VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! ANTI-VALENTINE's GIVEAWAY!

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE HUMOROUS VALENTINE’S HATE.

Polls will close at midnight on Saturday, 2/13.

WINNER WILL RECEIVE A VERY SWEET PACKAGE.

(Please excuse weird extra column of numbers. Due to budget cuts, our studio recycled ballots from Florida. Thank you.)

 

1    1)  fishducky  

You love me.
I love me.
Isn't it nice that we have something in common?

2    2)  Elephant's Child

Surrounded by men who believe that they could get knotted, this Valentines Day I may take up macrame.

3    3) Yvonne
Dear Cupid, you're stupid. Just die but don't forget my chocolate. Love, me.

4       4) Janie Junebug

Fuck everybody.
Love,
Janie

Al Penwasser, #5-7

5    5)  Roses are red
Violets are blue
Me with no skivvies?
PU

6   6) A Valentine Haiku
(Assuming 'chocolate' has only two syllables, instead of three. I mean, what kinda freak says, 'Choc-o-lates'?)
Dozen red roses
Box of milk and dark chocolates
Just me and my hand

7   7) As Valentines approaches
I wonder what I'll see.
Probably stern reproaches.
Because the only one who comes?
Is me.

8   8) Elizabeth Seckman Love is in the air. Be sure to wear a mask.

9    9) Elsie Amata  Poor Cam you got sacked
in the process your shoulder looked jacked
I'm sorry that your team got beat
and you walked off the field in defeat
at least your team made it to the big game
my team, the Giants didn't, how very lame
no Super Bowl ring for  …See last post to read the end of this one. I’ve cut it at 50 words. Rules and all. Poor Cam. 

1    10) Jono It's meant for Martha.
Good Riddance Valentine

Oh, how I hate thee so
You’re like a dung beetle
In clean white snow
Your voice sets me a wailin’
With a shriek like Sarah Palin
With hatred I get my fill
From your breath of old roadkill
And with this final word
I flush thee like a turd

    11) Pat Hatt On this loving day
I'm sorry but we're through
With myself I'd rather play
While I search for someone new
Some advice you have earned,
So here it is in full
Your skin would not be burned,
If you hadn't rode that bull.

1     12)   Delores "It's Valentines Day. I'll ignore it if you will."

1    13)   Connie

Valentine's Day Veto

Some are stressed,
trying to prove their love,
to pass some unwritten test.
Those who are alone are made to feel
that their lives are somehow less.
Don't bring me any roses,
no heart-shaped chocolates or jewels.
Valentine’s Day is nothing but
a made-up day for fools.

1    14) Geo. I'm still waiting for Lupercalia to come back so I can run naked down the road.