? REINS Oh, maybe you’re into deers. FULL CONTROL TO THINK, SAY, DO, AND BE..IS TO FEEL THE TRUE KNOWING OF THE NOW! Wingspan Wait, it’s birds you’re referring to! You can’t fool me. Always here, arriving never is promise found within, showing up once again. the kept hope to parallel life to the end. LIFE UNCERTAIN garanteed by LIFE INEVITABLE No rhyme or reason needed None whatsoever, babe. Not one smidgen of it.
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REASON #9:
Interests:
WRITTING
You writting some bookkies, honey?
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REASON #10:
loking for catslove making money. traveling the world keeping. fit the beaches of the world tanning. Do you tend to see both the world keeping and world tanning on the same trip? i like all sorts of music. want to retire on the a nice beach. enjoy family. am very carrerrminded Does this mean you’re interested in the backsides of cars? abd llove pets Sounds suspiciously like animal cruelty.
I urge all readers to keep their felines away from this loker!
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REASON #11:
This has got to be the most endearing headline out there:
Frankly my dear! I dont give a dam!
It’s a good thing too, sweetie, being as I don’t have room for a dam around here.
